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... yams makes a husband a double-tongued man' (30). The husband's role is not easy if the co-wives do not get on well with each other. He may be seen to favor one more than the others. In this case he could be rebuked with a proverb like: 'This polygamist ploughs one field only' (31). This could indicate that in fact the husband provokes the co-wives to show jealousy, when they realize that he favors one more than the others.
The fact that jealousy may arise in polygamous families is not basis enough to condemn polygamy as such. There are many happy polygamous families just as there are even more unhappy monogamous families. Indeed, there are proverbs that show and urge respect for polygamous families. For example: 'Uncriticised, are you the senior wife?' (32), used by the Lugbara, to remind people that the senior wife is the focus of highest respect in the family, but she too is not perfect and if need be can also be criticized. In any case she has more respect by being a co-wife than she would have if she were the only wife (in a monogamous family). It is said in Kenya: 'Axes carried in the same bag cannot avoid rattling', to mean among other things, that it is not so terrible if co-wives 'rattle' with each other.
Indeed, a proverb from the Tsonga of southern Africa can be applied to support the 'value' or 'necessity' of co-wives: 'A pole is strengthened by another pole' (33). If women in African society would have found polygamy to be unbearable, the custom would have long ago. One proverb reminds us that in such families there are mutual support and love and care: 'The way to overcome cold is to warm each other' (34). e) There are also prejudices shown to women in African societies.
It is amazing, that similar prejudices are found in other societies of the world. I give here some examples of proverbs of prejudice or judgment towards women. Among the Tsonga-Shangana people of southern Africa, some women earn the remark: 'This woman is fire', or 'This woman is a deceitful and ferocious crocodile' (35). Even the beauty of women may earn them remarks like: 'Do not desire a woman with beautiful breast, if you have no money!' (36), to mean that beautiful women are expensive to win and maintain. The Gikuyu in Kenya say: 'Women, like the weather, are unpredictable', and 'Women have no secure gourds, but only leaking upside down ones' (37). The second of these means that 'women are given to letting out secrets.
You can't trust women with secrets'. In a beautiful expression the same point is made using the proverb: 'Woman, remember that the mouth is sometimes covered with a branch' (38), to mean that she cannot keep a secret. It is thought that women ruin men. So the Maasai remind us: 'The prostitute can make you useless' (39), of course without saying what men do to women! The Maasai also accuse the women of being short-sighted by saying that: 'A woman cannot see her palm' (40). In Uganda the Acholi complain that: 'Women have no chiefs' (41), to mean that 'women cannot allow another woman to be superior.
In another sense, a chief is not a chief to his own wife or wives, or even to other women'. Naturally, when the men occupy so many of the superior positions in society, what more is left for women? The woman is often blamed for disputes in a marriage. So there are proverbs in Tanzania for example, which say: 'A lazy wife does not miss going to her parents frequently', or 'The good wife at her husband's home, the other one is at her parents' home' (42). But what happens to lazy men, or do they not exist?
Women are also accused of domineering their husbands (whatever the realities may actually be): 'No man is a hero to his wife' (43). Men complain that they cannot understand women. So the Ghanaian's say: 'When women increase in wealth, they are silent. But when they fall into trouble, the whole world gets to know. ' In another saying we hear that: 'In a town where there are no men, even women praise a hunch back for being the fastest runner' (44) There are men (and women) who fear women, considering them to be dangerous.
So we hear proverbs like: 'To marry is to put a snake in one's handbag', and even to take up contact with women is an evasive undertaking: 'One does not follow the footprints in the water' (45), which means that 'following a woman is like footprints in water', because 'the way soon vanishes'. It is even claimed that words of women have no legal value, they are not reliable: 'Women have no court' (46). They even ruin men: 'Marriage roasts (hardens) ' (47), is said to mean that a man's heart hardens after marriage, because of his wife. Even beautiful women get a share of prejudice: 'Beautiful from behind, ugly in front' (48), a proverb which warns that a person may look attractive or say nice words at first, but after marriage turns out to be really ugly. f) In spite of these and other prejudices, there are many beautiful things said about women. Some of these we have already encountered.
Men will fight over women - to show how much they value the women concerned. So in Ghana we hear that: 'Two bosom friends that vie one and the same lady have chosen a common read to be each other's enemy' (49). Compared to a man, the woman is more precious: 'The woman is a banana tree (which multiplies itself); the man however, is a cornstalk (which stands alone) ' (50). It is also from Ghana where we have the beautiful comparison and mutual complement between the wife and the husband: 'Woman is a flower in a garden; her husband, the fence around it' (51). So the women need all the protection that men can give them. For this reason the Lugbara say: 'The man dies in the wind, the woman in the house' (52).
The woman and the man belong together, can and do love each other, they need each other. In Lugbara proverb we are told: 'The woman is the rib of man' (53), a statement which is parallel to the Biblical creation story in Genesis 2, 21 - 22. The Akamba warn against the danger of remaining unmarried: 'He who eats alone, dies alone' -- he leaves neither wife nor posterity to remember him in the world of the living. 3. WOMEN AND PRAYERS In traditional African life women play a significant role in the religious activities of society. One of the areas where this role is prominent is in offering prayers for their families in particular and their communities in general.
In many areas there were (and still are) women priests (priestesses); almost everywhere in Africa the mediums (who are so important in traditional medical practice) are nearly always women; those who experience spirit possession are in most cases also women. Traditional healing is a profession of both men and women and it is more often the women practitioners who handle children's and other women medical needs (54). A women's morning prayer runs: 'Morning has risen; God, take away from us every pain, every ill, every mishap; God, let us come safely home' (55). In this prayer the woman brings before God her family and hands it over to God, believing that He will keep away all evil. It is a Pygmy prayer. A litany for a sick child is offered by women, addressing it especially to the departed members of the family who are thought to exercise healing power especially by conveying the request to God.
It comes from the Aro of Sierra Leone. Mother prays: ' 0 spirits of the past, this little one I hold is my child; she is your child also, therefore, be gracious unto her'...
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Research essay sample on Men And Women Southern Africa
