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Example research essay topic: The Idea Of Romantic Love - 1,142 words

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"I don't care what you think, when he comes I'll leave and won't even turn back and look at you, he " ll love me, he won't be like you... " Words spoken by me when I was barely 10 years of age. I was addressing my mother after we'd had an argument and referring to the arrival of my prince charming who would understand all my dilemmas and make life 'heaven' for me. Such is the perception of romantic love that I formed ever since I began to realize the dynamics of the relationship between a man and woman. It is what is fed to us through nursery rhymes, and fairytales and it is a world that we do not wish to leave for fear of abandonment and loneliness. As we progress through life we are constantly exposed to the likes of television serials, movies and of course 'mills & boon' romances, all aimed at reinforcing the very first impressions of bliss that we formed with regard to the loved one and love life in general. Infact, falling in love with a handsome young prince and galloping away with him into a hazy, peach orange sunset, is a romantic concept that most young girls, irrespective of race or background, embrace and ultimately grow up to anticipate.

They are taught that it is a magical paradise where they will have all of their needs met - and live happily-ever-after. They are taught that getting the romance is the goal and that after that everything is smooth sailing. Romantic love is thus an emotion surrounded by myths and metaphors, motivated by false hopes and the desire for a guarantee that somehow, a miserable life can be turned into happiness at a single stroke. Obviously that is not how it works in reality.

Robert Solomon once remarked, "Love has become an obscure ideal, like TV ads, full of promise of something fabulous yet to come, hinted at but never spoken of as such. " We are told that we can we are in love by the we feel; the giddy disorientation, shaky, shivering hands, and your heart leaping within you. Unfortunately, these are also the warning signs of dengue fever, so it's always a good idea to check with your doctor. What next? Fights on Sunday mornings? Sex twice a month?

Utter boredom, terminated only by the arrival of the first child? All our cultural conditioning makes us regard love as a single positive feeling, when in fact there are a multitude of feelings, including those of envy, hostility and jealousy, mutual bitterness and some positively inhuman actions - all sanctified, as it were, by a single word: love. To this word we tag all kinds of expectations. Our over focus leads us to demand too much from love. We put all our emotional eggs in one basket: a romantic partner must be all things to us - lover, friend, companion, playmate and parent. We don't realize that no matter how hard a partner tries to be all things to us, gratifying all of one's needs is a herculean task - beyond the human calling.

Cultural ideas that love is obtainable by 'wishing on a star' or calling on one's fairy godmother, is a result of 'destiny, ' or other wish-fulfillment myths blind people to the reality that values must be earned by self-generated and self-sustaining action. Romantic relationships are the greatest arena for spiritual growth available to us. It is well worth the risk to take a chance on love if we are viewing it as a learning experience rather than the goal in, and of, itself. Romance is part of the journey - not the destination. There is nothing wrong with wanting the prince or princess to come into our lives.

What is important is to know that they will have issues to work through - and they will push the buttons of our issues so that we are forced to face them. Romantic relationships are hard work. It is necessary to keep working on them to give them a chance to be healthy. Being in Love is a wonderful, magical feeling.

It fills us with energy and lightens our spirit so that we feel we are soaring on the wings of Love. It is wonderful to feel that energy. What is dysfunctional is expecting it to last forever. It is important to know that the feeling of being in love is not going to last forever, or be there all of the time.

Two people who are working on emotional intimacy - who are communicating and working through issues - can recapture that feeling again and again for years and years, but it is not going to always be the reality of your relationship Realistic romanticism requires the ability and the willingness to see the partner, as she or he is, shortcomings and all. It is important to be aware of possible disappointments, to prepare for them, and not to demand perfection. Rewards are expected based on realistic parameters rather than on illusions. Attempting to conduct a romance with a fantasy figure will inevitably lead to disillusionment and resentment because of the negatively violated expectations. To sustain romanticism, one must cultivate the child-like quality of perceiving and responding to life with spontaneity and freshness. One must be able to discern the unexpected in one's self as well as in one's partner and be open to novelty wherever it is discovered.

Without such skills, not only romance but all enthusiasms will fade away. People make the mistake of waiting around for the romantic feelings to emerge before they initiate romantic activities. But it works the other way around! I personally would not cast of the idea of 'romantic love' as such because I believe that romantic love is powerful, but at the same time it is not omnipotent. Doubts, fears, insecurities, weak self-esteem, and silence can prevent its achievement. The problem lies not in the concept of romantic love but in the impossible demands made in its name.

To be love is to realize that in the authentic relationship each person stands by his own perceptions. Sometimes its okay to go by the clich " es, which facilitate togetherness, but if it becomes permanent, communication is cancelled, and one is left with a low sense of oneself. The essence of true love can infact be compared to gift giving. The immeasurability of gift-giving, its wearying effects on the spirit when not reciprocated, can leave a person open to a tremendous sense of disappointment. This is just one of the risks a creative spirit takes in the world. Pursuing and maintaining romantic love is a risk too, but it is a wonderful risk, and it is the heavy price one might pay for it, that makes it so valuable in the first place.


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Research essay sample on The Idea Of Romantic Love

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