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When most women think of falling in love, they think of pure bliss. They think of the long walks along the beach, those intimate nights, and a lifetime of happiness with their significant other. What they do not think of are the black eyes, the bruised bodies, the sleepless and tearful nights, and the fear of wondering if they will live to see the next day. It is not an easy concept to understand why a woman would want to subject herself to that type of lifestyle, but in some cases such as fear, the misconception of love, and the lives of children, women tend to forget that they are important as well. No matter what the reason, abuse is unacceptable and no woman or anyone else should have to put up with it. The fear of being killed is one of the main reasons that a woman permits herself to stay in an abusive relationship.
Even though in most cases the threats of death are not carried out, -- sometimes they are, -- and there is no way to guarantee the outcome (Faulkner, Why Women Stay) (web). The man often uses threats as an effective technique to keep the woman in the relationship. He may even tell her that he will commit suicide if she ever tries to leave him. No one wants the death of someone else on his or her conscience so the woman naturally feels that she has no other choice but to stay with him. There is also the fear of the man threatening to hurt someone close to the woman and that also persuades the woman to stay. Fear, as defined by Random House Websters School & Office Dictionary, is said to be a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, or pain.
By definition alone, one can clearly understand why fear plays a major role in abuse. To many women, children are the most import things in their lives. For this reason, a woman will do anything to make sure her child (ren) have a relationship with his / her father: Even if it means staying in an unhealthy relationship with his / her father. She does not want to feel guilty about breaking up the family, so she decides to stay, for the children.
He may also threaten to take her child (ren) away from her if she leaves him, so she tolerates him for a little while longer. Children play a very important role in any relationship and that is why it is so easy for a woman to get caught up in an abusive relationship when it comes to her children. Every mother wants her child (ren) to know his / her father, this is true, but to what extent should a woman have to endure pain, for the sake of her children? For many the answer would be only as far as love and compassion. Once the father begins to abuse the mother, who is to say that the children will not be next? Love is something that is very hard to define.
For many, it does not entail the same things. This is especially true when it comes to women who are in abusive relationships. The woman usually wants her relationship to work, and is willing to hang in there waiting and hoping for things to get better. She may even have the idea that if she loves him enough, he will eventually change. In no case is this true.
One person cannot change the lifestyle or thoughts of another person. Only that person can change himself / herself . She may believe the promises and explanations her partner offers and may feel she cannot simply give up on the relationship because of a few problems. Giving up on someone is not an easy or emotionless task, but sometimes it has to be done so that one can continue to live instead of sacrificing his / her life for the life or someone else. Deciding what to do about an abusive relationship is an extremely difficult task. When a woman enters a relationship, abuse is the last thing on her mind.
All she considers are the good times. No one should ever have to think about the act of getting abused, but it is something that happens and kills everyday. It is important to love yourself and know that love from a significant other is not suppose to hurt. When love reaches the point of bruises and tears, it is at that time that one should leave.
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Research essay sample on Relationship With His Her Father Abusive Relationship Woman
