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Compassion day Compassion day often appears the instrument of understanding of how compassionate we can be towards others and what hidden feelings and abilities we have. It is interesting to see oneself compassionate towards other people, and it is no secret that our abilities sometimes surprise ourselves. I would define compassion as the art of not only understanding (or trying to understand) the feelings of grief other people have, but the feeling of supporting others in their grief. Very often grief makes people unable to perform their daily tasks, which definitely needs someones assistance. This is when compassion is necessary and appropriate. However, speaking about the appropriateness of compassion might be argumentative, as this feeling seems to be appropriate whenever grief is caused by any tragic events.
Thus, the recipients of our efforts in compassion are those who have lost someone forever and hav no other means to feel moral and spiritual relief, but through mourning. It is essential for those who feel this mourning to also feel compassion on the side of other people. In my definition of compassion I should also include the importance of telling people how good those whom they lost had been, and how meaningful their lives were, as well as supporting them in their idea that those whom they lost were the best and could never be replaced. The understanding of people that those who will never return into this real life were the best and that death is always unfair towards those, whom we loved and continue to love forever, make compassion full and supportive.
Compassion is the feeling of telling others that life continues and that mourning is not the end of this earth life, but should be continued for the sake of those who will never be with us again. The recipients of compassion often appear to be resistant to any type of this feeling, as their pain is more than they could expect and their realization of the loss makes them closed to those who surround them and as a result, to the compassion these people try to deliver. Thus, the art of compassion also lies in the ability to make a person in mourning open to the world around, which always causes relief and understanding that it is possible to find support. Compassion Day has made me different and has opened myself to me in the new light. As I have mentioned, such days and occasions often make us see what hidden abilities and feelings we have, and think of reasons why we never use them in our daily life. I was able to see myself compassionate towards others, which in usual daily life often made me feel awkward and unable to find the necessary words for compassion.
For some unknown reason, we often find ourselves silent and awkward when we have to express our compassion towards those who have lost someone. The reasons for this may be various, and these are mostly in our fear that the words we may tell either wont work or may make the person feel even worse, because a person in grief is unpredictable in his (her) reactions, especially when it concerns to the loss which has taken place in the recent period of time. Compassion is closely connected with the notion of death, which will never be fully understood by people and which make grief even more serious and deeper. I cannot say, whether I liked myself through the compassion day more than I liked normal myself. What I can definitely state, is that I was able to see myself compassionate through a continuous period of time in all kinds of activities, whether it was speaking to someone on the phone or helping someone in some daily activities. My task was to feel compassion through any aspect of my daily life during the day, and by the end of this day I felt this compassion has already been the integral part of my being.
It was very useful to go through this experience, and the most useful thing I have received is the ability to be compassionate towards people without the feeling of awkwardness which often accompanies us. I dont think that normal I is much worse that Compassion Day I, I guess it is more than the combination of various factors and abilities which were opened through this day, which should be added to normal I to make my life fuller and make me better towards other people. There are various reasons which prevent the normal me from coming out through the daily obligations, and the moment someone needs our compassion we often find ourselves speechless. There are also many reasons for that, but social bias serves as one of the basic pushing factors in this situation; we are often afraid of what other people will think or say if we find someone in the street needing help and will assist this person to find his (her) way home; or what others will think or say if we express the desire to deliver help to some charity organizations through the participation in their activity on regular basis; compassion does not always touch those who are in mourning it is much wider notion, and with the society understanding possible dangers which may be hidden behind those who pretend to need compassion, has made us closed to this feeling; though our inability to see people around us and our reluctance to see those who need compassion has led to the situation when we ourselves appear to be absolutely lonely when we need compassion ourselves, or as soon as we receive it, we quickly forget about it. Thus, here we come to the costs and benefits of behaving compassionately, and it will be useful to have closer look as this aspect of compassion. As any other notion of feeling, compassion appears to have its costs, how surprising it may seem.
The cost is first of all, the time which we spend (sometimes people prefer to use wasting of time to spending of time) making people feel our compassion and receive our support. This is the time which we devote to others forgetting our own needs and sacrificing the time which we could devote to ourselves for other people. The costs about which I will speak here are non-material, though in relation to the time, this statement may seem argumentative, but it is still clear that no matter how material or non-material costs may be included into compassion which we deliver to those who need it, the one great benefit will always overweight any costs it is the fact and understanding that the time we appear in the difficult situation this compassion will be delivered back to me, and it is clear that it will be delivered in full amount, which will always be greater than the amount of compassion we have previously delivered to others. In the time we appear in grief or in difficult life situation, material things start to seem meaningless and we all need compassion and seek for this compassion; this is the time when we forget about the possible costs our compassion towards others could cause and only wait for the compassion people around us may deliver.
This is why the talk about costs and benefits of compassion may probably be led by those who ultimately reject the idea of being compassionate to others and think of this feeling from the mercantile viewpoint. Any difficult situation in life often becomes the driver for our own compassion towards others, because those who have never really needed assistance in a situation seeming to have no way out, cannot fully understand the meaning of compassion. Compassion seems to be one of the best feelings a human being may have towards others, and thus despite the social bias and other inner factors which we have in ourselves, it should be exercised and used, it should be developed and delivered on the daily basis. It was interesting to notice whether people had noticed any change in my behavior during the Day of Compassion. It was even more interesting to note that they might have noticed something, but were doubtful of whether they had been right in their noticing and thus didnt show the fact they had noticed those changes. What I may guess it that the change is my behavior was noticeable and was discussed without my presence, but this fact may only make me think that my daily behavior has enough compassion in it that people dont openly show the difference in my behavior; I may assume that this difference was slight and didnt cause any surprise among people who surround me.
However, as I have already written, wer are often stopped by different social bias, and thus the fact that we suddenly change our behavior towards compassion make people think too much on this change and concentrate and guess the reasons for this change without asking openly about them. The best way to behave in this situation is to respond to this compassion without thinking about reasons; though for the people around us and their striving for finding hidden motives in any positive behavior we may display, it appears to be difficult and sometimes people simply refuse to be open towards compassion and to accept assistance, whether moral or physical through the daily activities. In order to encourage others to behave the same way, as I did on the Day of Compassion, it is necessary to make people understand that compassion is a positive feeling and it carries no costs in it, but benefits only. To make people understand this, the trainings and meetings on compassion topic, as well as the instrument of encouraging them to live through the similar Day of Compassion will be a useful instrument. The person should feel compassion through some longer period of time, and one day has appeared for me to be enough to make compassion integral part of my psychology. It is definite, that my behavior will be changed, and it is possible to predict, that I will be opener towards people in my attempt to understand their needs and to support them in any way possible for me from the psychological viewpoint, as well as through other means.
It is also clear for me, that people will finally find enough courage to ask me about the reasons for such change in my behavior, and I will have to explain that compassion is the feeling which should accompany us through our lives without any exception. Probably such explanation and myself serving as a bright example of being compassionate will also work for the sake of those who still dont understand and dont accept compassionate lifestyle for the social bias and other reasons, and to make them feel and open this compassion to those who surround them. In the wish to change others for the better psychological work should not only include the display of compassion, but patience as another side of this work, because in making people understand that you deliver this compassion without any hidden motives, patience is essential and should be exercised. In applying psychological techniques for explaining people the meaning and importance of compassion patience should be included as a part of compassion, making it work and serve for the better of those who are around us.
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