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Example research essay topic: Forms Of Parent Child Relationships - 683 words

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Forms of parent / child relationships Each person wants to feel that what he or she says or wants is important to the other. Each wants to be listened to and included in discussions and decisions. This sense of personal power promotes feelings of self-worth and respect for the other person. Influence is an important issue in parent-child relationships. Fathers as well as mothers want their children to listen to them and to obey their limits. Occasionally parents have to exert control over their children's behavior.

They may allow no debate over whether a child can stick gum on furniture, play with matches, or sit on the car while someone is underneath changing the oil. While parents have to be reasonably firm at times, there are occasions when they might yield to their children's wishes and grant permission for safe, enjoyable activities. Giving children privacy, letting them choose their own clothes, and allowing them to make their own purchases with their allowances are examples of giving influence to children. When they show respect for their children's wishes but also set and maintain reasonable limits, parents send another clear and emphatic message: I care enough about you to provide you with the guidance you must have to grow up to be a happy and responsible person. I will use my strength to protect and nurture you. But I am also interested in what you think is important for yourself.

I will gradually let you make more and more decisions on your own so that by the time you reach adulthood, you will be able to care fully for yourself. I respect you, and I know I am worthy of your respect. Children want their parents to be strong. They need to feel protected from a sometimes threatening world and from their own immaturity and loss of control. But they do not want to be overwhelmed by their parents' dominance. For their own self-respect, children need a measure of personal influence.

Children both admire and fear their father's strength. On one hand they want their father to be strong and powerful (in the sense of being self-confident and determined) but they may also be frightened at times by that power. Walking the middle ground between dominance and permissiveness can sometimes be difficult for a father. When people feel accepted and respected in a relationship, they will begin to develop close feelings of mutual affection. Parents who are never involved with their children and are either too permissive or too dominant are not likely to become close to their children. Fathers who expect to be constantly vigilant disciplinarians who show no tenderness create a climate of coldness that puts distance in their relationships.

Sometimes the effect can be painful. A parent-child relationship might be compared to a bank account. Every negative act - a frown, a slap, a "no" or "I'm busy" - is like a withdrawal from the account. In contrast, affectionate, caring actions are like deposits in the relationship account.

If the withdrawals exceed the deposits, the relationship breaks down into mutual distrust and isolation - it becomes bankrupt. Fathers who have to make a large number of withdrawals can do so if their deposits of warmth, support and nurturance are high enough. Fathers can be both tough when necessary and tender when needed. There are many ways in which men can express their affection for their children.

Some may feel comfortable talking with their children. Others may let their actions reveal their feelings. Some expressions, like hugging, are obvious while others, like quiet self-sacrifice, are subtler. There is a danger in letting our actions speak for themselves: subtle forms of affection can easily be overlooked or misinterpreted. Words can enrich what we do by making our actions more easily understood by others. Children sometimes need to hear their father say "I love you" to fully appreciate what he does for them.

On the other hand, words not backed by action may sound hollow and false. Every father will develop his own style of showing affection in his relationships with others in his family.


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Research essay sample on Forms Of Parent Child Relationships

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