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... talking about something more complicated personal relations between two sexes. How often in the relationships between men and women sounds a phrase We need to talk? You are right, it sounds too rarely. But what can be more valuable for the human relationships, especially for those of the contrary sexes, than a good, serene, substantial talk?
Frequently both a man and a woman need and want to talk, but something does not give them to do that. Of course the matter concerns some inner problems of the couple. Thus, one can see something like a vicious circle: they need to talk in order to free themselves from their inner problems and complexes, but to do that they must firstly surmount the obstacles and to overcome their complexes. Mentioning the problem of simple talking it is necessary to admit, that many couples resort to it only when they do not already have just problems, but when their small family problems have already turned into very serious, grave problems. Sometimes the variant of solving the grave problem like let us talk appears in their minds too late to change the situation and to turn it in some better way. The suggestion, proposed here by the author is very contradictory.
Naturally, not everybody can and wants to listen to the opponent. Even if the role of the opponent plays his (or her) sweetheart. The problem of being able to listen is clearly visible here. Simple family conversations can help a couple understand and appreciate each other. Married people should agree, that this is not the last feature in the relationships. It is very important.
Doyle proposes not to tell him about his blunders and mistakes. Thus, she advises to guard him from the things, which are to be told in order to crack the problem. So, it is proposed to the woman to keep her mouth closed. It is being advised in order to show a husbands personality here like something very fragile. Reading some advices, given by Laura Doyle one can make a conclusion that a man, like a little child, needs much attention, deserves special attitude and does not support any criticism relatively to his majesty. Let us not forget, that it was written by a woman!
But how could it be? Thus, it seems that the author is teaching the people (and the most important thing is that people believe her and follow her advices) without trying all the proposed suggestions on her own practice. Why is it supposed so? Well, just because there is no woman, who, having tried the proposed suggestions, would support them and recommend them to the others.
On the basis of the facts given here one can suppose, that Laura Doyle offers her readers just some dull theory and nothing more. Suggestion 4 Here the author says, that it is desirable to make oneself available for marital sex at least once a week. Unwittingly in ones mind may appear a small question, Why only once a week? Where from are such counts? What a nonsense! Really, such things are particulary individual, that is why such Doyles suggestion sounds very unusual.
Nobody is able to argue with the fact, that men and women are physically different. A psychologist Michael G. Conner in his work Understanding The Difference Between Men And Women says, that the physical differences are rather obvious. Moreover, the physical differences between men and women have survival value and provide functional advantages. It is also added, that the psychological differences between men and women are less obvious and they even can be not so easy for description. But the importance of these differences lies in the influence they make on forming and maintaining relationships.
A topic of close, sexual relations is a very serious one. Many women are sure that they are very sexual persons. They also say that they consider sex to be something very intimate, adding, that for them it means more than just a sex. At the same time (according to the words of such women), men see sex as just some kind of release. Well, it is acceptable to believe them because of their experience and personal observations. Thus, many of such women are dissatisfied, because every time they have sex, it is not an intimate and a passionate one.
In the other words, women do not obtain that what is so desired by them. That is not a portrait of a miserable and unsatisfied woman, that is a fragment from a real relationship problem, taken from a real life. However, such cases take place too frequently in our wonderful life. Despite all the hardship, many women talking about their marriage (and, thus, about their marital life) the following words: That is not something that I regret.
Such case has its own features. For example, usually in such cases a married couple lives reasonably, perhaps even well, but the man is often sexually cold. He may not arrange foreplay's, may not touch his wife, finally, he want sex very rarely. That is the problem. But for all that the man may not notice that the problem exists. It is possible he would not notice anything special and any problem in general, saying that there is no reason for his lack of interest to his sweetheart.
By the way, the wife in the cases like this often feels low and unloved. Thinking about the conditions, which could result in such a typical situation for many up-to-date families, one can name the age of a man, his physical and mental state. We are naming such biological factors, because men, which are being spoken about are considered to be the middle-aged persons. Climatic conditions of the place, where such man lives, also is to be taken into consideration, as such reasons could be found strange or even funny for the first time, but they are some of those most important factors, which have a great influence on many aspects.
Even so, it does not mean that a man becomes useless, and is unable to do the things he did earlier. The reason is that the age can make itself felt. Conclusion. Afterword As one can see now, the question of close relationship between men and women is not an easy one. Not without reason on the very beginning of the essay it was called a great mystery of the mankind, and it is really so. The question has a lot of its aspects and unclear moments, which deserve special attention of scientists, which are inquiring into the question of such kind of relationships Maybe the relationships between men and women are not so difficult as we think.
Not in vain it is being said, that all the great is simple. The relations we were talking about are not necessarily difficult. They also are not impossible. How does a problem arise?
It arises when we expect our opponent, the opposite sex should act, think and feel in the same way as we do it. But it is also impossible, because all the people are too different to think like that. The problem is not that women and men exist in absolutely difficult realities. It is worth saying, that our lack of experience and some knowledge provokes rising of our difficulties, conflicts and problems. Yes, there are many differences between men and women.
But from the other hand, these differences by mutual agreement can be even useful for a man and woman as they can in such way deepen their relationships. One can find absolutely different criticism, interpretation of what womans nature and character are. There is an infinite number of answers and opinions on that. In fact, man and woman are different but equal. A psychologist Michael G. Conner asserts, that when men seek to understand and appreciate that which is feminine, they approach to a deeper understanding of their self.
And when a woman seeks to understand that which is masculine in men, they come to appreciate and understand more about their own masculinity. It is quite clear, how important is this feature for every woman feel her own masculinity, as it plays a great role in most spheres of their lives. A harmony is being born so. A harmony is something what our mind and body crave for and if we achieve harmony, we even begin watching this world from the other point of view, like having a new pair of eyes more clear and happy. Just the same is in the relationships between men and women. If everybody of them had reached the harmony, un doubtfully, their relationships would be wonderful for many-many years.
Bibliography: Allen, Charlotte. To Love, Honor, and Manipulate? Womens Quarterly, Spring, 2001. Braverman, Emuna. The Surrendered Wife? Aish.
com web Conner, Michael G. Understanding The Difference Between Men And Women. Copyright 1999 - 2001. Doyle, Laura.
The Surrendered Wife. Journal of Social Issues. Volume 58, Issue 4. Winter 2002.
Hughes, Zone. 7 ways to blow her mind interpersonal relations. Ebony, Feb, 2002.
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Research essay sample on Differences Between Men Men And Women
