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... right, BUT, he ate me alive, I was his property and an extension of him. I also grew up with the mounting hatred of my narcissist brother who got none of this attention from our father and got no attention from our mother either. My function was to make my father look wonderful in the eyes of all outsiders, the wonderful parent with a genius "wunderkind" as his last child, and the only child of the six that he was physically present to raise from the get. The overvaluation combined with being abjectly ignored or raged at by him when I stepped out of line even the tiniest bit, was enough to warp my personality. " Rather than fall into full blown secondary narcissism, the invert cannot, or is not even allowed THAT dubious privilege. The invert is so heavily engaged in their pre-school years in satisfying the narcissistic parent, that the traits of grandiosity and self-love, need for adoration and narcissistic supply from ANY viable source, is not afforded to the invert.

The invert simply "knows" that only the narcissist parent can give the narcissistic supply to the invert. The narcissistic parent is so controlling that any attempt to garner praise or adulation from any other source (without the approval of the parent - who will co-opt that approval for themselves) is severely punished by swift devaluation and even the occasional spanking or abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual). This is a vital part of the conditioning that gives rise to the distinction in our view. Where the narcissist exhibits grandiosity, the invert is intensely uncomfortable with personal praise, and wishes to always divert praise away from themselves onto another. This is why the IN can only truly FEEL anything when he is in relationship with another narcissist. The IN is conditioned and programmed from the very beginning to be the perfect companion to the narcissist.

To feed their ego, to be purely an extension of them, to seek only praise and adulation for oneself if it brings greater praise and adulation for the narcissist.

The Inverted Narcissist's Survival Guide
    Listen attentively to everything the narcissist says and agree with it all. Don't believe a word of it but let it slide as if everything is just fine, business as usual. Personally offer something absolutely unique to the narcissist which they cannot obtain anywhere else. Also be prepared to line up future sources of primary NS for your narcissist because you will not be IT for very long, if at all. If you take over the procuring function for the narcissist, they become that much more dependent on you which makes it a bit tougher for them to pull their haughty stuff - an inevitability, in any case. Be endlessly patient and go way out of your way to be accommodating, thus keeping the narcissistic supply flowing liberally, and keeping the peace (relatively speaking).

    I get tremendous personal satisfaction out of endlessly giving. This one may not be attractive to you, but it is a take it or leave it proposition. Be absolutely emotionally and financially independent of the narcissist. Take what you need: the excitement and engulfment (i. e. , NS) and refuse to get upset or hurt when the narcissist does or says something dumb.

    Yelling back works really well but should be reserved for special occasions when you fear your narcissist may be on the verge of leaving you; the silent treatment is better as an ordinary response, but it must be carried out without any emotional content, more with the air of boredom and "I'll talk to you later, when I am good and ready, and when you are behaving in a more reasonable fashion. If your narcissist is cerebral and NOT interested in having much sex - then give yourself ample permission to have "hidden" sex with other people. Your cerebral narcissist will not be indifferent to infidelity so discretion and secrecy is of paramount importance. If your narcissist is somatic and you don't mind, join in on endlessly interesting group sex encounters but make sure that you choose properly for your narcissist.

    They are heedless and very undiscriminating in respect of sexual partners and that can get very problematic (STDs and blackmail come to mind). If you are a "fixer" which most inverted narcissists are, then focus on fixing situations, preferably before they become "situations." Don't for one moment delude yourself that you can FIX the narcissist - it simply will not happen. Not because they are being stubborn - they just simply can't be fixed. If there is any fixing that can be done, it is to help your narcissist become aware of their condition, and this is VERY IMPORTANT, with no negative implications or accusations in the process at all. It is like living with a physically handicapped person and being able to discuss, calmly, unemotionally, what the limitations and benefits of the handicap are and how the two of you can work with these factors, rather than trying to change them. FINALLY, and most important of all for the inverted narcissist: KNOW YOURSELF.

    What are you getting from the relationship? Are you actually a masochist? Why is this relationship attractive and interesting? Define for yourself what good and beneficial things you believe you are receiving in this relationship. Define the things that you find harmful TO YOU. Develop strategies to minimize the harm to yourself.

    Don't expect that you will cognitively be able to reason with the narcissist to change who they are. You may have some limited success in getting your narcissist to tone down on the really harmful behaviours THAT AFFECT YOU which emanate from the unchangeable WHAT the narcissist is. This can only be accomplished in a very trusting, frank and open relationship.
      We firmly believe that it is only the inverted narcissist who can have a reasonably good, long lasting relationship with the narcissist. You must be prepared to give your narcissist a LOT of space and leeway. You don't really exist for them as a fully realized person - no one does.

      They are not fully realized people so they cannot possibly have the skills, no matter how smart or sexy, to be a complete person in the sense that most adults are complete.
      Somatic versus Cerebral Inverted Narcissists
      The Inverted Narcissist (IN) is really an erstwhile narcissist internalized by the IN. Inevitably, we are likely to find among the inverted the same propensities, predilections, preferences and inclinations as we do among proper narcissists. The cerebral IN is an IN whose source of primary narcissistic supply lies - through the medium and mediation of a narcissist - in the exercise of his intellectual faculties. A somatic IN would tend to make use of his body, sex, shape or health in trying to secure NS for "his" narcissist. The inverted narcissist feeds on the primary narcissist and this is his narcissistic supply. So these two typologies can, in essence become a self-supporting, symbiotic system.

      In reality though, both the narcissist and the inverted narcissist need to be quite well aware of the dynamics of this relationship in order to make this work as a successful long term arrangement. It might well be that this symbiosis would only work between a cerebral narcissist and a cerebral invert. The somatic narcissist's capricious sexual dalliances would be far too threatening to the equanimity of the cerebral invert for there to be much chance of this succeeding, even for a short time. It would seem that only opposing types of narcissists can get along when two classic narcissists are involved in a couple.

      It follows, syllogistically, that only identical types of narcissist and inverted narcissist can survive in a couple. In other words: the best, most enduring couples of narcissist and his inverted narcissist mate would involve a somatic narcissist and a somatic IN - or a cerebral narcissist and a cerebral IN. Coping with Narcissists and Non-Narcissists The inverted narcissist is a person who grew up enthralled by the narcissistic parent. This parent engulfed and subsumed the child's being to such an over-bearing extent that the child's personality was irrevocably shaped by this engulfment, damaged beyond hope of repair. The child was not even able to develop defense mechanisms such as narcissism. The end result is an inverted narcissistic personality.

      The traits of this personality are primarily evident in relationship ontents. The child was conditioned by the narcissistic parent to only be entitled to feel whole, useful, productive, complete when the child was augmenting or mirroring back to the parent, their own sought after narcissistic image. As a result the child is shaped by this engulfment and cannot feel complete in any significant adult relationship unless they are with a narcissist. The Inverted Narcissist in Relationship with the Narcissist The inverted narcissist is drawn to engaging in significant relationships with other narcissists in adulthood. These relationships are usually spousal primary relationships but can also be friendships with narcissists outside of the primary love relationship. In a primary relationship, the inverted narcissist attempts to re-create the parent child relationship.

      The invert thrives on mirroring to the narcissist their own grandness and in so doing the invert obtains their OWN narcissistic supply (the dependence of the narcissist upon the invert for their Secondary Narcissistic Supply). The invert must have this form of relationship with a narcissist in order to feel complete and whole. The invert will go as far as he needs to in order to ensure that the narcissist is happy, cared for, properly adored as is the narcissists' right. The invert glorifies his narcissist, placing him on a pedestal, enduring any and all narcissistic devaluation with calm equanimity, impervious to the overt slights of the narcissist. Narcissistic rage is handled deftly and set aside without a thought by the inverted narcissist. The invert is exceedingly adept at managing every aspect of his life, tightly controlling all situations, so as to minimize the potential for the inevitable narcissistic rages of his narcissist.

      The invert wishes to be subsumed by the narcissist. The invert only feels truly loved and alive in this kind of relationship. The invert is loathe to abandon his relationships with narcissists. The relationship will only end when the narcissist withdraws completely from the symbiotic nature of this relationship. Once the narcissist has determined that the invert is of no further use, and withholds all narcissistic supply from the invert, only then will the invert reluctantly move on to another relationship. The invert is most likely to equate sexual intimacy with engulfment.

      This can be easily misread to mean that the invert is himself a somatic narcissist. This interpretation is incorrect when dealing with the invert. The invert will endure years of minimal sexual contact with their narcissist and still be able to maintain the illusory feeling of intimacy and engulfment. The invert will find a myriad of other ways to "merge" with the narcissist, becoming intimately though only supportively involved with the narcissist's business, career, any activity at all where the invert can feel that their support of the narcissist is irreplaceable, needed by the narcissist, indispensable. The invert is an expert at doling out narcissistic supply and will even go as far as procuring primary narcissistic supply for their narcissist (even where this means finding another lover for the narcissist, or participating in group sex with the narcissist). Usually though, the invert seems most attracted to the cerebral narcissist and finds him easier to manage than the somatic narcissist.

      The cerebral narcissist is disinterested in sex and this makes life considerably easier for the invert, i. e. , the invert is less likely to "lose" their cerebral narcissist to another primary partner whereas a somatic narcissist may be prone to changing partners with greater frequency or wishes to have no partner, preferring to have multiple, casual sexual relationships of no apparent depth which never last very long. The invert sees relationships with narcissists as the ONLY true and legitimate form of primary relationship. The invert is capable of having primary relationships with non-narcissists but will invariably feel very little in these relationships. Without engulfment the invert feels unneeded, hence unwanted in these relationships.

      Relationships between the Inverted Narcissist and Non-Narcissists The inverted narcissist can maintain relationships outside of the symbiotic primary relationship with a narcissist. The difficulties encountered by the invert in this kind of relationship are that the invert will not "feel" loved because the non-narcissist is not "engulfing" them and hence the invert will tend to devalue their non-narcissistic primary partner as less than worthy of the inverts' love and attention. The invert may be able to sustain a relationship with a non-narcissist by finding other narcissistic symbiotic relationships outside of this primary relationship. The invert may have a narcissistic friend to whom the invert pays extraordinary attention, ignoring the real needs of the non-narcissistic partner.

      Consequently, the only semi-stable primary relationship between the invert and the non-narcissist occurs where the non-narcissist is very easy going, emotionally secure and not needing much from the invert at all by way of time, energy or commitment to activities requiring both parties to be involved. In this sort of relationship, the invert may become a workaholic or become very involved in outside activities that have no connection with the non-narcissist spouse. It appears that the inverted narcissist in relationship with a non-narcissist will, for all intents and purposes, be behaviourallyindistinguishable from a true narcissist with one important exception: the invert does not rage at his non-narcissist partner - he instead withdraws from the relationship even further where episodes of rage would normally occur for the narcissist. This passive-aggressive reaction has been noted, though, with narcissists as well.
      Inverted and Other Atypical / Partial (NOS) Narcissists about Themselves
      Competition and (pathological) Envy "I have a dynamic that comes up with every single person I get close to, where I feel extremely competitive toward and envious of the other person. But I don't act competitive, because at the very outset, I see myself as the loser in the competition. I would never dream of trying to beat the other person, because I know deep in my heart that they would win and I would be utterly humiliated.

      There are fewer things on earth that feel worse to me than losing a contest and having the other person gloat over me, especially if they know how much I cared about not losing. This is one thing that I actually feel violent about. I guess I tend to project the grandiosity part of the NPD package onto the other person rather than on a false ego of my own. So most of the time I'm stuck in a state of deep resentment and envy toward her. To me, she's always far more intelligent, likable, popular, talented, self-confident, emotionally developed, morally good, and attractive than I am. And I really hate her for that, and feel humiliated by it.

      So it's incredibly hard for me to feel happy for this person when she has a success, because I'm overcome with humiliation about myself. This has ruined many a close relationship. I tend to get this way about one person at a time, usually the person who is playing the role of "my better half, " best friends or lovers / partners . So it's not like I'm unable to be happy for anyone, ever, or that I envy every person I meet. I don't get obsessed with how rich or beautiful movie stars are or anything like that. It only gets projected onto this partner-person, the person I'm depending on the most in terms of supplies (attention, reassurance, security, building up my self-esteem, etc. )...

      The really destructive thing that happens is, I see her grandiose traits as giving her the power to have anything and anyone she wants. So I feel a basic insecurity, because why should she stay with a loser like me, when she's obviously so out of my league? So really, what I'm envious of is the power that all that talent, social ability, beauty, etc. , gives her to have choices - the choice to stay or leave me. Whereas I am utterly dependent on her. It's this emotional inequality that I find so humiliating. "I agree with the Inverted Narcissist designation - sometimes I've called myself a "closet narcissist. " That is, I've internalized the value system of grandiosity, but have not applied the grandiose identity to myself. I believe I should be those grandiose things, but at the same time, I know I'm not and I'm miserable about it.

      So people don't think of me as having an inflated ego - and indeed I don't - but scratch the surface, and you " ll find all these inflated expectations. I mean to say that perhaps the parents suppressed every manifestation of grandiosity (very common in early childhood) and of narcissism - so that the defense mechanism that narcissism is was "inverted" and internalized in this unusual form. "Maybe there aren't two discrete states (NPD vs. "regular" low self-esteem) - maybe it's more of a continuum. And maybe it's just the degree and depth of the problem that distinguishes one from the other. My therapist describes NPD as "the inability to love oneself. " As she defines it, the "narcissistic wound" is a deep wounding of the sense of self, the image of oneself.

      That doesn't mean that other disorders - or for that matter, other life stressors - can't also cause low self-esteem. But I think NPD is low self-esteem... That's what the disorder is really about - an image of yourself that is profoundly negative, and the inability to attain a normal and healthy self-image... "Yes, I'm a survivor of child abuse. But remember that not all abuse is alike. There are different kinds of abuse, and different effects. My XXXX's style of abuse had to do with trying to annihilate me as a separate person.

      It also had to do with the need to put all his negative self-image onto me - to see in me what he hated in himself. So I got to play the role of the loser that he secretly feared he was. I was flipped back and forth in those roles - sometimes I'd be a source of NS for him, and other times I was the receptacle of all his pain and rage. Sometimes my successes were used to reflect back on him, to show off to the rest of the family. Other times, my successes were threatening to my father, who suddenly feared that I was superior to him and had to be squelched. I experience emotions that most people I know don't feel.

      Or maybe they do feel them, but to far less extreme intensity. For example, the envy and comparison / competition I feel toward others. I guess most of us have experienced rivalry, jealousy, being compared to others. Most of us have felt envy at another's success. Yet most people I know seem able to overcome those feelings to some extent, to be able to function normally. In a competition, for example, they may be driven to do their best so they can win.

      For me, the fear of losing and being humiliated is so intense that I avoid competition completely. I am terrified of showing people that I care about doing well, because it's so shaming for me if I lose. So I underachieve and pretend I don't care. Most people I know may envy another person's good luck or success, but it doesn't prevent them from also being happy for them and supporting them. But for me, when I'm in a competitive dynamic with someone, I can't hear about any of their successes, or compliments they " ve received, etc. I don't even like to see the person doing good things, like bringing Thanksgiving leftovers to the sick old guy next door, because those things make me feel inferior for not thinking of doing that myself (and not having anyone in my life that I'd do that for).

      It's just so incredibly painful for me to see evidence of the other person's good qualities, because it immediately brings up my feeling of inferiority. I can't even stand to date someone who looks really good, because I'm jealous of their good looks! So this deep and obsessive envy has destroyed my joy in other people. All the things about other people that I love and take pleasure in is a double-edged sword because I also hate them for it, for having those good qualities (while, presumably, I don't). I don't know - do you think this is garden-variety low self-esteem? I know plenty of people who suffer from lack of confidence, from timidity, social awkwardness, hatred of their body, feeling unlovable, etc.

      But they don't have this kind of hostile, corrosive resentment of another person for being all the wonderful things that they can't be, or aren't allowed to be, etc. And one thing I hate is when people are judgmental of me about how I feel, as though I can help it. It's like, "You shouldn't be so selfish, you should feel happy for her that she's successful, " etc. They don't understand that I would love to feel those things, but I can't.

      I can't stop the incredible pain that explodes in me when these feelings get triggered, and I often can't even hide the feelings. It's just so overwhelming. I feel so damaged sometimes. There's more, but that's the crux of it for me, anyway.

      Getting Compliments "I love getting compliments and rewards, and do not react negatively to them. In some moods, when my self-hate has gotten triggered, I can sometimes get to places where I'm inconsolable, because I get stuck in bitterness and self-pity, and so I doubt the sincerity or the reliability of the good thing that someone is saying to me (to try to cheer me up or whatever). But, if I'm in a reasonable mood and someone offers me something good, I'm all too happy to accept it! I don't have a stake in staying miserable. " The Partiality of the Condition "I do agree that it's (atypical or inverted narcissism) not milder . But how I see it is that it's partial . The part that's there is just as destructive as it is in the typical narcissist.

      But there are parts missing from that total, full-blown disorder - and I see that as healthy, actually. I see it as parts of myself that weren't infected by the pathology, that are still intact. In my case, I did not develop the overweening ego part of the disorder. So in a sense, what you have with me is the naked pathology, with no covering: no suaveness, no charm, no charisma, no confidence, no persuasiveness, but also no excuses, no lies, no justifications for my feelings. Just the ugly self-hate, for all to see. And the self-hate part is just as bad as it is with a full-blown narcissist, so again, it's not milder.

      But because I don't have the denial part of the disorder, I have a lot more insight, a lot more motivation to do something about my problems (i. e. , I "self-refer" to therapy), and therefore, I think, a lot more hope of getting better than people whose defense involves totally denying they even have a problem. "When my full-blown XXXX's pathological envy would get triggered, he would respond by putting down the person he was envious of - or by putting down the accomplishment itself, or whatever good stuff the other person had. He'd trivialize it, or outright contradict it, or find some way to convince the other person (often me) that the thing they " re feeling good about isn't real, or isn't worthwhile, or is somehow bad, etc. He could do this because the inflated-ego defense was fully formed and operating with him. When my pathological envy gets triggered, I will be bluntly honest about it. I'll say something self-pitying, such as, "You always get the good stuff, and I get nothing. "You " re so much better than I. "People like you better - you have good social skills and I'm a jerk. " and so on.

      Or I might even get hostile and sarcastic: "Well, it must nice to have so many people worshipping you, isn't it?" I don't try to convince myself that the other person's success isn't real or worthwhile, etc. Instead, I'm totally flooded with the pain of feeling utterly inferior and worthless - and there's no way for me to convince myself or anyone else otherwise. I'm not saying that the things I say are pleasant to hear - and it is still manipulative of me to say them, because the other person's attention is drawn away from their joy and onto my pain and hostility. And instead of doubting their success's worth or reality, they feel guilty about it, or about talking about it, because it hurts me so much. So from the other person's point of view, maybe it's not any easier to live with a partial narcissist than with a full-blown, in that their joys and successes lead to pain in both cases. It's certainly not easier for me, being flooded with rage and pain instead of being able to hide behind a delusion of grandeur.

      But from my therapist's point of view, I'm much better off because I know I'm unhappy - it's in my face all the time. So I'm motivated to work on it and change it. And time has borne her words out. Over the past several years that I've worked on this issue, I have changed a great deal in how I deal with it. Now when the envy gets triggered, I don't feel so entwined with the other person - I recognize that it's my own pain getting triggered, not something they are doing to me. And so I can acknowledge the pain in a more responsible way, taking ownership of it by saying, "The jealousy feelings are getting triggered again, and I'm feeling worthless and inferior.

      Can you reassure me that I'm not?" That's a lot better than making some snide, hostile, or self- pitying comment that puts the other person on the defensive or makes them feel guilty... I do prefer the term "partial" because that's what it feels like to me. It's like a building that's partially built - the house of narcissism. For me, the structure is there, but not the outside, so you can see inside the skeleton to all the junk that's inside. It's the same junk that's inside a full-blown narcissist, but their building is completed, so you can't see inside.

      Their building is a fortress, and it's almost impossible to bring it down. My defenses aren't as strong... which makes my life more difficult in some ways because I really feel my pain. But it also means that the house can be brought down more easily, and the junk inside cleaned out... " Thinking about the Past and the World "I don't usually get rage ful about the past. I feel sort of emotionally cut off from the past, actually.

      I remember events very clearly, but usually can't remember the feelings. When I do remember the feelings, my reaction is usually one of sadness, and sometimes of relief, that I can get back in touch with my past. But not rage. All my rage seems to get displaced on the current people in my life. " ."..

      when I see someone being really socially awkward and geeky, passive-aggressive, indirect and victim-like, it does trigger anger in me because I identify with that person and I don't want to. I try to put my negative feelings onto them, to see that person as the jerk, not me - that's what a narcissist does, after all. But for me it doesn't completely work because I know, consciously, what I'm trying to do. And ultimately, I'm not kidding anyone, least of all myself. " Self Pity and Depression "More self-pity and depression here - not so much rage. One of the things that triggers my rage more than anything else is the inability to control another person, the inability to dominate them and force my reality on them. I feel impotent, humiliated, forced back on my empty self.

      Part of what I'm feeling here is envy: that person who can't be controlled clearly has a self and I don't, and I just hate them for it. But it's also a power struggle - I want to get Narcissistic Supply by being in control and on top and having the other person submissive and compliant... " Regretting, Admitting Mistakes "I regret my behavior horribly, and I do admit my feelings. I am also able, in the aftermath, to have empathy for the feelings of the person I've hurt, and I'm horribly sad about it, and ashamed of myself. It's as though I'd been possessed by a demon, acted out all this abusive horrible stuff, and then, after the departure of the demon, I'm back in my right mind and it's like, "What have I done ? ?" I don't mean I'm not responsible for what I did (i. e. , a demon made me do it).

      But when I'm triggered, I have no empathy - I can only see my projection onto that person, as a huge threat to me, someone who must be demolished. But when my head clears, I see that person's pain, hurt, fear - and I feel terrible. I want to make it up to them. And that feeling is totally sincere - it's not an act.

      I'm genuinely sorry for the pain I've caused the other person. " Rage "I wouldn't say that my rage comes from repressed self-contempt (mine is not repressed - I'm totally aware of it). And it's not missing atonement either, since I do atone. The rage comes from feeling humiliated, from feeling that the other person has somehow sadistically and gleefully made me feel inferior, that they " re getting off on being superior, that they " re mocking me and ridiculing me, that they have scorn and contempt for me and find it all very amusing. That - whether real or imagined (usually imagined) - is what causes my rage. " Pursuing Relationships with Narcissists "There are some very few of us who actually seek out relationships with narcissists. We do this with the full knowledge that we are not wanted, despised even. We persist and pursue no matter the consequences, no matter the cost.

      I am an "Inverted Narcissist." It is because as a child I was "imprinted / fixated " with a particular pattern involving relationships. I was engulfed so completely by my father's personality and repressed so severely by various other factors in my childhood that I simply didn't develop a recognizable personality. I existed purely as an extension of my father. I was his genius "wunderkind." He ignored my mother and poured all his energy and effort into me.

      I did not develop full-blown secondary narcissism... I developed into the perfect "other half" of the narcissists molding me. I became the perfect, eager co-dependent. And this is an imprint, a pattern in my psyche, a way of (not) relating to the world of relationships by only being able to truly relate to one person (my father) and then one kind of person - the narcissist. He is my perfect lover, my perfect mate, a fit that is so slick and smooth, so comfortable and effortless, so filled with meaning and actual feelings - that's the other thing.

      I cannot feel on my own. I am incomplete. I can only feel when I am engulfed by another (first it was my father) and now - well now it has to be a narcissist. Not just any narcissist either.

      He must be exceedingly smart, good looking, have adequate reproductive equipment and some knowledge on how to use it and that's about it. When I am engulfed by someone like this I feel completed, I can actually FEEL. I am whole again. I function as a sibyl, an oracle, an extension of the narcissist.

      His fiercest protector, his purveyor / procurer of NS, the secretary, organizer, manager, etc. I think you get the picture and this gives me INTENSE PLEASURE. So the answer to your question: "Why would anyone want to be with someone who doesn't want them back?" The short answer is, "Because there is no one else remotely worth looking at." Making Amends "I mostly apologize, and I give the person space to talk about what hurt them so that (1) they get to express their anger or hurt to me, and (2) I can understand better and know better how not to hurt them (if I can avoid it) the next time there's a conflict. Sometimes the hurt I cause is unintentional - maybe I've been insensitive or for


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