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Every person has the need for definition of personal values, priorities and meaning of life. It is one of the persons major needs. In young age this necessity is realized especially strongly. The peculiarities of the development of the personality depend on economic and cultural level of development of a society in which the child grows, on the historical stage of this development.
Development of a person and formation of a scale of vital values is defined by what the family and a society expect from him, what problems face to him during the different age periods. For me the basic universal values are the family, health, education, work. They are the values of the modern society. The universal values are closely connected to my personal values which can be divided conditionally into material and moral. Realization of all these values is necessary for self-affirmation and recognition of the person. Each person prefers that or other values.
It is possible to judge his choice by richness or scarcity of a private world, to a variety of interests, unique human individuality. During all his life the person forms the outlook, a way of life. His environment (family, friends) and also various national, religious and social views and traditions plays a significant role in this process. The moment of formation of own scale of values at teenage age is very important. As for me, I was brought up by a single mother but had my grandparents living not far from our house. Since the early childhood I felt that my mother was missing something important for women the family.
Also I saw the example of the family looking at my grandparents. So I decided to build a family first of all, first of a carrier and other things that seemed not so important to me. Now I have been married for fifteen years and have three sons. For the teenager vital values are perceived only in a personal, concrete embodiment. This feature comes so far, that value which it searches and finds is completely identified for him with the alive person in whom he sees it embodied.
The belief of the teenager in an ideal is first of all the belief in the person elected by him which he chose from his environment. It can be a member of family, the teacher, someone from contemporaries. If this person does not justify that belief, all ideal world can be destroyed. As for me, I was happy to have my grandfather, strong and intelligent man as a person whom I wanted to look like. That is why surrounding is very important for the teenager during this difficult period. Unfortunately, the behavior of adults very often differs from those moralizing conversations which they conduct with teenagers. " Do what I say " - such a stereotype of education is not proper for the teenager. " Do what I do" - this should become a moral basis of dialogue and work of the adult with the teenager. " The Life of each person consists of acts, in which the moral essence of the person is expressed, - the famous scientist said.
The nearest social environment, parents and other members of family, later tutors of a kinder garden and school teachers (sometimes friends of the family or the priest) directly influence the development of childs mentality. It is necessary to note, that after a number of years the surrounding extends: from the end of the preschool childhood contemporaries start to influence development of a child, and at teenage and senior school age some social groups: mass media, the organization of meetings, sermons in religious communities can influence it essentially. The formation of the own scale of values occurs already at early age. That is why it is important, in what family the child is brought up. Valuable orientations of the teenager, understanding of social problems, moral estimations of events and acts depend first of all on parents. If happy minutes in family are connected only with purchases and accumulation, it is difficult for child to become happy in the future.
Material needs are boundless, and the impossibility to satisfy them can turn back tragedy. I was happy to grow up in family of my mother and grandparents where they valued high the cultural wealth. If in the family the cultural wealth, for example mutual support, kindness, honesty, pleasure of communication with each other, need to give instead of to take prevail, the child will hardly feel lonely and the underdog in the future. The habit to take pleasure in dialogue with the nature, music, works of art and the good book, generated in the childhood will allow young people to hold on and make correct decisions in the most difficult situations of life. The most important for the teenager is a confidence that he is loved by the parents that adults see in him the advantages, and not just lacks. It is necessary to remember, that only the love of relatives will help the maturing child to overcome a painful transition period of adolescence when a teenager becomes uncontrollable.
In order to make the teenager address to parents or to teachers for the help and advice in complex vital situations, it is necessary for adult to realize, that since the earliest childhood the child is the person and the childs troubles which seem to adults a trifle, seems to him serious and are overcome very sharply and emotionally. The position of adults in this situation is very important for the future contacts and creation of the atmosphere of trust between the child and the adult... It is very important, that the child understood that he is individual and valuable as a person for parents and people around him The self-esteem will allow the teenager to say "no" in situations, when it is necessary, especially if it is connected to his sexual behavior during puberty. Self-checking, self-discipline plays the important role in human life. It is a mistake to consider self-checking as restriction of freedom. During our life we should make many various decisions, for example concerning education, a choice of friends, family and personal problems.
I remember how difficult it was for me at the beginning. The person begins to learn it in the early childhood, and at teenage age he already tries to solve the problems himself. But because of the lack of experience he often suffers failures or makes mistakes which are difficult to correct. Teenagers are inclined to concentrate on the nearest results of the decisions whereas parents give more attention to their consequences in the future. While the majority of acts are related only to the teenager and not to people around him, it is easier for him to cope with problems. The teenager can already estimate a situation, make the decision, take into account consequences, understand the responsibility in face of himself and other people, assess the acts for own self-education that helps him to cope with the difficult situations in future.
He is learning to do this all the time. Decision-making is closely connected to the responsibility. Teenagers want to have freedom, not yet understanding, that freedom is inextricably related to the responsibility. Freedom and the responsibility are closely connected...
Freedom at all does not mean that it is possible to do everything that you want. Such freedom can be called permissiveness, anarchy. Unfortunately in present society anarchy became popular and we hear from a teenager very often: I am an anarchist I think that we must fight with it. Freedom is positive when a person takes into account consequences of the acts, their influence other people. For the long history of human society basic universal values and norms of moral behavior were defined. Kindness, fidelity, honesty, mutual aid were always appreciated in a society and cynicism, deceit, greed, vanity, crimes were rejected.
I think that it will always be so because no matter what differences our future can bring us; these values will not be changed. Bibliography John L. Chosen, Psychology (London: Allen and Unwin, 2002) Patricia Greene The family and the child New York, 2003
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