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We have been recently studying the country of Africa and one aspect that I have found rather interesting is how commonly polygamous marriages are practiced there. We were able to understand these situations in better detail from studying Things Fall Apart and reading about Okonkwos many wives and his different relationship with each one of them. I was unaware of the fact that this is also taking place in the United States before reading the article, My Husbands Nine Wives, written by Elizabeth Joseph. However this may not be as ordinary in our country, it does still take place. Joseph states that a plural marriage is not for everyone, and I dont know if myself being a psychology major has any relation to this, but I dont think that this type of marriage is healthy for anyone. In parts of Africa, polygamy is not only accepted as a part of the culture but it is encouraged.
The men are impelled to have as many wives as possible, because the more wives, the more respect that they receive. Although this oddity is practiced so commonly, it is only the males who take part in these traditions; females are not permitted to have more than one husband. Not only are these wives required to know about each other, but they grow to become friends and help each other raise one another's children as if they are one big family. This may take place in other parts of the United States, but as for the society that we live in, this behavior is both unacceptable and against most of our religions. Imagine sharing a husband with four other women and actually living in a house with one of them and her children?
How could it possibly be healthy to have to make an appointment with the person that you love when you are longing for intimacy and comfort? A person needs to feel a sense of companionship and I find it very difficult for a woman to do this while her husband must distribute this to a number of other women as well. A feeling of jealousy is only natural, and I think that it is highly unlikely for this not to transpire among the women. In the article, Joseph suggests that this plural marriage provides the solution for women to fully meet their career, motherhood, and marriage obligations. I consider this more of a womans easy way out of a difficult situation. This demonstrates to the children in the family that the men occupy the more dominant character because they are permitted to marry as many women as they desire.
Not only are the women not allowed to do the same, but each one of these women work out arrangements with the others to fit themselves into their husbands busy schedule. The female reveals herself to be extremely contingent under these circumstances because she is agreeing to share an intimate relationship with a number of other women who mean nothing to her. Marriage is supposed to be two people that love each other so much that they decide to spend the rest of their lives together, in which they should be there for each other through anything and everything. In this situation the husband constantly has a wife to be there for him but she is limited to the time for when she needs someone. Elizabeth Joseph finds polygamy to be good feminism, I find it to be the complete opposite. This is not an example of an independent woman; it is an example of a woman partaking in a one-sided relationship that is beneficial to simply the husband.
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