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Disturbing, resilience, and courageous are merely a glimpse of how impacting the story of Mary Karrs life was growing up as a child in an unpredictable home life. Reading about situations that Mary and her sister experienced made me think about my own childhood with its crisis and misfortunes. I myself have never come close to experiencing anything in my life like she had, but how she described the situations she endured made me feel her frustrations and vulnerabilities. Even with the difference in the time era from today Marys traumatic and stressful childhood growing up in the 60 s coincides with what we have been learning in this class. There are many examples that can be related to the information about stress and how it affects children in todays society. The way she starts her memoir is like she is unfolding memories she had tucked away during the pecks of the stressful and at many times traumatic events she experienced during her early childhood.
The way in which she begins makes it seem like she is standing in the room as the events unfold. Mary used the terms, may have and I suppose to describe her feelings and some details about the night her mother was pronounced Nervous. She described the way of coping in a very powerful manor. When the truth would be unbearable the mind often just blanks it out. This idea makes Marys coping strategy when she was a child similar to denial. She erased many of the details of that night to defend herself from the magnitude of the event.
Later, this seems to be a defense mechanism when the older neighborhood boy sexually assaulted her. She seemed to block out the memory until she was mature enough to understand what had happened. However other crisis situations she explains with much more detail as if she did not store them away to make them as if they had never happened. Mary as a child has coping skills to help her deal with her situations but at her young age her management skills were not yet developed enough. She did not seem to use management skills when dealing with her peers and pressures to void violent or hostile arguments. As the story of her life unfolded anticipatory coping was sometimes present in her young age.
When again she was place in the situation performing oral sex on the unnamed babysitter she had the idea to protect her self from what had happened before by squeezing her legs together firmly. She learned in some way to avoid or prevent that situation from occurring again. Her father was the one who seemed to present her with situations that she could take action to prevent in the future. For instance when she and her family went to the beach her sister was hurt by the Man of War jellyfish, Mary listened to her father when he talked of what could happen if the went out in the water.
However, Mary did not avoid or really try to prevent certain situations in the classroom and her neighborhood environment even when she was presented with similar ones repeatedly. These situations were most commonly dealt with by acting out. The consequences from this could have been avoided but Marys method of dealing with the stresses may have been due to the lack of management and anticipatory coping skills. The crisis situations she encountered throughout her life were handled on her own. Her sister and her father were her main sources of support but in general she dealt with things internally. Times when her parents or other family members should have stepped in were insufficient.
The trauma that her and her sister went through during the car accident was never acknowledged but the people who should have been worried about them. The turned to each other during the actual event but they were expect to deal with it them selves. The security of being protect and reassurance that they would be okay was no where to be found. When Mary had to deal with the death of her grandmother she said she lost the trust in the worlds order. There was not the parental guidance to help her understand the feelings and affects of death.
As a child dealing with crisis and stress she was amazingly resilient yet vulnerable. She understood that her family was different and that her mothers abnormal behavior was not her fault. I think she was also at times very vulnerable to exposure to added stress, but her resilience helped her get through her vulnerabilities. As I stated before, my childhood with its crisis and stresses was not as extreme as Marys. I had much support from both of my parents during times of crisis.
My sister was in a horrible car accident when I was 11. This was a very traumatic situation for me. My parents and family were there to support my feelings of uncertainty. Something I found similar to my childhood experience and that of Marys was her group of neighborhood friends she ran with.
The way she interacted with them in some ways is similar to how I was. I was a rough and trouble child with the idea that I could hold my own ground being tough. I ran with a huge group of boys close in age to my own. Language I was exposed to by my oldest sister was repeated by me to them. However, I was not looked at as being different then them nor was my home environment frowned upon. Like Mary, many of the four letter words I repeated I did not fully understand.
Even though experiences in my life differ from the story I can see that others could definitely relate more personally to it. There were class mates of mine in school who, now that I have been learning about children, were most likely dealing with situations like Marys. There were always the boys and girls who acted out violently towards students during play time that were probably provoked by stress they had been experiencing at home. Novels like the Liars Club and education have opened the door to what other children deal with in their early age. Also, the methods of how they cope. The Liars Club is a great way to get a glimpse inside a childs mind during times of crisis and stress.
The honestly Mary possessed when telling her story made her life some what easier to find something I could relate to in my own life.
Free research essays on topics related to: crisis situations, young age, coping skills, management skills, car accident
Research essay sample on Crisis Situations Coping Skills
