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The sense of dark nothingness consumed the thoughts of Joey and his friends. This sense was so strong that it could blanket towns with one blow, destroying everything that everyone knew and loved. However, it was just a picture, a picture filled with the devilish image itself of hate, death, and destruction, but still it was a picture. All they could see was different shades of colors twisted into many different figures. However, these figures were no regular figures, there was something odd about them indeed.
The strange and marvelous thing about it is that these figures never have the same appearance twice. It must have been an optical illusion or something, but it was true art. The mere touch of oil paints to a canvas opened up so many ways of interpretation. The possibilities were endless and the thought behind it was too. And worst of all, neither he nor his two friends could even begin to comprehend the meaning of such magnificent artwork. All it was to Joey and his friends was colored blotches on paper, but what do you really expect from these kids.
They were just three simple kids fifteen almost sixteen years old, sophomores in high school. The funny thing was that this picture, stupefied, almost scared them because they finally had met something that they could not explain in a lie, or truth. The picture was just too complicated for their simple minds. These kids, especially Joey, would never be the same because, even though, they felt stupid at this moment, they would make sure that it would never happen again. They all left the museum at about four o clock. Joey split up from his friends on the corner of Park Avenue and Forty-second Street.
He slid his Metro card through the slot and went through the turn-style. He boarded the train and rode to Canal Street. After that he walked home. It was about six-thirty when he got home. He did his usual routine, got something to eat, took a shower, did his work, watched some TV, and so on. Then, at eight-thirty he got a call and it was one of those normal calls he got on a Friday night from a friend asking him to go out and chill with his friends.
He gladly accepted and said he would meet his friends in one hour. When he told his friends that he needed only hour to meet them, he made himself seem imperturbable and cool. However, it was no more than a disguise he put on to show to his friends. He was actually just as insecure as any other teenager. It took him a long time to find clothes that went with his light brown hair, short stature, and muscular build. He spent a lot of time looking through his limited collection of clothes in search of the perfect combination of clothes.
He had to find a tee shirt and sweater that showed he was muscular. After he found his outfit, he had to look in the mirror to see if it was perfection. He looked and saw a handsome blue-eyed, brown hair kid. At that moment he was ready to go. So he called his friends on his cell and began to walk to meet them. During his walk he thought of many things, about school, about his friends, and most of all, about what was entailed for tonight.
He was very organized and well planned in thinking about what he wanted to do tonight. He first thought that he would get something to eat with his friends. Then, he would go see a movie with them. However, those were not really what he had on his mind.
He was just trying to think of other things besides the main reason he came. In all actuality, he came because he wanted to see the girl that he had a crush for the last couple of months. He thought that this would be the perfect opportunity for him to tell her what he was thinking. That night he managed to get his feelings out, for the most part, into words.
Luckily, she took those words well and wanted what he did. After he realized that he accomplished what he wanted, he walked home in a trance thinking about what lay ahead. He thought of this girl and her beauty, everything about her image. Then his thoughts turned into her personality, smarts, attitude, and so on.
It all came in different stages, but when he looked back on it the next day, it was one big image of this beautiful girl that seemed to be all he could ever want. However, besides her, one other thing pervaded his mind and it was the question why would she ever want me? Over the next weeks many things took place, many phone calls, and many meetings. He was now thinking about her even more than he was at first. However, now it was different because he had no doubt in his mind about whether she liked him back. He knew it, trusted it, and enjoyed the security of her liking him back.
It took a little while but he built up the courage to ask her out. Nevertheless, he could not straight out ask her because his heart would break if he was rejected. This brought on sessions of contradictory thought. He began to say, if she will reject me then maybe I don t like her that much. He tried to think of the best bullshit response ever, but none of them could stop him from having that feeling for her. It drove him crazy and he could not stand it, just like the picture at the museum.
Another week past and he did not call her. He broke off communication and drowned himself in sorrow because he thought it was easier to handle than the feeling of uncertainty. Then, suddenly the phone rang but it was not the call that he was expecting, it was not a friend wanting to chill. It was that girl that he had so rudely dismissed. He picked up the phone. Hello, he said.
Hey, what happened to you? You never called me back. The girl said. Well, I was going to but I forgot.
Anyway, I want to tell you something. We cannot talk anymore. He said. Why?
the girl said. I don t know, but it s over he said, then he hung up the phone. It was ironic how in such a short and simple existence someone could have so many problems. However, who caused these paradoxes?
Why could Joey not be content with not being able to give an explanation? Joey and his friends could not come up with an explanation for the painting in the museum and Joey could not come up with an explanation for his love of this girl. Both times he looked for a common ground to create a jargon response explaining the meaning behind both. However, he was unsuccessful both times for the same reason, there is no meaning that can be found behind either. That was why Joey got scared both times and ran away from not having an easy answer. He was too insecure and terrified to handle this feeling of not knowing.
Joey hated seeing himself as weak because he knew his friends would irk him and say cruel things like all teenagers do. In each one of these instances in Joey s life, he needed an answer because he had to be in control. This was a problem that showed up in Joey s everyday life many times. Each time he got a little bit better at handling it. Maybe as he gets older, he will learn to deal with these feelings in better ways. However, this is just the normal development of a teenage kid.
Maybe someday he will be successful for not being able to take risks, who knows? All that I know is you got to work on accepting that feeling, dealing with that feeling because in life there are many things that you cannot explain or give reason. If you go on rejecting, hating everything that gives you this feeling, you are not really living your life to the fullest extent. Joey may be having trouble learning how to deal with this kind of stuff now. However, if he does not learn how to deal with it in the future, he will end up being one unhappy, unfulfilled man, running from every awkward situation put in his way.
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