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The Family Even today, being a woman itself is a disadvantage in most contemporary society. Women are not allowed to make the first move on men, or we would have been seen as easy. A single woman with power in a company is likely to be laughed at for being too unfeminine to be liked by any man. A single woman is always pressured to find herself a man and settle down, even if that is not what she wants. It is often assumed that women need to feel secure and a woman who does not marry is deemed to be daring insecurity.
However, finding a man and settling down may be the worst decision she will ever make, for it would change her life forever and not necessarily for the better. Housework has always been thought of as the work of women for many years now. This is a role assigned to women by society because of their sex. We have from the time of our birth been guided towards roles designated for our particular sexes by parents, teachers, our peers, the media and even the law. It is sometimes held that sex roles are inevitable due to the different psychology of females and males.
John Stuart Mill clearly explains how the subjection of women came about in this sentence, It arose from the fact that from the very earliest twilight of human society, every woman (owing to the value attached to her by men, combined with her inferiority in muscular strength) was found in a state of bondage to some man. (Feminist Frameworks, 1984) Thus the subjection of women was not a calculated move towards efficiency or happiness, except towards the happiness of men. The written word has, however, molded and sculpted todays society so particular emphasis is placed on writings since the inclusion of womens voice in history means that, the adult white male can no longer be taken to represent all of humanity nor the adult white male experience to encompass all that is important to human life. (Jaggar, 22). One might suggest that due to modern advancement in technology, the burden of a housewife is lessened. Modern technology indeed made many chores much easier then it was before, however, it was the men who were saved by these technologies while women remained as burdened. For example, with the invention of the washing machine, the effort in washing clothes has been reduced, but the time devoted to washing clothes has increased. Apparently this is due to people having more clothes and washing them more frequently.
The iron stove allows more food to be cooked at one time with one fire and thus women tend to cook more food in terms of both variety and quantity. What the iron stove does is save the men from chopping wood for the fire which was previously needed to cook food. In the 1920 s, women could do their shopping from home with regular visitations from ice-men, butchers, grocers and greengrocers and they might even order their groceries by mail and have the men or the boys collect them. Today, with the invention of the modern supermarket and the spread of car ownership, women spent more time traveling and shopping in the supermarkets for necessities. It has been estimated that women today spend a full day per week traveling and shopping as compared to less than 2 hours per week women spent in the 1920 s. (Working Life, 1990) In contemporary society where nuclear families prevail, being a housewife means that one is subjected to isolation and as such, loneliness arises.
Children spend most of their lives in schools and husbands spend most of theirs at work. With the exclusion of outsiders, this leaves the housewife alone at home, cleaning, cooking and tidying, making sure that her family may return to suitably comfortable home where they would then be served dinner. The housewifes only wish is that her family spends time with her as she is significant only in relation to them. Even then, her family may not provide the source of comfort that she seeks. In Nancy Chodorow's essay Family Structure and Feminine Personality she examines the development of gender identity and personality. Except for the stereotypical examples I have given above which again are established by the parents, Chodorow states that the development of a child is basically the same for boys and girls until the age of three.
During those first three years the mother is the dominant figure in the child's life. The father plays a limited role until the child reaches the so called oedipal period (beyond age 3). It is at this stage that children begin to try to separate themselves from the clutches of their mother and establish their own identity. Chodorow examines how different this is for boys and girls.
Chodorow writes that a young boy is usually unable to identify with his masculinity through his father. The father isnt as readily available to the boy as the mother. Without the father to follow example, Chodorow concludes that a boy will identify masculine characteristics be doing that which is not feminine. This could be an explanation for the big difference in the number of chores the girls d o versus the boys.
Though you might disagree with the morality of this statement, you have to admit that it is socially accepted that household chores are feminine duties. Young boys are bound to realize this and following Chodorow's theory, will refuse to perform a lot of chores in an attempt to become more masculine. A woman with children is often reluctant to leave the house and her children even when assaulted. As such wife battery is a very common phenomenon and one that is very difficult to control. In Singapore, the law provides only superficial help to battered wives and only when the situation has gone out of hand. A woman may take out an injunction to keep her husband out of the home if she could prove that he was battering her.
However, the law in Singapore is such that a husband may be kept out of his home for a maximum of 2 months. The rationale behind this is the assumption that the husband is the breadwinner and the owner of the house and thus should not be kept away from his home for too long. Wife battery occurs in many households in Singapore, but few complaints were ever made. This is because most Asians do not believe in washing their dirty laundry in public and would rather suffer in silence. A survey held in Victoria in 1986 shows that the lack of personal income ranks tops amongst the difficulties experienced as a housewife. This was followed by the lack of status, the lack of leisure and social isolation. (Households Work, 1989) As a full time housewife, a woman has got no money of her own.
What she gets depends on the generosity of her husband and frequently, this amount covers only the necessary household expenses. In some cases, husbands give their wives their full pay packet and get an allowance from it. Although this may seem fair and generous from the surface, the amount left with the housewife is usually spent on household expenses while the husbands allowance is for his own personal usage. Another system commonly used is one whereby the housewife is given a household allowance.
If the housewife desires anything, she can either save up from the household allowance or ask her husband for more money. In cases where the husbands wage is paid to the bank account, he takes over some of the household expenses like paying utility bills and rent. The housewife would then be given a smaller sum to cover household shopping or the couple may shop together and the groceries would be paid for by the husband. In extreme cases, the housewife may be given only food and shelter and is expected to be content. From the above, one may think that the problems of housewives may be solved by acquiring paid employment. It may solve the problems of isolation and lack of personal income, but it doesnt make marriage any easier for a woman.
One would expect that housework be shared equally if both husband and wife were in paid employment. However, a recent study conducted in the United States show that in households where both husband and wife are in paid employment, men spend about eleven hours a week while women still spend about thirty five hours a week on housework. (The Double Life of the Family, 1997) For a housewife, her primary joy in life would be to serve her family. From when her children were young, she takes care of them and makes sure that the house is comfortable enough for her husband to retire to. For the majority of her life, she spends bringing up her children, disciplining them, teaching them and feeding them. When her children are old enough to leave home, she might still have to cook and clean for her husband.
From the time she actually retires to the time of her death, how many years would be left for her to actually enjoy? And what does the housewife gain from all her work? Not money, not fame, sometimes not even appreciation and definitely no recognition from the government. To eliminate oppression in marriage, peoples mentality towards women in general would have to be changed. To do this would not be an easy task, but much change has taken place since the formation of the first feminist group.
Perhaps in future, true sexual equality might actually exist. Bibliography: Carol Adams and Rae Lorikeets (1976), The Gender Trap Book 2 VIRAGO Ltd, London. Germaine Greer (1971), The Female Eunuch. Love and Hate. Compton Printing Ltd, London and Aylesbury. Belinda Robert (1990), Working Life.
Housework as a female occupation. Penguin Books Australia Ltd, Australia. Michele Barrett and Mary McIntosh (1982), The anti- social family. Hartford Press Ltd, London.
D. Ironmonger and Mary Draper (1989), Households Work Households and the household economy and Women in the home. Allen & Unwin, Australia. Marilyn Warring (1993), Counting for Nothing Prologue and A womans reckoning. Allen & Unwin New Zealand Ltd, New Zealand.
A. M. Jaggar and P. S. Rothenberg (1984), Feminist Frameworks. McGraw Hill Publishing Company.
Nancy Chodorow. Family Structure and Feminine Personality. From Ontario Statesman Magazine, issue April 2002.
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