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... s with such societal encumbrances but trust in God and in His grace and goodness. If it is within the design and intention of God for you to meet someone and marry, then you will not be able to prevent it. It will happen. If the Lord desires you to be single then keep in mind, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' (2 Cor 12: 9) because '... an unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs-how he can please the Lord...
an unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit' (1 Cor 7: 32, 34). If you think you may have found the right person keep in mind that timing is nearly as important as the individual in this case. You may have found the right person, but is it the right time? Are there matters that you need to accomplish as a single person? Are you a greater benefit to God's kingdom as a single person or as a married person?
Should you even entertain a serious relationship when you are unable to support a wife financially, emotionally, and mentally with a level of maturity that will sustain you? 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh's o they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate' (Matt 19: 5 - 6). Before you can 'cleave' (become one with your spouse) you need to be able to leave (be ready emotionally, financially, etc. ). When you believe that you can impact God's kingdom greater as a married person than maybe, just maybe it might be time. Single people (self included) tend to believe that the grass is greener on the married side of the fence. Ask any married person if this is absolutely true.
Admittedly there are blessings associated with being married, but with those blessings comes a whole new set of issues and responsibilities to contend with. Remember that Paul established the greater good by saying that it is better for someone not to get married. We have forgotten this. He goes on to say that it is better to marry than to burn (1 Cor 7: 9), but I think most people don't know what it's like to really burn. Thinking so-and-so is cute, or experiencing loneliness, or other such issues is not burning. Allow your trust and faith in God to detach you from the cultural and societal pressures associated with being single.
Trust his timing. PHYSICAL STUFF Christianity rightfully exhorts all to remain physically chaste until marriage. 'It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit' (1 Thess. 4: 3 - 8). So our main motive for purity should be His glory through our obedience.
Another reason to remain 'sex free' before marriage is because whoever one's wife shall eventually be deserves such premarital 'inactivity'. One would only hope that she is practicing the same commitment. Thus, physical fidelity is essential and right. What if, while married, my wife slept with another man? Obviously, this would be very traumatic for me and for most people in the same situation. However, what if my wife fell in love with another man?
Would this not be a greater evil? To give one's body to another person is one thing but to give one's heart away is a greater calamity. Subsequently, if physical fidelity is crucial while single, is it not equally important (if not more) to remain emotionally pure as well? Could emotional harlotry be worse than its physical counterpart?
I believe emotional promiscuity is the greatest danger facing all male / female relationships today. It can bankrupt one's spirit prior to marriage and it has the ability to erode commitment and integrity once married. Thus, guard your body AND guard your heart. 'Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life' (Pr 4: 23). When a woman leaves her heart unguarded and becomes attached to the wrong man, she exposes herself to great hurt or harm. Many women, anxious to be married, respond to the first man who comes along and even allow themselves to become physically involved when they 'know better'. It is easy to have convictions as long as you are not called upon to stand up for them, especially if you must stand up to a man you have allowed yourself to fall in love with.
Never assume you are 'strong' and can 'handle' being alone with a man (or you men with women) that you are attracted to. Remember, whoever he is, if he is not your husband, you have no business submitting to him in any area (your headship is your father), especially if he wants to engage in a little physical affection when there is no fence of protection (marriage) around the relationship. Guys and girls, virginity is a priceless inheritance you bring into marriage. Also, you cannot guard your heart unless you guard your mind. Don't feed a lonely heart with cheesy romance novels, or chick-flicks or have fantasies about girls / guys . Guys are incredibly susceptible to an unrestrained fantasy life.
Chill. This leads to lust: lust in itself or for you ladies, lust to be lusted after. Don't allow yourself to be interested in someone when that person is simply being friendly. If one is eager for a relationship, it is easy to imagine this person as being godlier, funnier, nicer, sweeter then she / he actually is. Be realistic. Don't be desperate.
Women are sometimes in love with being in love, longing for a relationship more than they long to please God. Marriage is not an end in itself; it is a means of glorifying God. And remember, 'When in doubt, throw it out'. Don't stay in a relations...
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