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1 st September: Today? ? was? an? action? packed?
day, ? today? is? the? day before? I?
go? away. I? was?
expecting? visitors? but? there? was? a?
few? surprises? too. ? first? of?
all? there? was? Master? Boyle, Canon? Mick O?
Byrne, the? lads? and? of? course, ? how?
could? I? forget? the? love?
of? my? life, ? Kathy. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? I? ? can?
t? believe? it, ? tomorrow?
I? am? going? to? Philadelphia? I?
can? t? wait? or? can? I?
I? want? to? go? and? I?
want? to? stay, ? I? want? to?
stay? because? ? ? I? don?
t? know? I? just? want?
another? chance? with? kathy? and? I?
also? want? to? be? able? to?
speak? to? and? see? Kathy, but? in?
Philadelphia? that? is? not? the?
case, I? wish? I? could?
turn? back? time, but? I?
know? as? well? as? Kathy? that?
there? will? never? be?
another? us. I? want?
to? get? to? Philadelphia? because? I?
can? escape? my? past? I? can?
turn? a? new? leaf, I?
can? start? from? scratch, ? I?
can? get? another? chance? to? start?
a? new? life, ? sounds? good! ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Tomorrow?
my? da? has? to? say? something.
Doesn? t? he? Why? does?
he? try? ? to? wipe?
out? any? thoughts? of? ? happiness? we?
ever? had. Today? for?
example? I? remembered? one? of? the?
happiest? moments? my? father? and?
I? ? ever? had. I?
remembered? we? were? in? a?
blue? fishing? boat? which? my? father?
owned? and? we? were? fishing?
and we? were? actually? talking? to? each?
other, and? when? I? questioned?
him? about? it? he? brushed? it?
away? as? if? he? didn? t?
know, ? but? something? tells?
me? that? he? does, ? there?
is? a? reason? why? he? isn?
t? talking? to? me. It? is?
as? if? I? ve done? something? to?
hurt? him? but? it? is?
nothing? I? can? fix? because? he?
won? t? tell me? what? it? is.
I? care? for? him? but? I?
am? not? sure? that? he? loves?
me, ? he? has? to? say? something?
tomorrow? to? prove? me? wrong. ? ? ? ? ? Today?
Madge? organised? for? ? the?
lads? ? and? my? so? called? friends?
to? come? to? my? house? to?
bid? me? farewell, ? that? is? all?
well? and? good? but? would? they?
have? come? if? Madge? ?
hadn? t? told? them?
to. Joe? ? he? might?
have? came? to? me? he? is?
the? only? one? of? them? I?
truly? like. Ned? is? a? liar?
and? Tom? is? a? looks?
up? to? Ned? and? worships?
the? ground? that? he?
walks? on. Joe? like?
me? is? a? realist? he? knows?
that? all? of? us?
are? virgins? and? he? does? not?
believe? Tom? s? lies? for? one?
second. ? ? ? ? ? Going? to? Philadelphia? could? make?
or? break? my? life? it?
could? be? a? disaster? or? a?
success. I? just? hope? it?
is? the? right? decision? because?
if? it? is? not? there?
is? no? way? back. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Master? Boyle? called? round? for? me?
today, he? was? giving? me? advise?
and? he? was? wishing?
me? luck, he? is? a? good?
man? at? heart. Master? and? I? ?
get? on? well, ? I? seem? to?
be? his? only? friend, the?
only? one? he? can? talk? to.
God? bless him. Today? he? expressed? his?
feelings? for me, at? first? I? was?
shocked? but? I? realised? that? he?
did? not? want? me? to? leave.
I? am? the? only? one?
he? can? turn? to? and?
now? I? am? leaving; His? hug? was?
the? first? time? I? had? been?
hugged? by? a? man?
in? actually? I? can? t? remember?
any? man? hugging? me?
before? not? even? my?
dad. That? is? a? sad? story?
and? sometimes? I? used? to? cry?
because? my? dad? didn?
t? treat? me? as?
a? son, ? he? didn? t? hug?
me and? he? didn? t?
spend? time? with? me, didn? t? take?
me? out? and? didn? t? tell?
me? a? night time? ? story?
like? the? other? boys? dads. I?
used? to? stay? awake? with? my?
book? hoping? that? he? would? come?
in? to? read? me? to? sleep?
instead? I? cried myself? to?
sleep? quietly. Today? still, ? he? doesn?
t? treat? me? as?
his? son. ? ? ? ? ? To? finish?
of? the? day? Katherine?
Doogan? or? should? I? say? Katherine?
King? called? round? for?
me, I? was? stunned? when?
I? opened? the? door? I? just?
froze? it? was? the? last?
thing? I? was? expecting.
We? ? talked? for? a? while? a?
and? as? usual? I?
talked? a? load? of? rubbish. I?
still? love? Kate? and?
the? thing? I? would? want? more?
than? anything? is? to? be?
with? Kathy, my? darling? Kathy. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? So? diary?
that? was? my? day?
I? think? this? is? the?
longest? thing? I? have? written? in?
this? diary, well? it? is? not?
a? surprise? because? I? had? so?
many? visitors? today? and? that? was?
because? ? today? is? the?
eve? of? my departure. Well?
diary? if? I? ever? write? in?
you? again? it? will?
be? in? Philadelphia. Well? ? time? for?
bed? I? have? an? early? start?
tomorrow, ? goodbye? Ballybeg, goodbye? lads, goodbye? Madge, goodbye? Boyle, goodbye?
Father? and? goodbye? my? darling, my?
love, my? Kathy? ... ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
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