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by Closing Time Closing Time by Mike Loader R 1 / 2 and assorted characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. The song Closing Time is by Leonard Cohen; the cover of it upon which the fic is based is performed by Fairport Convention. I really dont think this is a good idea, you know. I mean, I am Akane's sister, and the wedding was just yesterday. A congratulatory party at the Ucchans, especially with the crowd thats been invited, is not going to be a happy event. Still someones got to keep an eye on these netball, and Ranma and Akane are, ah, busy.
And noisy. Anything to get out of the house; I think I prefered it when they were fighting. Whoever invented pet names should be shot. Yes, I know I use the name Kuno-chan all the time, but thats different. Im trying to be annoying. Ah, here we are whoops, drat.
Theres a big banner with CLOSING CELEBRATION over the door. Thats a shame; I liked eating here, and Ukyou could be profitable at times. Oh jeez, this is scary. Ukyou's grinning like a cheshire cat on happy pills, and Ryouga's in the corner hammering away at a piano and gulping something that could get you tipsy just by looking at it.
Kuno's trying to sharpen his broken. Shampoo and Kodachi are playing darts, and I have a nasty suspicion that I sold the picture of Akane thats taped to the dartboard. About the only two people in the room who arent about to go off like a firecracker are Happosai and Cologne, and even they seem subdued. Everyone in the room has a glass in at least one hand, and there have to be at least thirty empty bottles and glasses in pieces around the place. Oh boy, Ukyou's coming over. I can smell her breath from here; no wonder shes grinning.
How much have these people had to drink, anyway? Hey, Nabiki, nice to see you. Were, and her voice careens into the sing-song of the young or insane, Having a little party of Ranch and Akane, arent we? Theres a chorus of shouts in the affirmative, and someone throws a glass at her.
She doesnt even bother to dodge, and it shatters on the back of her head. Ow. Okay, this is freaking me out. I just stopped by to say hi, gotta be going, I say, backing towards the door.
Ukyou's hand on my shoulder refrains me. Oh crap. How about you stay and party with us, Big? Were gonna sing in just a second. I nod, more to keep her grip from breaking my shoulder than anything else. She shoves me into a chair next to Kuno, which is something of a relief, and goes over to Ryouga.
Theres some talk, and nodding, and the piano strikes up. Ukyou turns to the rest of the room, and grins. How many of you here know Closing Time? There are a surprising number of hands raised. Ukyou laughs, and I squirm in my seat, eyeing the door. Good, cuz Ukyou-kun here is gonna play it, and then thats the end of it.
Shouts and bottles are flung at her, along with a razor hoop from Kodachi. Ukyou tosses a chair at the Black Rose in responce, and picks up the portable karaoke microphone that she installed a month back. Huh. Looks like Kuno-chan brought his old guitar. I remember when he was actually kinda cool with that thing, before he started the whole Samurai Bob deal. Konatsu emerges from the back room with a fiddle, and I dont think I like this at all.
The music picks up, with Ukyou holding the microphone to the Lost Boy. Shes practically in his lap, but I dont think he notices. Well, now that shes started nibbling his ear I think he notices, but hes not paying her much heed. o/ Ah were drinking and were dancing and the band is really happening o/ o/ And the Johnny Walker wisdom's running high o/ Ryouga's got a low, kinda sad voice, not unpleasant.
Someone hands me a glass and I have a sip; cider spiked with something stronger. Ukyou is all over him at the moment; shes calling him Ranma but he doesnt seem to mind. I take another sip, well, more of a chug. Shampoo and Kodachi leave the dartboard and begin to waltz.
Kinda funny, actually. o/ And my very sweet companion shes the Angel of Compassion o/ o/ Shes rubbing half the world against her thigh o/ Year, if they get any closer theyll be screwing on the piano. Ive had enough of this kinda stuff with the newlywed rabbits back home. Ukyou's really lost it. o/ And every drinker every dancer lifts a happy face to thank her o/ o/ And the fiddler fiddles something so sublime o/ Konatsu and Kuno are really playing well together.
Hey, whats Ukyou doing oh jeez, there went her shirt. I dont know how Ryouga's still handling the piano with those things in his face, not to mention whats sitting in his lap. Kodachi and Shampoo stop waltzing together and take note of this. o/ And the women tear their blouses off o/ o/ And the men they dance on the polka-dots o/ Uh-oh, Kodachi and Shampoo have decided to follow Ukyou's example.
Great, Im stuck in a room full of half-naked drunks, and none of them are male. The old let just noticed this too. Looks like the Amazon and the gymnast are regretting their decision already. Damn. I dont like the way Konatsu is looking at Ukyou and Ryouga. Maybe I should be worried by the way the room is spinning?
Nah. Its good cider, think Ill have a bit more. o/ And its partner found and its partner lost o/ o/ And its hell to pay when the fiddler stops: o/ o/ Its closing time o/ The fiddle breaks over Ryouga's head, and he jumps up, spilling Ukyou on her butt. Looks like the fights on. Ukyou pouts and tosses the microphone to Kodachi, who grabs it and continues the song while punting Happosai off Shampoos chest. Who the hell invited him, anyway?
Maybe a bit more cider. My glass seems to be empty. o/ Ah were lonely, were romantic and the ciders spiked with acid o/ o/ And the Holy Spirits crying, Wheres the beef? o/ Funny, funny, you know. I bet the song just says that, but it really would explain all the pretty colors in the room. Ah, hell with it, more cider.
My glass is empty, but theres a bowl of the stuff next to this pouch of Kodachi's. Boy, Kuno-chan can play. I move my chair a bit closer to him to hear better. o/ And the moon is swimming naked and the summer night is fragrant o/ o/ With a mighty expectation of relief o/ o/ So we struggle and we stagger down the snakes and up the ladder o/ Ryouga throws Konatsu through a wall, and returns to the piano. Ukyou gloms on to him about halfway there, and starts trying to peel his shirt off.
Shes got a sorta desperate look in her eyes. I lean against Kuno, who really is very good with that guitar. I wish hed play more often. Kodachi hands the microphone to Shampoo, and proceeds to try to dice Happosai. o/ To the tower where the blessed hours chime o/ o/ And I swear it happened just like this: A sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss o/ o/ The Gates of Love they budged an inch o/ o/ And I cant say much has happened since o/ o/ But Closing Time o/ I almost feel sorry for Shampoo; you can hear the sheer wretchedness in her voice. She was the one who stumbled upon Ranma and Akane's little intimate workout on top of the Furinkan clock tower.
After that, well there really wasnt much point in trying to win him. The wedding was a week later. Funny that she isnt dropping the words. Aah, who cares.
I think Ill lean on Kuno-chan a bit more. Kodachi lets loose a hail of clubs and razors. She doesnt hit Happosai, but she sure does a number on the counter and wall. Hey, this is good cider. I hope my glass doesnt run out soon. o/ I loved you for your beauty but that doesnt make a fool of me: o/ o/ You were in it for your beauty too o/ o/ And I loved you for your body o/ o/ Theres a voice that sounds like God to me o/ o/ Declaring that your bodys really you o/ Happosai lets off a bomb, blowing a wall out and knocking Kodachi across the room.
A bit of the ceiling falls in. Another bit of wall breaks as Konatsu staggers in from the alley. He gives a shriek of rage at hey, Ukyou and Ryouga are really getting it on! Well sorta. Ukyou's slurring Ranma's name even as she tries to unfasten his pants, and Ryouga seems almost oblivious to the fact that a half-naked woman is rubbing herself against him. Wonder where he learned to play piano.
Konatsu's not a music lover; he tackles the Lost Boy yet again. Which send Ukyou to the floor yet again. She giggles drunkenly jeez, this is kinda sad and crawls over to take the microphone from Shampoo. Good timing; Shampoos busy trying to nail Happosai. Her bonbon are making new windows in interesting places. o/ And I loved you when our love was blessed o/ o/ And I love you now theres nothing left o/ o/ But sorrow and a sense of overtime o/ Ukyou's crying now.
I cry too. So sad. Kuno is nice enough to slip a free arm around me, and I kiss him as a way of saying thank you. Ooooh, look at the pretty colors dance! More cider! Another bit of ceiling falls in as Shampoos bonbon gets in a few hits on the support beams.
Happosai throws another bomb, and oh, that was the grill! Pretty fire! Konatsu's trying to twist Ryouga's head off. Meany.
o/ And I missed you since the place got wrecked o/ o/ And I just dont care what happens next o/ o/ Looks like freedom but it feels like death o/ o/ Its something in between, I guess o/ o/ Its Closing Time o/ Ukyou bursts out into tears, and I do too. Poor Ukyou. Maybe she can stay with us. Or maybe not. The pretty colors are getting me confused. Maybe more cider will help.
Tossing the microphone to Happosai, whos just thrown Shampoo into the ceiling, Ukyou walks over and hey! Shes hugging Kuno-chan! Id better punch her. Ow.
My hand hurts now. Should I pour cider on it? Nah, will drink it instead. I climb into Kuno's lap and watch the flames from the grill begin to devour the wall. Pretty. o/ Yeah were drinking and were dancing but theres nothing really happening o/ o/ And the place is dead as Heaven on a Saturday night o/ o/ And my very close companion gets me fumbling gets me laughing o/ o/ Shes a hundred but shes wearing something tight o/ Happosai sidles over to Cologne, still singing, and tries to cop a feel.
He must really be drunk. I laugh. Cologne doesnt see to mind much. She must really be drunk too.
I laugh again. Things are awfully funny for some reason. She does take the microphone from him, looks sadly at Shampoo, and raises a glass. Ukyou staggers over to Ryouga, whos back on the piano. Konatsu's sticking out of the wall. Guess Ryouga won.
o/ And I lift my glass to the Awful Truth o/ o/ Which you cant reveal to the Ears of Youth o/ o/ Except to say it isnt worth a dime o/ She shakes her head and unsteadily leaves, after handing me the microphone. Guess she put a lot of effort into Ranma. Not as much as Akane did, though! Hehe! Ooo, I get to sing! Goody!
Maybe someone will give me Yen. Or cider. I like cider. The room is blurring. o/ And the whole damn place goes crazy twice o/ Shampoo is bawling, Kodachi is nailing up a picture of Ranma, and Ukyou is sobbing her eyes out and trying to remove the tattered remains of Ryouga's clothing. Ryouga is glowing a little.
So is the fire thats eating the back room. o/ And its once for the Devil o/ Kodachi flings a razor hoop at Akane's picture, cutting it in half. Was a good picture too. Boy, Kuno-chan can play. Hes cute, too. o/ And once for the Christ o/ Ranma's picture gets the same treatment.
Ryouga's really glowing. I would be too, if I were him and Ukyou were doing what shes going. Aw, I wanna hug Kuno-chan cause hes cute. And drink some more cider. Ill throw the microphone to Konatsu. o/ But the Boss dont like these dizzy heights o/ o/ Were busted in the blinding lights o/ A bit of the roof collapses in flames.
I dont know which is brighter, the fire or Ryouga. Pretty colors. Are those sirens outside? Ryouga stands, Ukyou falling away in a nude, sobbing heap, and starts to yell something. I close my eyes.
The glare is too strong, and I think Ill go to sleep now. Kuno-chan makes a nice pillow. Roar, light, black. o/ Of Closing Time. o/ 320
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