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... s if they appear outside their homes with their husbands they usually walk behind them. also if a husband entered a room where the wife is sitting she has to rise up as soon as he enters and do not seat except if he is seated. Most of the wives do not call their husbands by their first name, this is a symbol of respect, for a wife to call him (Have or by calling him the father of her son) (Robin: 12). there is a strong preference in the Arabia for the marriage of cousins.
In the book of kinship and solitary the author said that my interest in cousins marriage stems from my field work among the Berti of Sudan who practice this kind of marriage and expresses a preference for it. They are having the tradition of both Muslims living in south Africa. (Holy: 33). The Berti tribe believe like most other tribes in Sudan that they should marry within the house. The Berti also, have a tradition that a widow must not be let alone without a husband. Polygamy is something very normal to occur in Sudan. Marriage in Sudan, has a specific meaning for men which is not shared by women.
The woman is under the authority of her family. The father does not need to persuade his daughter about the advantage of her prospective marriage, for she has less opportunity to assert her own view about it. (Robin: 16). It is a tradition for them to say that when a man marries he marries the guardians. The man is not much concerned with the brides character as much as with the character of her guardian. What is awkward, among the Berti is the tradition they have that during the first year of marriage the wife still lives in her parents household and her husband visits her there periodically. He has his own shelter in his parents in law households, in which he stays there alone and eats alone while his wife associates with the members of her parents household and their visitors.
He is not allowed to even eat in his father in law presence except if he allows him. that is the reason why they prefer to marry kin, since the husband will not be under the authority of a stranger. From the shameful tradition for the Berti is for the father to offer his daughter to others to marry her, yet when a stranger of other family asks the girls father for marriage, he fulfills his obligation by informing his brothers and seeking their approval of the proposed marriage, by this he gives each one of them the opportunity to exercise the marriage right of his son and to claim the girl for him. (Robertson: 54 - 56). Similarly in another village in Sudan Burri al lamb village the occurrence of patrilateral parallel cousin marriage is highest in the most numerous lineage. (Holy 17).
The wedding rituals in Sudan Khartoum; First, of all to be mentioned before talking about the marriage rituals, is the suddenness preference to marry women who are circumcised. This is an Islamic tradition to them that they see it acceptable. In the book Seasons of immigration to the north, the author writes with description of the wedding ceremony in Khartoum. First, of all the marriage for the mother of the bride and of the groom is to recoup themselves for the presents they gave to other villagers on the marriage of their sons and daughters. For example; the mother pays money at wedding feasts. (Salah: 250). On interviewing Ashraf Makram a Sudanese student at the American University in Cairo, he talked about some of the Sudanese tradition concerning marriage rituals.
He said that the majority of the Sudanese with no difference of which tribe they do not see the their bride during the wedding ceremony since it is believed of bringing bad luck, he also said that the bride goes out from her father house only with her wedding gown (tub), and that it is a custom for the groom to buy everything for the bride in dozen. For example; he buys her 12 tub and 12 pair of chooses. As for the dowry he said that it can be either in gold, animals or money. It was a custom to be followed that the marriage ceremony can last for seven days, but nowadays due to the economic constraints it is only the rich families that perform this custom (personal Interview). The marriage that occurred in the story of El Take Salah, which is called Seasons of Immigration to the North, was that of cousins since they believe like what the author said that from the point of view of formalities the girl is reserved for marriage to her cousin is an irrefutable agreement according to the contentious of village folk; it was an ancient tradition with them (Salah: 226). The marriage rites are first performed in the mosque by the Imam.
When the contract of marriage is completed they place down the dowry on a tray so that everyone could see it. This rite is only for men to attend or if the father of the groom was dead the mother only attend. This is followed by the hitting of a brass drum to announce the start of the ceremony. People come from other villages to attend the ceremony, for example; the kong Bedouin gather and the talk were they are welcomed and offered food and drink. In every house in the village there was a party to host other villagers. A rifle is shot joyfully, there is also the slaughter of camels and oxen and herds of sheep.
The groom is dressed in kaftan of white silk, and an aba, and a turban. The next thing is the attending of dancers, singers and drummers. While in one of the houses the sheik will be reciting the Koran, while the girls danced in another house, and the men drank in another. (Salah: 257)... Marriage was a family affair, it required commitments, emotional as well as financial between families. the traditional arrangement is today under attack. we can conclude that the ancient practice of the father choosing a bride for his son usually throughout the women of his family and that of the brides family deciding for her whether to accept or not leaving for her only the formal words of consent, is slowly undergoing modernization.
As young people have more freedom, they have more opportunity to meet a prospective spouse before the engagement, and thus to participate in the family decision of marriage. This means that the Arab families are changing, and are accommodating greater individual freedom into the traditional pattern. Wedding celebration in the villages are becoming less extended than formally. And among upper classes in several societies the initial bride price is more often symbolic than before. At the same time there is an increasing emphasis on the late payment, which is due to cases of divorce.
There are some tradition apparently that have undergone modernization, but it was for the sake of the people. The economic reasons was one of the factors to affect some of the weddings rites. Fortunately; from the advantages of modernization are, education which raised the marriage age, and the engagement period which gave the couple the chance to know each other personalities. It can be said that modernization has lessen some of the applicable rites, but it has not abolished it. Tradition and customs for Arabs are a cultural heritage that they are proud of, and expresses them as a national identity for them as Arabs.
As for Arabs to have the same sort of customs this is a kind of unification for them, that does not differentiate between religions and gather Arabs. Holy, Ladislav. Kinship Honor and Solidatry. Manchester university press. Prothero, Edwin. Changing Family patterns in the Arab East.
American Robin, Fox. Kinship and Marriage. Penguins books 1967 Shall, Here. Law of Desire in Iran. Tours and CO ltd. 1989 Salah, Take. The Wedding of Zip, and Seasons of Immigration to the North.
Translated by Johnson Davis. Quarters books. 1980 Robertson, Smith. Kinship and marriage in early Arabia. Beacon press. Makram, Ashraf. Sudanese student at the American University in Cairo.
Personal Interview. 8 May 1998. Bibliography:
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