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As you write your essay, remember to focus on verbs and keep adjectives to a minimum. Pumping your sentences full of adjectives and adverbs is not the same thing as adding detail or color. Adjectives and adverbs add lazy description, but verbs add action.
Sentences in active voice are also more concise than those in passive voice. You can recognize passive-voice expressions because the verb phrase will always include a form of to be, such as am, is, was, were, are, or been. The presence of a be-verb, however, does not necessarily mean that the sentence is in passive voice. In sentences written in passive voice, the subject receives the action expressed in the verb; the subject is acted upon.
In sentences written in active voice, the subject performs the action expressed in the verb; the subject acts.
EXAMPLES: (Passive) I was selected to be the tuba player by the band leader. (Active) The bandleader selected me to be the tuba player. (Passive) I will be prepared for college as a result of the lessons my mother taught me. (Active) My mother taught me lessons that will prepare me for college (Passive) I am reminded of her voice every time I hear that song. (Active) That song reminds me of her voice.
1. After working closely with my mentor, I advanced techniques in oil painting. a) was beginning to master b) began to master c) mastered 2. My newspaper article on the labor strikes both praise and criticism. a) generated b) got c) was the recipient of 3.Answers: 1) c; 2) a; 3) a; 4) b; 5) a; 6) a; 7) b; 8) c; 9) a; 10) c;
Once I joined the debate team, I the opportunity to compete every weekend. a) sought b) had c) was exposed to 4. Samuels touchdown the stadium crowd. a) created much energy in b) energized c) really energized 5. Woolfs essay my opinion of gender inequality.
a) challenged b) made me take another look at c) was challenging to 6. As Jessica drew near me, I the baton and took off running. a) grasped b) got c) was given 7. Once my mother had fallen asleep, I the dolls on her nightstand. a) put b) arranged c) set up 8. Chris and I an educational project for first-graders in our community.
a) began b) started c) initiated 9. Why didnt you ask me before throwing it away? Jason. a) hollered b) said angrily c) started to yell 10.
Mr. Franklin that he was our true father. a) let us know b) told us c) revealed
Cross out the was or the were. Add -ed to the verb that follows was or were. If that changed verb does not make grammatical sense, it is an irregular verb, so change it to the simple past tense. Rewrite the sentence around the new active-voice verb.
My father was given the title by the former head chief. 3. The house was wrecked by the party and the cat was let loose by the guests. 4. The house is a mess, the cat is lost, and the car has been stolen by Justin. 5. Unfortunately, my plan was ruined by Gerald, the building superintendent. 6. The roof was leaking. It had been leaking all week. 7.
The ball was thrown by Lucy, who had been hiding in the bushes. 8. Francesca was placed on the first flight to Boston. Her father put her there. 9. To be or not to be? That is the question. 10.
A feast had been created from nothing. I was astounded. Answers: 1. My brother taught me the principles of barbecuing. 2. The former head chief gave the title to my father. 3.
The party wrecked the house and the guests let the cat loose. 4. The house is a mess, the cat is lost, and Justin has stolen the car. 5. Unfortunately, Gerald, the building superintendent, ruined my plan. 6. No change. 7. Lucy, who had been hiding in the bushes, threw the ball. 8. Francesca's father placed her on the first flight to Boston. 9.
No change. 10. A feast had been created from nothing. This astounded me.
From ESSAYS THAT WILL GET YOU INTO COLLEGE, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Down. Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron's Educational Series, Inc.
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