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? The time came for her to be delivered. She gave birth to her first born son, wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in the manger, because there was no room for them in the inn? . These were the words that I had spoken during a church Christmas play while I was just about to see the light at the end of my elementary school career.
As I looked out into the faces of my family, I realized that I was making someone proud. I too was proud to have such a caring family whom I thought would be my strength throughout my life. Life has been so good to me thus far with wonderful parents, an older sister to whom I worshiped, and an older brother to keep me in tune with the magnificent world of child? s play pain and torture. Little did I know that all this happiness and perfect melody was going to come to an end, and terminate the only way of life I had known. At the young age of ten, my father had decided to leave home to pursue a life separate than that of which he had created with our family.
I do not believe that I put any blame on him for the drastic effect his leaving had on my life. However, the changes that I went through seemed to have been a direct result from this dramatic stress of knowing that my family would never again be the place of harmony that it once was. Shortly after I had received confirmation that my father was not going to return, this evidence coming from the sudden trips to the shrink, I seemed to become almost completely rebellious toward my mother, as if it had been her fault that I was put in this situation. My grades started to suffer significantly, my verbal communication seemed to worsen, and my overall obedience was at an unprecedented low.
I felt that it was my turn to be in control of my life regardless of what any other authority had to say. Little did I know this new way of life that I had deemed for myself would turn out to be my most serious downfall. A few years had past since my family had become a statistic, when my sister and brother left home on their way to their own goals in life. This new change produced even a greater effect on me than did the departure of my father. Now came the time where I decided if no one else had to stay in the family, neither did I. I took this opportunity to become closer to my friends and their families hoping to become more welcome there than I did at home.
It was not long after my constant deviation from what was left of my family that my mother decided she was going to keep me out of the house for extended periods of time. Now the time had come for me to really find my path in life. Several years later I had come to realize that the path I had chosen was going to be a long drug out process with no gratification, and no possible chance to better my self. Even though I was old enough to work now, my employments opportunities that were given to me did not last long. My relentless despise for authority had left me with termination from nearly every occupation that I had found.
I soon realized that I was running out of options, as well as sustainable cash, and that I would need to choose a brand new path that would carry me out for the rest of my life. Many times I had walked into the college campus with positive intent on enrolling to better my future. As it turned out, even after I actually started the registration process, I would be told I would not be able to attend due to the fact my mother was behind on a her taxes. However, by this time I was determined to become what everyone had previously told me that I could not, a success. It would be a couple more years passing by until I was afforded the opportunity to attend college.
By this time I had even managed to save up enough money to go with a friend to travel Scotland and spread his brothers ashes in the highlands. While there I had a chance to speak with several student from the college in Edinburgh. They seemed to be over joyous to be able to give advice to an American. I had never been faced with such an abundance of interesting and friendly people.
This too became another reason for me to better my life so as I would be able visit more cultures and communities in the future. So now it is my second year in college and I must say that I have not done too badly thus far. It may take me several years to accomplish my goals; nevertheless I? m proud to be able to say I have them. On the other hand, I may find that I will not be able to reach what I feel would be my final hurdle, but to know that I am trying is enough for me.
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