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"Talking From 9 to 5 " concept discussion Your project was without a hitch but someone else obtained the credit... You prevented a crisis excellently but nobody perceived... You appeared at the meeting with a sensational thought but it was neglected until someone else explained he same idea Are the situations familiar to you? Why your achievements at workplace are so belittled?
Traditional understanding of men's and women's parts are changing, with women more and more putting their careers first. Nevertheless there is still an invisible obstacle - well-known as the "glass ceiling" - that hinders women to rise to the top steps of their professional "ladder." It was supposed so serious an issue in the USA that a Glass Ceiling Commission was formed as part of the Civil Rights Act of 1991. Though in the NHS, only 16 % of all consultants are women, the statistics which demonstrates little sign of improvement. getting heard and getting ahead Tough relations between getting heard and getting ahead. Comprehending how men and women talk to one another is at the basis of the issue explains Deborah Tannen, a professor of linguistics at Georgetown University and an author of famous book Talking From 9 to 5. Dr.
Tannen changed forever the way we look at close relations between women and men. She opens the realm of any workplace and demonstrates readers how they are too often foreigners to one another. In Talking From 9 to 5 she takes under keen consideration relations in the workplace, where the ways men and women communication can contribute to getting heard and getting ahead. The author excellently demonstrates women's and men's conversational rites - and those language obstacles we usually inadvertently erect on the professional road.
She explains in detail that men's and women's applying different rites in their talks put limits on women's success and appreciation in the workplace. I think Talking From 9 to 5 is an uncommon and useful handbook for perceiving those communicative power games and misunderstanding that result in underestimating or un noticing of good work; thus, it's an important tool for contributing to more favorable and professional relations among men and women. There can not be superior or inferior conversational styles there exist just different ones. Tannen says that there can't be any style of speaking that is considered as superior in all situations, fully understanding that differences in ethnicity, geography, personality, class, and gender impact the communicative process in the workplace. The author provides information that will highly influence those who are competing with colleagues or other companies, and will surely assist both individuals and companies to succeed in a business world composed of more and more various work forces and competitive markets. Demonstrating real-life examples of conversational styles and being guided by anthropology, sociology, and psychology Tannen is sure that the problem is a result of a collision of conversational styles.
There are situations when a person might prefer a straightforward colleague or boss. There are also situations when a person likes a delicate co-worker who often softens and dodges Dr. Tannen argues that right way of conversing doesn't exist. Though difference in our speaking styles can result in frustration, misunderstanding, and friction in the workplace. Woman's striving for a) equality, b) tolerance, c) tact. Women, Tannen argues, try to apply rites which keep the outward appearance of equality.
They evade boasting, and underestimate their power - usually changing their speech to take into consideration the effect of what they are saying on the other person's feelings. They make excuses more often - expressing the understanding or sorrow rather than trying to take on any kind of blame - and also they ask more questions, which men are inclined to understand as a sign of failure. Men's belligerence and self-confidence as a basic precondition Men's rites imply more often use of fighting styles, providing arguments without any attempt to realize the other's point of view. They frequently apply skittish put-downs and jokes to obtain a dominant position. Tannen argues that these differences appear in early childhood, when all boys and girls try to take on different parts in groups. Boys' aim is to dominate, while talking over girls or sneering at them, and girls usually find it hard to make their voices heard.
Grown-up men are usually associated with power and sometimes just because they are bigger and have deeper voices. Though the reason is not just appearance. Tannen's idea is that men's typical rites have appeared out of the postulate that all relations must be intrinsically hierarchical. Consequently to their mind there is no reason to underestimate their authority, let others obtain it, or stand back and just to give an opportunity to others to dominate. She mentions the techniques that women apply to overcome these obstacles, like speaking longer and more loudly than usual or jumping up early in order to make a point.
I really appreciate Tannen's concept of meta-communication, talking about communication with our colleagues so we can see where theyre coming from. Female weak points Though published in 1994, the book still echoes concerns we have today for women in the workplace. Although one should never generalize, Tannen says women do tend to be more indirect when speaking. They might use a suggestive tone instead of giving direct orders. They might feign misunderstanding and apologize in order to give hints to their subordinates about performing tasks. But the superiors could interpret this conversational style as signs of poor leadership and incompetence.
In a competitive business environment, its important for a worker to get heard and get credit for what theyve done. For indirect people, or for people who work quietly, the lack of getting credit pretty much also means a lack of achievement. Its always the same people talking in a meeting. Male prejudices In so-called male professions the women who achieved success by applying a more characteristically male conversational style usually are labeled as hostile, despite the same conversational style in a man is considered as just official or formal.
Thus, what is the way for a woman to succeed in a workplace with a male domination not being labeled as a bitch? Tannen discussed issues such as women as objects of display, judged by their appearance. Coming across as too sexy? What a seductive bitch. Coming across as too confident? What a power-hungry-tripping bitch.
Whatever the women do, theres a way to label them negatively. Men do not need to worry too much about their appearance. Theres only so many ways of doing the short hair and fooling with the tie. The issue of glass ceiling is still a joke today.
A big corporation just needs a black woman to sit like a mute on the executive board. It takes care of the race and gender issues at the same time. Terrible impacts of miscommunication An excellent Tannen's example of the power of roles affect communication is when she describes a conversation that was recorded between the pilot and co-pilot of a commercial airplane shortly before a fatal crash: "The co-pilot knew that something was wrong, but he was unable to directly tell the pilot, the authority figure... The co-pilot repeatedly called the pilot's attention to dangerous conditions but did not directly suggest that they abort the takeoff. " Unfortunately, the pilot did not correctly interpret the co-pilot's hints. The results of this miscommunication were tragic. In a subsequent analysis of numerous flight-crew conversations, Tannen reports that "it was typical for the speech of subordinates to be more mitigated. " A person of lower status tends to have more difficulty speaking up in the presence of a person of higher status.
The results of miscommunication can be tragic. Collision of styles in practice The impact of culture on the thoughts, feelings and attitudes of people is profoundly severe in the business world. Tannen described well the different patterns in the way males and females express their thoughts and feelings: Amy was a manager with a problem: She had just read a final report written by Donald, and she felt it was woefully inadequate. She faced the unsavory task of telling him to do it over. When she met with Donald, she made sure to soften the blow by beginning with praise, telling him everything about his report that was good. Then she went on to explain what was lacking and what needed to be done to make it acceptable.
She was pleased with the diplomatic way she had managed to deliver the bad news. Thanks to her thoughtfulness in starting with praise, Donald was able to listen to the criticism and seemed to understand what was needed. But when the revised report appeared on her desk, Amy was shocked. Donald had made only minor, superficial changes, and none of the necessary ones. The next meeting with him did not go well.
He was incensed that she was now telling him his report was not acceptable and accused her of having misled him. "You told me before it was fine, " he protested. Amy thought she had been diplomatic; Donald thought she had been dishonest. The praise she intended to soften the message "This is unacceptable" sounded to him like the message itself: "This is fine. " So what she regarded as the main point - the needed changes - came across to him as optional suggestions, because he had already registered her praise as the main point. She felt he hadn't listened to her.
He thought she had changed her mind and was making him pay the price. Work days are filled with conversations about getting the job done. Most of these conversations succeed, but too many end in impasses like this. It could be that Amy is a capricious boss whose wishes are whims, and it could be that Donald is a temperamental employee who can't hear criticism no matter how it is phrased. But I don't think either was the case in this instance. I believe this was one of innumerable misunderstandings caused by differences in conversational style.
Amy delivered the criticism in a way that seemed to her self-evidently considerate, a way she would have preferred to receive criticism herself: taking into account the other person's feelings, making sure he knew that her ultimate negative assessment of his report didn't mean she had no appreciation of his abilities. She offered the praise as a sweetener to help the nasty-tasting news go down. But Donald didn't expect criticism to be delivered in that way, so he mistook the praise as her overall assessment rather than a preamble to it. (pp. 21 - 22) Whether the differences between the voice of men and women are, in part, genetic or entirely a consequence of the socialization differences for males and females, the consequences are that real differences do exist in how males and females converse and how they interact with others. Given that management has been dominated for most of history by males, women who seek to succeed in management face a glass ceiling.
Tannen described it this way: Here is a brief explanation of how conversational-style differences play a role in along a glass ceiling. When decisions are made about promotion to management positions, the qualities sought are a high level of competence, decisiveness, and ability to lead. If it is men, or mostly men, who are making the decisions about promotions - as it usually is - they are likely to misinterpret women's ways of talking as showing indecisiveness, inability to assume authority, and even incompetence. All the conversational-style differences discussed thus far can work against women who use them in an office setting. For example, a woman who feels it is crucial to preserve the appearance of consensus when making decisions because she feels anything else would appear bossy and arrogant begins by asking those around her for their opinions.
This can be interpreted by her bosses as evidence that she doesn't know what she thinks should be done, that she is trying to get others to make decisions for her. Again and again, I heard from women who knew they were doing a superior job and knew that their immediate co-workers knew it, but the higher-ups did not. Either these women did not seem to be doing what was necessary to get recognition outside their immediate circle, or their superiors were not doing what was necessary to discern their achievements and communicate these upward. The kinds of things they were doing, like quietly coming up with the ideas that influenced their groups and helping those around them to do their best, were not easily observed in the way that giving an impressive presentation is evident to all. (Female "we" and male "I") Even so small a linguistic strategy as the choice of pronouns can have the effect of making one's contributions more or less salient. It is not uncommon for many men to say "I" in situations where many women would say "we. " One man told me, "I'm hiring a new manager; I'm going to put him in charge of my marketing division, " as if he owned the corporation he worked for and was going to pay the manager's salary himself. Another talked about the work produced by all the members of his group in the same way: "This is what I've come up with on the Lake hill deal. " In stark contrast, I heard a woman talking about what "we" had done, but on questioning, discovered that it was really she alone who had done the work.
By talking in a way that seemed to her appropriate to avoid sounding arrogant, she was inadvertently camouflaging her achievements and lessening the chances they would be recognized. (pp. 136 - 137) I think Tannen's answer is that both men and women should be more flexible and understanding. Sounds easy enough, and Talking from 9 to 5 may help some women who are stuck in middle grade jobs to understand why and make them more sympathetic to their colleagues and bosses. But I suspect that it will do little to influence men in authority, whose rituals themselves prevent them from empathizing. Overcoming this is a much harder task and one that Tannen barely touches on.
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