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Its a dark, stormy night. In the house next door, a woman screams and there is the loud crash of a chair smashing against the floor. As much as this sounds like a horror movie, it is non-fiction; these are the sounds of domestic violence, and this sort of thing takes place everyday. Between eight and twelve million women are abused each year in the United States (Evan Stark). Victims of domestic violence have trouble leaving abusers but when they do, there are many programs available to help them recover.
Domestic abuse has been around for many centuries. In the past, women were considered the properties of their husbands, and men were allowed to beat their wives with a stick as long as the stick was no bigger around than his thumb (Evan Stark). Putting the shoe on the other foot, men that were abused were thought of as jokes. In France, for instance, battered men were made to wear an outlandish outfit and ride backwards on a horse around the village (Lisa Wolff). Even though domestic violence wasnt taken seriously in the past, it was still a serious issue, though not as widespread. Even though a man riding around town backwards on a horse may sound comical, it is just an example of the appalling things victims go through.
For a long time, no one tried to stop these heinous crimes from being committed. It was not until 1871 that a man was denied the right to even moderately physically punish his wife. Even after that, violence still was not a big issue. In fact, it wasnt until the 1970 s that women began fighting against this violation of their rights. Many times, abuse can be confused with things such as discipline, but there is a big difference.
Abuse is defined as: physical maltreatment (Merriam-Webster). When abuse occurs, it generally means that the abuser is confused or angry with their spouses, someone else, or a situation they are involved in, and they are not respecting their spouses rights. Discipline is only used to correct your behavior, and fighting is being confused or angry with your spouse, someone else, or a situation, but still respecting their spouses rights. Domestic Violence plays a big part in the number of homicides each year.
Thirty percent of female homicides are committed by the victims husbands / boyfriends ; six percent of male homicides are committed by their wives / girlfriends . Not only that, but half of all females killed in 1 -on- 1 murder cases were killed by male partners. Frighteningly enough, these numbers have not been making a decrease. Anyone can be a victim of domestic abuse, but 95 % are women. Because that percentage is so high, a woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped, or killed by a male partner than by any other type of assailant. Abuse has become such a big issue, that it is cause for more injuries than any other problem, including car accidents.
Spouses and significant others are not the only offenders in domestic violence cases. In fact, they make up only 29 % of the offenders. Thirty-one percent of offenders are strangers, and 35 % are acquaintances; 5 % are even relatives. Though no one can guarantee that a stranger will not abuse someone, there are signs of what kind of men will abuse their spouses.
Men that have alcohol problems have a 38 % chance of abusing their spouses, and six percent chance of abusing their children. Also, men with limited education, low income, and poor prospects for advancement tend to feel powerless, and abusing their spouses makes them feel powerful. Many women that are battered at home end up having work-related problems as well. Thirty-five to thirty-six percent of employed battered women are harassed at work; many victims experience work related problems due to the violence.
As a consequence, 55 - 85 % of the women missed work and 24 - 52 % ended up losing their job (Range, Hearn). This becomes a major problem if the victim tries to leave because it makes them look bad, and then they are less likely to gain custody of their children. Even after all the abuse and the problems caused by the abuse, women still have trouble leaving their spouses. This is partly because people have many misconceptions of domestic violence and why it occurs: statements like She provoked the abuse, It takes two to tango, The abuse would end if she got a divorce, and If it was that bad, she would have left a long time ago, make battered women feel bad and it stops them from leaving their spouses like they should.
These statements are not true, and should be avoided at all times. Up until recently, the prosecutors did not give victims much support; some judges even ordered battered women to make up with their husbands. In Houston, only about 7 percent of all women with abuse complaints ended up filing charges (Lisa Wolff). Some women do not want to divorce because they feel that the men will change.
When the women finally have the guts to end these lethal relationships, they are frequently killed trying. It has gotten to the point where abusers force their spouses to have sex, but the victims still will not leave. Part of the reason is family values. While some just feel it is important to keep the family together, others fear losing their children if they divorce; some women are also isolated from shelters or other kinds of help. Society could to help rid of some of these fears by making sure people are not secluded from shelters and supporting parents that are domestic violence victims. Abused women are usually too scared to press charges, so there are now laws for the mandatory arrest of abusers.
Another reason is that arrested men are less likely to seek revenge if their partners are not the ones to press charges (Lisa Wolff). After a 1984 study showed that arresting batterers was a good way to stop them from continuing the abuse, the police started arresting more people for domestic violence cases (Marguerite Hallway). Stalking is a little different than abuse, but they are similar. Stalking is the act of following or watching a person against his / her wishes; stalkers are obsessed with their partners and they feel their partners are their property. Stalking is considered threatening behavior used to frighten the victim into submitting. A 1993 report by the Institute of Justice showed that most stalking victims are former partners of the stalker, and most relationships between them were violent (Lisa Wolff).
Stalking is a major problem, and some victims of stalking are eventually killed. Fortunately, many abused women can get help at shelters. These shelters would not be here if Erin Piece hadnt opened the first shelter ever. This shelter is called the Chiswick Womans Aide and it is a home for victims; they also have programs for abusive men. It first opened in 1972, and it is located in West London, England (Lady Lee). This led to the opening of shelters in the United States in 1973.
If a victim is trying to get out of a violent relationship and it is before an attack, they need to contact a domestic abuse agency and decide where they would go if they left home. It is important to find a neighbor to tell about the violence, so they can call the police if they hear any sort of commotion. The next step is to have a bag packed in case they need to leave home in a hurry; they should also find the quickest way out of the house and practice using it. It is very important for the victim to leave without waiting for an assault to take place, because they could be avoiding severe injuries this way.
If a victim wants to leave during an attack, they should move to a room or area with an easy access to an exit; they should stay away from the kitchen and anywhere else with sharp objects within reach. As the victim screams loudly and continually to cause a commotion, they should try to defend or protect themselves. Then they should quickly get away and call 911. The attack is what is called the climax of the relationship and it is not a good idea to wait for the attack before deciding to leave. After an attack, the victim should get medical attention immediately.
Then they should go file a police report; if they are at the hospital, they need to make sure they tell the nurse or doctor what happened and have them take pictures. They should try to save any evidence and then they should talk to someone about their options. After everything is settled, they should try to call a hotline or find a shelter. Even though before the attack is a better time to leave, waiting until things have cooled down is another good time. There are many ways to know if a relationship is violent. If someone is in a relationship where their significant other destroys their personal property, it is abusive.
Another way to know if it is abusive is if the persons significant other scares, threatens, hits, slaps, punches, kicks, or bites the person or their children. If they are in an abusive relationship, they need to call someone and figure out how to get out the relation as soon as possible. Still, men and women that are abused have trouble realizing that violence in a relationship is a choice. Usually, by the time the police get there, the abuser is apologizing and asking for another chance, this is when the police have to take it upon themselves to arrest the abuser, even if the abused one doesnt want to press charges.
If the violence is not stopped, the children may try to stop it, and get hurt. When this happens, DCFS is called. This is why it is important for people that are abused to leave as soon as possible. Most women that are abused leave seven times before they leave for good. That eighth time could turn out to be fatal, so the sooner the abused spouse leaves, the better. Even with all the terrible things abusers do, victims of domestic violence still have trouble leaving; when they do leave, there will be a lot of programs available to help and several people that will want to help.
When people are abused, they have a very scary life. Home is the one place where everyone should feel safe and if home isnt where the heart is, where is it?
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