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Mentally disturbed Aiko-sama of the Yano family - - Anguish of the family taking care of the beloved soul hovering between two worlds A bunch of camellias Early one morning in the winter of 2003, there was a cry for help from my daughter, who was upstairs. "Mother! Help me, Mother!" I rushed upstairs with an uneasy premonition, my heart pounding. What I found there was a lavatory bowl full of used tissues. The culprit was standing by the bowl, looking puzzled, as if to wonder who had done such a naughty deed. She said, " Someone came here, and put a bunch of camellias into this bowl, " while peering worriedly into it. "I do wonder who has done this!" I could not blame her. I went downstairs to fetch disposable gloves and a bag, with my eyes dimmed with tears.
A couple of days before, I had had an interview with a judge from the city care agency to evaluate the level of the home care services my Mother needed. I took a photograph of this situation so that it could be used to help determine such a level later. Almost in the same hour the next morning, I had to rush upstairs for the same reason. By the end of the day we had placed a sign indicating, "This toilet is out of order!" , on the door of the toilet. Instead, a bedside toilet was installed with a restricted amount of paper. Because of her failing memory, Mother wipes herself as long as there are tissues, forgetting that she has already done so.
Several days ago she broke the disposable toilet bag into small pieces and scattered them all over the floor. As the bag was made of polymer composition, her clothes, the floor, bedding, and everything else in her room became crunchy and sticky. I called my sister, who lives in the immediate neighbourhood, for help. She soon came to my assistance, but it took hours to clean the room, and to clean Mother's body. This kind of event never happens in daytime when helpers are at home. This might be another proof that famous "Murphy's Law" is correct.
The development of Mother's symptoms of mental disturbance went from bad to worse. I used to ask a helper to come and take care of her while she was having her meals. One evening, a helper came to me, saying, "Aiko-sama is calling you. " When I went upstairs to see her, she asked me, "Are you the person who is always looking after me?" The helper and I looked at each other involuntarily, not knowing what she was trying to say and I couldn't understand. Mother also complained that I didn't give her a sleeping pill last night. She said she could not sleep well at night. This is not true; in fact, I never forget to give her a sleeping pill and to massage her shoulders and back, saying "good night, " before turning down the light in her room.
Around that time, Mother's behaviour began to ruin the health of the family, especially that of my daughter. As I had already been suffering from arrhythmia and had been taking medicine to be able to get to another world after having looked after Mother, I had been taking sleeping pills to help me to sleep deeply for a short period. While I was asleep, my daughter used to take care of Mother upstairs, and wake me up when necessary. However, Mother started suffering from sleeplessness, moving around in the room during the night. My daughter finally became immuno-suppressed and suffering from various complaints. I consulted Mother's doctor about her condition and asked for a stronger pill to make my mother sleep at night.
He said that he could prescribe stronger pills, but that we should not expect them to work, because, mentally disturbed people often didn't respond to those drugs. My sister had already concealed a calling bell under the carpet, and I periodically went upstairs to see what Mother was doing. There were no other options open to us. Mother did not respond to the new pills as expected. She had undergone surgery for breast cancer five year ago, and shortly afterward, she had been affected by an even greater shock when our eldest brother died from stomach cancer, after his surgery had been rejected. Since that time, Mother had been suffering from a very severe trigeminal neuralgia.
Soon, she had to have a trigeminal rhizotomy. Meanwhile, she had suffered many other problems, including severe haemorrhoids, diverticulitis and herpes infections. This made her unable to eat ordinary food, and she began to live on fluid meals. One Saturday afternoon, quite unexpectedly, she was suffering from an acute abdomen so I took her to a local hospital.
She was diagnosed as having peritonitis and immediately taken into hospital. There was no shared ward available at that time, so she was accommodated in the best single room of the hospital. However, I soon noticed that her nurse had long red manicured nails, and moreover a shower facility in the room worked only a couple of days a week. Mother's condition improved very rapidly, but, for a long period, there was almost no information about Mother's medical condition from the doctor in charge.
The doctor insisted that Mother's abdomen was still full of pus. The hospital was fortunately very near to Funabashi Station on the Keisei Line, so my brother often made a stop there on his way home from his office. My sisters-in-law also helped me a lot, taking turns with each other to visit Mother. The doctor explained that the drug he had prescribed had performed a miracle and Mother would recover without any complications.
However, we felt we had wasted too much money doing this. When Mother had acute recurrent symptoms several months later, I had no hesitation in taking her to another hospital to ask for help. Around this time, Mother began to show a strange behaviour pattern. She cut the tube of fluid delivery system with scissors, and become disorientated.
She was consequently restricted in her movements, was bound with a belt to the bed during the night or to the wheel chair in the daytime. Her stamina was astonishing, and she was released from the hospital a month later. However, she had begun to show a sign that her departure was nearing with saliva dribbling from her mouth all the time. Cutting a large piece of absorbent gauze into small pieces became her only pastime, and it looked as if she was doing this in a threatening way. An agonising decision All the family buckled down to take care of Mother, with the round-the-clock assistance of many helpers. However, the number of disturbing calls to my brother or sister to complain about the current situation increased day by day, and this could have bothered them a lot.
But they soon sympathized with me, and agreed to put Mother into a nursing facility. We started to find an appropriate facility for Mother with the help of a care manager, responsible for making such arrangements. As Mother has a specific digestive ailment, we had to find a hospital-type care centre. Both my friends and helpers gave me information concerning such facilities, but, some were too far away, and others too expensive. My sister made a call by chance to a nearby hospital and asked whether they could accept our mother.
They replied that we would have to arrange an interview with the hospital staff first, adding that it would cost about 800, 000 a month, including one-tenth of which must be paid by Mother as a recipient of services. At this point my brother stated that he must take the situation seriously now. He said that we should wait one more month, after which he would find a suitable place by one means or another. I told him that there was no time to lose and that this was a real cry for help from us. So, under the circumstances, there was no other way but to apply for an interview with the care facility. As a result, I met the staff of the hospital together with my husband and my sister.
They informed us that they could offer a better price, in view of our situation, stating furthermore that the present state of affairs was very understandable and that, to prevent the condition of the family from getting worse, they would consider whether they could accept Mother soon. The room charge might furthermore be reduced by 50 %. We considered this to be a most acceptable price, and completed the application form at once although we did not understand the whole system was all about. While waiting for their reply, we felt as if we were waiting for the result of a school entrance examination. Several days later, I got a call confirming Mother would be accommodated at the facility. The date of entry into hospital was fixed at December 12 th, 2003.
On the day before entry, Mother's grandson, Toramitsu, visited us, and spent a whole day with my mother. By that time, my sister and I had prepared all the things necessary for entry into hospital, labelling Mother's name on every article, filling in the forms of various documents. We were ready but nobody had any energy to cook dinner for my nephew who came to spend the whole day for my mother. We ordered a delivery service of sushi for dinner.
This should have been to celebrate my mother's new life. However, I felt something unusual. I felt heavy, and a bit feverish. When I noticed swollen lymph nodes on my neck, my blood froze. Hospitalisation On the morning of my mother's hospitalisation, I could not get up. My daughter took the day off from work, and took me to a local hospital.
A subsequent blood test revealed that I had a second mumps in my life. My husband drove Mother to the facility with my sister and her husband. Mother was accommodated in Room 410 on the 4 th floor of the hospital, a room next to the nurse station. I couldn't visit her for more than two weeks, during which, my sister went to see her almost every day, telling me in detail about Mother's condition on every occasion. Mother refused to eat meals complaining about a pain in the mouth, crying because she was feeling homesick, and finally they put her on intravenous infusion.
I was in two minds about what I should do, but there was nothing else I could do but to get completely recovered. My husband did a vast amount of the housework for me while I was in bed, and thanks to his devoted care, I got well in two weeks, and could visit Mother with him. Mother called me "Hamako, " my sister's name. She didn't like her room, and packed her belongings into her bag and made packages of many things around her bed. She asked me to send them home by express. I left the hospital with painful reluctance with my husband.
Miraculous New Year Party 2004 The end of each year is usually the busiest time for Japanese housewives. However, this year-end, I was extremely reluctant to prepare for the New Year but fortunately, my sister and her husband had been in the U. S. for more than 30 years, and have American nationality.
Consequently it is not their custom to celebrate the New Year as we do, and they didn't notice my reluctance to hold a New Year's party for the family. At this time, an emergency had arisen in my brother's family. The condition of my sister-in-law's mother suddenly changed, and she was taken into hospital all of a sudden. She had been suffering from duodenal cancer. Sao, my sister-in-law is an only child, and there is nobody else to take care of her mother.
I have two sisters-in-law, and since my own sister had been in New York for such a long time, these two sisters have helped me a lot when my mother was ill. I am afraid I depended on them too much. When I heard S...
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