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Conflict is the interaction of interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals and interference from each other in achieving those goals. Conflicts occur in all social settings. Interpersonal conflict is a disagreement between or among connected individuals. Each persons position affects the other by emphasizing the transactional nature. How you view conflict can strongly affect the way you deal with it. For example, many people view conflict as always painful.
From this point of view, unless you enjoy being blamed, put down, and shouted at, its hard to be positive about conflicts; however, if you see conflict as something entirely negative, you will behave accordingly and will probably help create a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you believe its awful the worse it will get. Conflicts are often said to be beneficial. Some potential positive functions of conflicts: conflicts allow important issues to be aired; they produce new and creative ideas; they release built-up tension; they can strengthen relationships; they can cause groups and organizations to re-evaluate and clarify goals and missions; and they can also stimulate social change to eliminate inequities and injustices. These advantages are raised to justify a normal healthy occurrence and to stress the importance of understanding and handling it properly.
Everyone has conflicts and almost everyone readily acknowledges at least some benefits. Negative views of conflict tend to persist in the twists and turns of a specific case. Several features in common with destructive conflict that might easily turn in a destructive direction: First the situation the situation is tense and threatening. Even for old hands of negotiation, conflicts are often unpleasant and frightening.
Second, participants are experiencing a great deal of uncertainty. Conflicts are confusing; actions can have consequences quite different from those intended because the situation is more complicated then assumed. Third, the situation is extremely fragile. The conflict may evolve in very different ways depending on the behavior of just a single person. Sometimes we walk a tight rope throughout the conflict, yet we manage to avoid a fall. The tension, unpleasantness, uncertainty and fragility of the conflict situations make them hard to face.
Entering a conflict is often like making a bet against the odds; you can win big if the odds are in your favor, but so many things can go wrong that few people are willing to chance it. This is why we feel compelled to remind others of positive conflict outcomes because too often the destructive results are all we remember. The key to working through conflicts, is not to minimize its disadvantages, emphasize its positive functions, but to accept both and try to understand how conflicts move in destructive or productive directions. The most important feature of conflict is interaction. Conflict interactions take many forms, and each form presents special problems and requires special handling. The type of interaction that most of us our familiar with involves shouting matches and competition in which each party tries to defeat the other.
But conflicts can also be subtler. Most peoples reactions are to suppress it. They avoid confrontations either because they are afraid of possible changes that may result or because it simply isnt worth fighting over. This response is as much a part of the conflict process as the open struggle associated with conflict. In distinguishing the differences between productive and destructive conflict interactions.
One difference is that productive conflicts realistic, which means they focus on substantive problem the parties can potentially solve, while non realistic conflicts are mainly expressions of aggression designed to defeat or hurt the other. The attitudes and behaviors of productive conflict are flexible, while destructive ones are inflexible. Every move made in a conflict has impact on the other parties, and this is why conflicts often degenerate into destructive cycles of patterns. These cycles can only be thought of as unified wholes, and they can often be self-reinforcing. This means that, if you want to mange conflict effectively, you have to (1) look for the cycles, and (2) be willing and able to take unilateral action to break the destructive pattern. Defensive behavior usually occurs when you anticipate or perceive being threatened by a person or situation.
When any combination of the six defensive producing elements of evaluation, control, strategy, neutrality, superiority, and certainty is present, a spiral, usually begins, a spiral that starts with a little discomfort and often escalates into all-out conflict. On the other hand, you can also start a spiral in the other direction. The more supportive you can be, the less other people are likely to read into the situation distorted reactions created by their own defensiveness. You can help reduce defensiveness that is present when you manifest any combination of the six alternative attitudes and skills of description, problem orientation, spontaneity, empathy, equality, and provisional ism. You dont have to give up or give in. You just have to stop trying so hard to demean, control, and impose your hard- and- fast superiority on others.
By learning that sometimes it's our own transparently manipulative behavior that creates defensiveness in others, we are one step closer to communicating interpersonally. They could run the risk of miscalculation if the parties do not take into account the spirals. However, it is impossible to calculate all the possibilities. At best people have extremely limited knowledge of the implications their actions hold for others, and their ability to manage conflicts is therefore curtailed. To view communication as a people process rather than as a language process is one way to understand communication better. If we are to make fundamental improvements in communication, we must make changes in interpersonal relationships.
One possible type of alteration is that of reducing the degree of defensiveness. In correlation with the comparison between the way, that most conflicts are settled and the way spilled ketchup settles into carpet. An unclean carpet can triple in weight within a couple of years, and most relationships get so laden with undigested arguments that they collapse into a somber, angry stupor and cease to move toward their original goal. For the most part to merely resolve issues in the usual manner is as damaging to a relationship as not resolving it at all, because the gap is not truly bridged and the unsuccessful attempt merely adds more weight to the couples doubts about each other. Looking at this it is no wonder arguments create more problems than solved. The next important point is that the way discussions are carried out defines the quality of the couples relationship.
How an argument happens is more important than the outcome that emerges. The process is literally more important than the product. In order to be able to contrast the main features of productive and destructive conflict we have the seven magic rules for ruining any discussion that we all have probably used at one time or the other. They are bringing the matter up when at least one of you is angry, being as personal as possible when setting forth the problem, concentrating on getting what you want, instead of listening thinking only of what you will say next, Correcting anything your partner says about you, mentioning anything from the past that has a chance of making your partner defensive and ending by saying that will never be forgotten. For an issue to be resolved it must be passed through the five stages of preparing an argument. First, it must be thought of by at least one of the partners as an issue.
Second, a moment is chosen to bring the matter up. Third, a decision is made as to the manner in which it will be presented. Fourth, there is an exchange of thoughts and feelings. And fifth, the discussion is concluded.
You must become more conscious of the subjects you bring up so carelessly. Any sign of fear over what you are about to say is a very useful indicator. If you see you have a question about whether to say it, let this be your cue to break these preliminary choices into conscious steps. Remember instead how strongly you want to begin building a real friendship and do not begrudge the time. Most people are obsessed with identifying the culprit who is responsible for a dispute. However, determining who is at fault is an impossible task.
This process requires that identifying who and what...
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Research essay sample on Productive And Destructive Conflict Productive And Destructive Conflicts
