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Fifty-two babies will never meet their dads because of the tragic events that occurred on September 11, 2001. This horrible event shattered the lives of many people. What would have been families, no longer exist. The challenge of raising a baby is now in the hands of the wives who lost their husbands. Women are faced with the task of raising children with out the partners they assumed would always be there. How will these children grow up without a father?
How can the mothers assure their babies a normal childhood? I believe these questions can be answered with the use of three family strengths; Communication, Shift in Responsibility, and Support from family and friends. The first challenge in any family is to establish communication. This is especially true for families with a deceased parent. According to Benokraitis (2000) children around the ages of eleven and twelve start withholding private thoughts and feelings from their parents because they fear rejection.
It is important for the parent not to react with any putdowns or sarcasm. Having an absentee father is a difficult situation for any child to be born into; therefore communication is essential in maintaining family structure. Children are going to have questions about their fathers and why they arent around anymore. According to Peoples Magazine (February 2002), mothers dont want their children to feel or see their sadness. Women now have to learn small and large chores. The same chores their husbands took care of on a regular basis.
Things like applying for charity reliefs, making mortgage payments, finding a job, and arranging for childcare, are jobs the mother is now faced with. One family strength that helps out is shifting some of the responsibility to an older child. According to People Magazine (February 2002), Jeannine McIntyre, wife of Donald McIntyre, says her children are eager to comfort the newly born baby. Gigi Nelson, wife of Peter Nelson, says that her thirteen and ten year old children have promised to teach their baby sister everything their father taught them-especially soccer (Peoples Magazine, February 2002, p. 52). Shifting some of the responsibility to the older children and taking some of the stress form the mother is an ideal situation for any family. Support from family and friends is the third strength that would help to sustain a family.
The amount of support that each and every victims family has received has been remarkable. According to Peoples Magazine (February 2002) kids from around the world sent Jenna Jacobs 2, 000 cards and letters. Dena Smagala, as well as many other of the mothers dealing with this tragedy have received ornaments and other gifts from children all over the U. S. Support from the extended family is much needed as well.
It is important for the entire family to come together and comfort the children and wife of the deceased. The loss of a loved one is always hard, especially when they are so young. Undoubtedly the grief and mourning each family of the victims is going through is unmeasurable. There are only three ways a family can get through a tragedy such as this. There needs to be communication between the children and mother, there needs to be responsibilities divided among the older children, and there needs to be support from friends and the extended family to provide emotional and physical support.
If a family truly commits to these three strengths I believe the family will triumph.
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Research essay sample on Family And Friends Older Children