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Example research essay topic: Psychological Damage Of Divorce To Children - 1,688 words

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Since the 1960 's the number of children directly touched by divorce has jumped from 485, 000 to one million per year. Today about one half of all marriages undertaken will end in divorce. There are predictable and typical reactions that children experience because of their parents divorce. (Divorce, np) Both the short term and long term effects that children face need to be recognized and acknowledged in order to assist a generation full of broken homes in achieving happiness and a sense of closure. It has been conceded that while most children suffer similar effects, not all will be as severely harmed as others. It is no question that divorce harms children. However, the short term effects vary depending on age.

Preschoolers aged 3 - 5 are likely to experience feelings of anger, sadness, and anxiety. Each sex displays emotions differently. Boys at this age tend to be noisier and more disruptive than usual. Their restlessness can cause conflicts in school and often results in disciplinary problems.

In contrast, preschool aged girls are concerned with good behavior and keeping things neat. They tend to take on the role as teacher / parent by scolding and lecturing others. Both boys and girls cry more frequently, become openly demanding, and regress to outgrown behaviors such as bed wetting, thumb sucking, needing a security blanket, and experiencing nightmares. (Divorce, np) School aged children aged 6 - 8 generally have the most difficult time coping with the divorce of parents. This is found to be especially true with boys at this age. Psychologists feel this is directly linked to the fact that most fathers move out when parents divorce. The boys lose their constant male role model while girls retain their role model. (Divorce, np) Children at this age will cry openly and experience sadness.

Because they feel rejected by the departing parent, it is common for both sexes to have a loss of self-esteem and feel as though they are unlovable. Concentration becomes extremely difficult and will usually surface when it comes to school work. School aged children 9 - 12 show their sadness through anger and hostility towards their parents. Although they are angry, they may try to hide their feelings if one parent openly hates the other.

Because this group is becoming emotionally mature, they can often be persuaded into placing blame on one parent and siding with the other. They are likely to sacrifice their own needs to comfort or protect a parent. For example, if a mother cries in front of her children they will hold in their own tears. This is an effort to be strong and help the parent when really they are only hurting themselves by denying the expression of their own emotions. The girls will obey their mother while boys usually show more aggressive and uncooperative behavior at school and at home. Grades tend to fall below the child's average performance due to lack of concentration and a preoccupation with problems at home.

Complaints of headaches, stomach aches, and other physical ailments are used as an attention getting device or could be a sign of depression or other such psychological problems. Friends aren't as easy to get along with, especially if their parents are still together. So the child will spend a decreasing amount of time with friends. They may experience a change in friends. This will normally be a change to friends who also come from broken homes.

The child is filled with a "why me?" type of outlook and is filled with helplessness, powerlessness, and anxiety of what will or could happen next. Adolescents react much differently than younger children. They are less likely to feel responsible for the break up of parents and use the experience to distance themselves from parents. To avoid the parental relationship many spend increasing amounts of time with friends and at work.

Because they are viewed as being relatively grown up, they are given more responsibilities around the house and with younger siblings. Some adolescents feel the added responsibility causes them to lose part of their childhood and take on the role as parent. Resentment is a common result of this type of feeling. Studies show that 10 years after their parents' divorce, 30 %of the children cope successfully in life, while 40 % have mixed success with relationships, and personal problems. The remaining 30 % continue to struggle with significant relationship and personal problems. (Divorce, np) While the short term effects of divorce are visible first, the long term effects are the most damaging.

When a child experiences divorce their lives are irrevocably changed. As a result of divorce a child's self-esteem is dramatically lowered. They feel a sense of rejection from the departing parent. "At the time of marital separation, when (as is typical) father leaves the family home and becomes progressively less involved with his children over the ensuing years, it appears that young girls experience the emotional loss of the father egocentrically as rejection of them. While more common among preschool and early elementary school girls, we have observed this phenomenon clinically in later elementary school and young adolescent children.

Here the continued lack of involvement is experienced as an ongoing rejection by him. Many girls attribute this rejection to their not being pretty enough, affectionate enough, athletic enough, or smart enough to please father and engage him in regular, frequent contacts. " (Long-Term, np) In 90 % of divorce cases handled today the mothers of the children are awarded custody of the children. This means that the children will be more than likely be living in a single-parent household and living with the income of a single mother. It is common knowledge that on average women do not have as much gross income per year as males do. It can be concluded that a single mother raising her children will have a significant number of financial difficulties. How does this affect the children? "Children from single-parent families are more than five times as likely to live in poverty, nearly twice as likely to need physiological help, and two and a half times as likely to drop out of school, get pregnant before marriage, abuse drugs, and commit crimes as are children from intact families. (Marriage, 113) Some say these effects are exaggerated, but if one looks closer thay will see it all fits together.

The child who experiences divorce will be hurt and upset. More than likely, they will need to seek the help of a professional in this type of field in order to learn how to cope. Psychologists do not work for free. So the mother is left to pay the bill with her already stretched paycheck.

The older the child gets the more it will cost for the mother to support them. This puts her close to the poverty line and struggling to pay other bills. If she has a daughter, her daughter is seeking the affection she lost when her father moved out. This could lead to teen pregnancy and eventually dropping out of school. What if the child does not get pregnant and desires to go on to college in order to continue their education?

They see their poor mother and think they cannot afford to go to college. So instead of applying for grants they give up their idea, dropout and get a full time job. This is fine for now, but in ten to twenty years when they still have not finished their education they are only qualified for limited number of jobs. It is a depressing sight.

One that will be hard for a person to deal with. So they get angry and decide they will try to beat the system that has trapped them. They turn to crime and drugs. Of course it is not fair to assume all children of divorce will follow this path, but it is easy to see how some will.

Economically they are at a disadvantage and probably will be for the rest of their life. Children of divorce have been severely hurt emotionally. The most important relationship to them has collapsed. They have seen parents who say they loved each other decide they no longer do.

The children start to feel as though nothing is for certain and those they love can be taken away at any moment. It is because of this mind set that children of divorce have extensive problems with trust. As a result, the children develop "an inability to form lasting attachments. " (Marriage, 79) For some this means a life of running from people, institutions, and relationships. If they do allow romantic relationships to develop it is likely that they will purposely sabotage them or use excuses to escape before they have a chance to be hurt. This vicious cycle can cause children of divorce to avoid marriage altogether when they are older. On the other hand, those who do marry tend to seek either unreliable partners or dull who at least would never leave.

In both cases the children are often haunted by their parents failed marriage and fear the same may happen to them. (Leo, np) It must once again be noted that while many children are negatively affected by divorce, not all children are. "What the research shows is that when children continue to have post divorce with emotionally healthy parents and when the parents do not embroil the children in their conflicts, these children show no long-term psychological damage" (Williams, 88). In conclusion, children of divorce are often subject to many negative effects if not counseled and taught to deal with the divorce in a healthy and emotionally expressive way. It is the job of the child's parents to see that the child is coping properly and to recognize any unusual behavior. If their behavior changes drastically the help of a professional should be sought, because some of the long term effects of divorce on children can be prevented.

In addition, "considering what we know now about the impact of divorce on children, that should give many divorce-minded couples some second thoughts. " (Leo, np)


Free research essays on topics related to: children of divorce, long term effects, short term effects, school aged children, divorce on children

Research essay sample on Psychological Damage Of Divorce To Children

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