Example research essay topic: First Confession One Side - 1,716 words

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... , and wondered were all religious people like that, really. It was my turn now. With the fear of damnation in my soul I went in, and the confessional door closed of itself behind me. It was pitch-dark and I couldn't see priest or anything else. Then I really began to be frightened. In the darkness it was a matter between God and me, and He had all the odds.

He knew what my intentions were before I even started; I had no chance. All I had ever been told about confession got mixed up in my mind, and I knelt to one wall and said: "Bless me, father, for I have sinned; this is my first confession. " I waited for a few minutes, but nothing happened, so I tried it on the other wall. Nothing happened there either. He had me spotted all right. It must have been then that I noticed the shelf at about one height with my head.

It was really a place for grown-up people to rest their elbows, but in my distracted state I thought it was probably the place you were supposed to kneel. Of course, it was on the high side and not very deep, but I was always good at climbing and managed to get up all right. Staying up was the trouble. There was room only for my knees, and nothing you could get a grip on but a sort of wooden moulding a bit above it.

I held on to the moulding and repeated the words a little louder, and this time something happened all right. A slide was slammed back; a little light entered the box, and a man's voice said "Who's there?"Tis me, father, " I said for fear he might't see me and go away again. I couldn't see him at all. The place the voice came from was under the moulding, about level with my knees, so I took a good grip of the moulding and swung myself down till I saw the astonished face of a young priest looking up at me. He had to put his head on one side to see me, and I had to put mine on one side to see him, so we were more or less talking to one another upside-down. It struck me as a queer way of hearing confessions, but I didn't feel it my place to criticise. "Bless me, father, for I have sinned; this is my first confession" I rattled off all in one breath, and swung myself down the least shade more to make it easier for him. "What are you doing up there?" he shouted in an angry voice, and the strain the politeness was putting on my hold of the moulding, and the shock of being addressed in such an uncivil tone, were too much for me.

I lost my grip, tumbled, and hit the door an unmerciful wallop before I found myself flat on my back in the middle of the aisle. The people who had been waiting stood up with their mouths open. The priest opened the door of the middle box and came out, pushing his biretta back from his forehead; he looked something terrible. Then Nora came scampering down the aisle. "Oh, you dirty little caller! "she said. "I might have known you'd do it.

I might have known you'd disgrace me. I can't leave you out of my sight for one minute. " Before I could even get to my feet to defend myself she bent down and gave me a clip across the ear. This reminded me that I was so stunned I had even forgotten to cry, so that people might think I wasn't hurt at all, when in fact I was probably maimed for life. I gave a roar out of me. "What's all this about? "the priest hissed, getting angrier than ever and pushing Nora off me. "How dare you hit the child like that, you little vixen?"But I can't do my penance with him, father, " Nora cried, cocking an outraged eye up at him. "Well, go and do it, or I'll give you some more to do, " he said, giving me a hand up. "Was it coming to confession you were, my poor man?" he asked me. "Oh, " he said respectfully, "a big hefty fellow like you must have terrible sins. Is this your first?"Worse and worse, " he said gloomily. "The crimes of a lifetime.

I don't know will I get rid of you at all today. You'd better wait now till I'm finished with these old ones. You can see by the looks of them they haven't much to tell. "I will, father, " I said with something approaching joy. The relief of it was really enormous. Nora stuck out her tongue at me from behind his back, but I couldn't even be bothered retorting. I knew from the very moment that man opened his mouth that he was intelligent above the ordinary.

When I had time to think, I saw how right I was. It only stood to reason that a fellow confessing after seven years would have more to tell than people that went every week. The crimes of a lifetime, exactly as he said. It was only what he expected, and the rest was the cackle of old women and girls with their talk of hell, the bishop, and the penitential psalms. That was all they knew. I started to make my examination of conscience, and barring the one bad business of my grandmother, it didn't seem so bad.

The next time, the priest steered me into the confession box himself and left the shutter back, the way I could see him get in and sit down at the further side of the grille from me. "Well, now, " he said, "what do they call you?"And what's a-trouble to you, Jackie?" Father, " I said, feeling I might as well get it over while I had him in good humour, "I had it all arranged to kill my grandmother. " He seemed a bit shaken by that, all right, because he said nothing for quite a while. "My goodness, " he said at last, "that'd be a shocking thing to do. What put that into your head?" Father, " I said, feeling very sorry for myself, " she's an awful woman. Is she? " he asked. " What way is she awful? She takes porter, father, " I said, knowing well from the way Mother talked of it that this was a mortal sin, and hoping it would make the priest take a more favourable view of my case. "Oh, my! " he said, and I could see he was impressed. "That's a bad case, sure enough, Jackie, " he said. "And she goes round in her bare feet, father, " I went on in a rush of self-pity, "and she knows I don't like her, and she gives pennies to Nora and none to me, and my da sides with her and flakes me, and one night I was so heart-scalded I made up my mind I'd have to kill her. "And what would you do with the body? "he asked with great interest. "I was thinking I could chop that up and carry it away in a barrow I have, " I said. "Before, Jackie, " he said, "do you know you " re a terrible child? "I know, father, " I said, for I was just thinking the same thing myself. "I tried to kill Nora too with a bread-knife under the table, only I missed her. " Is that the little girl that was beating you just now?" he asked. "Someone will go for her with a bread-knife one day, and he won't miss her, " he said rather cryptically. "You must have great courage. Between ourselves, there's a lot of people I'd like to do the same to, but I'd never have the nerve. Hanging is an awful death. " Is it, father? "I asked with the deepest interest-I was always very keen on hanging. "Did you ever see a fellow hanged?"Dozens of them, " he said solemnly. "And they all died roaring. " Oh, a horrible death! " he said with great satisfaction. "Lots of the fellows I saw killed their grandmothers too, but they all said 'twas never worth it. " He had me there for a full ten minutes talking, and then walked out the chapel yard with me.

I was genuinely sorry to part with him, because he was the most entertaining character I'd ever met in the religious line. Outside, after the shadow of the church, the sunlight was like the roaring of waves on a beach; it dazzled me; and when the frozen silence melted and I heard the screech of trams on the road, my heart soared. I knew now I wouldn't die in the night and come back, leaving marks on my mother's furniture. It would be a great worry to her, and the poor soul had enough. Nora was sitting on the railing, waiting for me, and she put on a very sour puss when she saw the priest with me.

She was mad jealous because a priest had never come out of the church with her. "Well, " she asked coldly, after he left me, "what did he give you?"Three Hail Marys, " she repeated incredulously. "You mustn't have told him anything. "I told him everything, " I said confidently. (All she wanted was to be able to go home and say I'd made a bad confession. ) "Did you tell him you went for me with the bread-knife?" she asked with a frown. "And he only gave you three Hail Marys?" She slowly got down from the railing with a baffled air. Clearly, this was beyond her. As we mounted the steps back to the main road, she looked at me suspiciously. "What are you sucking?" she asked. Bullseyes. "Was it the priest gave them to you? 'Twas. "Lord God, " she wailed bitterly, "some people have all the luck! 'Tis no advantage to anybody trying to be good. I might just as well be a sinner like you. " Bibliography:

Research essay sample on First Confession One Side