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The wedding vows we take are to "love, honor, obey, in sickness & in health, until death us do part. When we bring a child into the world and into our lives, we make a different, unspoken vow. To this child and to God, we promise to love unconditionally until our dying day. For the first few years its easy enough to keep that vow. Everything our child does brings pleasure and joy: the first time that tiny hand grasps our finger, the first pseudo-smile, the first light of recognition we see in our childs eyes when we stand over the crib. All the firsts are amazing to us, as if its the first time any infant has rolled over, sat up, crawled, walked.
We are in awe of this tiny creature with which God has gifted us. As our child grows so do the joyous moments: reading bedtime stories (Just one more, please! ), trips to the park (Push the swing higher! ), visits to the zoo where we see Gods creatures through our childs eyes for the first time; learning to ride a two-wheeled bike, learning the ABCs, learning to read. Our love grows as this tiny creature grows. And as the child grows, his personality, abilities, preferences, and interests become more apparent. We determine that he hates veggies, is afraid of scary movies, is an excellent basketball player, and wants to be a rock star. So we camouflage the broccoli with cheese, avoid frightening movies, practice free throws on the driveway, and tell him he can become anything he wants to be if he works hard enough.
Teachers share that hes a chatter-box in class, hes a good-hearted child, but seems to be having difficulty in arithmetic. We explain to him the importance of good classroom behavior, rewarding him when we get a good report from the teacher. We tell him how proud we are of how kind he is to others and how thats the most important trait a person can have. We help him every night with math homework, and celebrate every small success. Perhaps hell never be a math wiz, but thats ok; well help him get through Algebra. As the childs world expands to include the neighborhood, school, friends, church, etc. , he is faced with many choices: should he pal with the nerdy kid or the cool, tough kid?
Should he try his very best in class or play the class clown? Should he spend the afternoon at the park playing baseball or spray-painting graffiti? Parents hope & pray hell make good, moral choices, but during the course of growing up, most will make a poor one. A choice that hurts someone often the child himself. And a choice that hurts us as well. Have we failed as parents?
Were we unclear of the rules? Too lenient? Too strict? Too indulgent?
Too demanding? Did we have expectations that were set too high or too low? Did we fail to be good role models? Did we encourage the right behavior through praise?
Our job as parents did not, unfortunately, come with a users manual. So, quite possibly, we did make a mistake or even many mistakes along the way. But as were faced with our childs failure, what action do we take now? The childs transgression must be addressed, of course. We must explain that their choice was wrong, why it was wrong, and how we expect them to make better choices in the future. We must help them fix the mistake; help them write a letter of apology, return the stolen item to the store, clean the spill.
Were the parents; theyre the kids who are citizens-in-training. Its our job to show them how to put things right again and, once corrected, we forgive them, express our faith in their ability to make better choices, and say well always love them unconditionally no matter what dumb mistakes they make. A very few parents are given a child who walks the straight and narrow path, rarely wandering off course. But most of us have a child who pushes the envelope, so to speak; at various times they challenge authority, makes the same mistakes over and over, and just doesnt seem to get it. We explain, complain, give consequences, offer rewards, clean up their spills, forgive, forgive, and forgive some more.
Then we hug them, and hold them, and tell them for the millionth time that, no matter what, we love them. And we always will. And just as we choose to show the world OUR best face, void of our imperfections, we must also show the world our childs best. There is little need to share his short-comings with others. He knows he has erred; it is merely further humiliation to broadcast his blunders to the world. In doing so, were reinforcing the idea that the child is incorrigible and will never amount to anything.
We must keep emphasizing to ourselves and most importantly, to our child that we know hes growing, learning, and becoming a phenomenal human being. Some parents receive an additional hardship of having a child with a physical, mental, or emotional handicap. We need to educate ourselves in the best practice of dealing with this challenge, and we struggle along with our child to help him become the best person he can given the hand hes been dealt. We learn how this uniqueness may impact opportunities and choices for our child; how it may cause him to learn at a slower pace, react in inappropriate ways and not learn from mistakes he makes. We must acknowledge our childs differences and take them into account as we teach, counsel, and mentor him.
The financial, emotional and mental expenses of rearing a child cannot be measured. Talk to any parent who is honest and theyll admit their child has caused them many tears, sleepless nights, worries, heartache, money, and emotional distress. We have all experienced the disappointment when our child strays off course. We deal with it in the best way we can, pray for Gods help, and move on. We look for new ways to manipulate behaviors, change attitudes, and sculpt this developing creatures character. We sometimes wish we had known all this was a part of the job description; but then again, who would apply for the job if we knew.
Like any job, the role of parent comes with its own rewards, benefits, perks and downsides. The position calls for long hours, eternal dedication, endless creativity, incredible patience, and constant and unconditional love. Like marriage, the job of parent is not one from which we can resign. We take it on for life. While there are days when we want to throw in the towel and storm out the door, we cant. Our child, the child we prayed to God to bring us, depends on us for the love he so desperately needs.
He needs to know that no matter how the rest of the world feels about him, no matter what is going wrong in his life, no matter how awful he feels about himself, there is at least one person his parent who is there for him. Someone who will clean up his wounds, kiss away his tears, and hold him close. Always. Forever.
No matter what.
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Research essay sample on Child Grows First Time
