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The Effects of Divorce on Children This paper will investigate the effects of divorce on children and it will focus on different ages of children and the effect on there lives. The information in this paper was gathered in the spring of 2001. A. 1. The effects of divorce on toddlers, and preschooler. 2. The effects of divorce on preteens and adolescents. 3.
The effect of living in stepparent or single parent home. B. The purpose of the study was to show how children are affected at different ages and how it effects them as they grow up. This is useful research for parents who are thinking about getting divorced. If they know how there children are going to react ahead of time this will assist them in dealing with this problem.
Also this could be helpful for the children themselves that may be having feelings that they have not experienced before about there family and this could help them realize that they are not alone. C. This study was limited to the resources on hand at the UNT library. D. 1. Toddlers (De Bord, 1997) are the second group. They know that they do not live with both parents but they cannot grasp the reason why.
Toddlers that are going through this may experience a worsened terrible twos syndrome. This can include difficulty sleeping and growing up. Growing up means to move away from infantile behaviors and to become more independent. The toddler might be afraid that if the custodial parent leaves, even to go to work, that he / she may never come back. The child may become attached to the custodial parent and cry excessively when he / she leaves, even for a moment. The toddler might cause problems in day care or other facilities such as throwing tantrums or biting (De Bord, 1997).
The next group are preschoolers (De Bord, 1997). These children cannot comprehend what divorce means but they know that they do not see one parent as often as the other. One of the biggest effects on this age group are nightmares. This age group often feels guilty because he / she might think that they were the reason for one parent leaving. A preschooler may worry about what will happen next and / or become angry at the custodial parent. The child may blame the custodial parent for the other parent not being there (De Bord, 1997). 2.
As the children grow, or if they were already an adolescent at the time, the divorce can impact numerous areas in their individual life attitudes. Divorce can affect children s attitudes on pre-marital sex, cohabitation, marriage and divorce (Axinn and Thorton). In a study of 131 divorced children, it was shown that one in four of them spiraled into drug and alcohol use by the time they were fourteen years old. However, several kids in a comparison group also abused substances, but rarely before the age of fourteen (Wallerstein et al. 188). Another trend in the study of divorced kids showed that it is common for girls to become promiscuous at a young age. The promiscuity can continue as the girls grow into womanhood.
For some women sex brings the feeling of comfort and being wanted. For others it s a type of revenge against men, they get pleasure from using them and then leaving them (Wallerstein et al. 188 - 9). This leads one to assume that many of the women who have experienced divorce in their lives are troubled and confused about their feelings. Anger, substance abuse, sexual promiscuity, numbness, and becoming a caregiver child are all examples of the situations that children of divorce may experience. But as time passes and children grow, the effects of divorce seem to continually surface throughout their lives. In the research that I have done throughout this paper, I feel that the most lasting affect that divorce ultimately has on children is the fear of failure they experience in their own marriages.
The difficulty they have in feeling secure, even in the most loving and stable relationships. 3. So, are children better off in a single-parent home, or in step families? According to the Child Health Supplement to the National Health Interview Survey, the problems of children in step families, and children from single-parent homes were not much different. However, neither were doing as good as the children living in a home with both biological parents (Furstenberg and Cherlin 89). Of course, every stepfamily situation is different. Many stepparents and can develop a satisfying relationship with minor conflicts.
A couple determining factors that can affect the outcome of a stepfamily includes the age of the children at the time of remarriage, and the ability of all the adults involved to handle difficult situations. No matter what the end result of the divorce arrangement is, single-parent home, joint custody, or remarriage into a stepfamily, most people will agree that the children will suffer with emotions such as anger, sadness, and confusion when their parents split. Still, short-term reactions to divorce vary among children; including those children that come from the same family. Part of this variation has to do with each child s individual temperament and their ability to cope with stressful situations (Furstenberg and Cherlin 67). Unfortunately, many kids lack the emotional skills that are needed to adjust. One research showed that when measuring mental health, children of divorced parents had more issues with withdrawal, dependency, inattention, and unhappiness, plus less work effort than the kids who came from intact families (Zinsmeister).
According to the National Survey of Children, 30 percent of the kids who experienced divorce by the age of eight had been to some sort of therapy by the time they were teenagers. Sometime these psychological problems run deeper. A large number of the adolescents in mental hospitals have gone through divorce, in fact, more than 80 percent of patients have at some point in their lives. (Zinsmeister). Of course one would have to believe that a lot more has gone on in these kids lives than just divorce to drive them to such serious treatments.
E. It is evident that divorce will have an effect on all children involved. It may not affect all children in the same way, or to the same degree of severity. Some people may even argue about how much blame can be placed on the events of divorce for the troubles that the children endure.
Even so, one can walk away from a non-violent marriage and think; This is good for the kids. I would like to say that there is one very important action that parents can take to help their children throughout the years that follow the divorce. Be there for them. Spend as much time with them as possible, more time than you did prior to the divorce. Children of divorce need extra support, comfort, care and attention. There is no magical solution for getting children through this process unscathed, but one should remember to put them first.
And let them keep their childhood. Work Cited Axinn, William G. , and Arland Thorton. The Influence of Parents? Marital Dissolutions on Children Attitudes Toward Family Formation?
Demography v. 3 Feb. 1996. 66 - 81. Wilson Select Plus. 29 Nov. 2000. Debord, James F. The Children s Thoughts. New England: The Upton Press, 1989 Furstenberg, Frank F. , and Andrew J. Cherlin.
Divided Families. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Harvard University Press, 1991. Gaston, William A. Divorce American Style? The Public Interest no 124. 12 - 26. Wilson Select Plus. 29 Nov. 2000.
Kitson, Gay C. , and William M. Holmes. Portrait of Divorce. New York: The Guilford Press, 1992. Wallerstein, Judith S. et al.
The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce. New York: Hyperion, 2000. Zinner, Roz. Point Physical Custody: Smart Solution or Big Problem? ? Divorce Helpline. 12 Dec. 2000. Zinsmeister, Karl.
Divorce Toll on Children? The American Enterprise v. 7 May/June 1996. 39 - 44.
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Research essay sample on Divorce On Children Effects Of Divorce
