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As human beings, we often spend our entire lives looking for our "soul mate. " This being the unfortunate plight of our human nature, we live to be loved. In response to this need for love and companionship, the institution of marriage was brought into existence. The idea of a "perfect" wedding has drastically changed over the years. However, if we examine history, we will find that no other era was as influential towards marriage as the Middle Ages. One might say the Medieval marriages were the building blocks to what marriage is today.
The appropriate age to get married in the Middle Ages was much younger than what we see today. "Grooms, on the average, were much older than their brides. Noble women sometimes didn't marry until the age of twenty-four, but this was rare. More that three-fourths were married before they reached nineteen" (Medieval Weddings). Couples married as soon as they reached maturity or were able to have children. Love, however important to many couples, was not seen as a necessity as it is today.
This is a result of the Medieval belief that the sole purpose of marriage was to reproduce. Most couples weren't married by choice, rather the majority of marriages were arranged. In fact, most marriages were arranged between families (Gies 14). Perhaps the marriage arrangements were merely a way to keep the Medieval marriage traditions alive.
This custom allowed families control over who their children spent the rest of their lives with. Marriage laws in the Middle Ages were very strict, yet to the point. Each marriage custom had laws to go along with it; if these laws were not upheld, legal action could be taken. "The council of Westminister decreed in 1076 that no man should give his daughter or female relative to anyone without priestly blessing. Later councils would decree that marriage should not be secret but held in the open" (Medieval Weddings). Here we see how marriage became a public confession of two people's love for one another. Today, as in the Middle Ages, witnesses are always present at a wedding to ensure that it's valid.
Many of the wedding customs followed by medieval couples are still carried out today. Even in Medieval marriage vows, the couple's promise to each other was sealed with a kiss which symbolized their bond with each other. "Many village couples saw no need for more than a kiss and a promise, which left room for debate over the nature of the alleged promise" (Gies 113 - 114). Sealing wedding vows with a kiss is a tradition that has carried on through the years and most likely will for generations to come. Perhaps one of the most misconstrued facts about Medieval weddings is the idea that the bride always wore white. Contrary to popular belief, many Medieval brides didn't wear white. Blue was the traditional symbol for purity.
The bride and groom would each wear a band of blue ribbon (Medieval Weddings). It was frowned upon if the bride and groom did not follow this dress code. Modern weddings are known to have many different color variations and schemes, but most couples prefer to continue with the Medieval or traditional style. Like modern women, beauty was very important to Medieval brides. Brides would spend countless hours preparing themselves for the event of a wedding. "Every part of a woman's face would be painted with some type of cosmetic. Many women in the Middle Ages would pluck their hairline, giving them a higher forehead.
A wedding might be the one time a woman would wear her hair loose" (Medieval Weddings). Plucking one's hairline was a very popular Medieval trend. To many, a high forehead was a sign of beauty and wealth. Contrary to popular belief, people in the Middle Ages actually liked to bathe. However, because of the cost of firewood, bathing was a luxury enjoyed primarily by the rich. "As forests became depleted, firewood became expensive and the rising costs of heating the water forced most of the bathhouses to close. Perfume became an easy, quick fix for those who could not bathe" (Medieval Weddings).
Medieval beauty may have been simple, but it was very important, especially in major events such as weddings. The Medieval people were very superstitious and often incorporated their beliefs into daily life routine. These superstitious people believed in symbols of luck and prosperity. Weddings were notorious for symbolism and charms. Brides would wear symbolic jewelry and flowers. "Precious stones held deep meanings for people during the Middle Ages. Wearing one or more of these stones let others know of personal characteristics, hopes, and beliefs.
There were some Renaissance traditions of carrying a small bouquet of herbs for luck and fertility" (Medieval Weddings). Even today one rarely sees a bride walk down the isle without a bouquet. Like modern day brides, Medieval brides also wore a garter which they would throw with their bouquets. The brides tossed their garter, and onlookers would try to catch it, believing that a peice of the bridal attire was a lucky token (Medieval Wedding Theme Planning). You see this in many modern weddings, although today most brides give the garter to the groom as a keep sake. Like families today, Medieval families of the brid eworld pay for the wedding expenses. "The bride's family was responsible for the daughter's dowry, in effect, purchasing a groom for her.
The grow's family was responsible for providing the couple with a suitable home and income" (Medieval Weddings). When an arranged marriage took place, many times the families would plan for years. The would often have a very large sum of money saved for the special event. The role of wives has definitely changed over the years. A Medieval wife was like a servant of child.
She was a dependent member of her husband's household. The husband could even discipline his wife, just as he would a child or servant (Singman 29). This, however, was a common scenario for Medieval couples and was accepted without question. Even trough all the brutality wives endured, no one was allowed to get divorced in the Middle Ages.
Divorced was not permitted. A marriage might be annulled only in certain situations. If the marriage was invalid in the first place or if it was never consummated by sexual union. A couple could be separated in cases such as sultry (Singman 29). Although many married couples had their problems, they did not speak out about them. Medieval couples generally kept their problems to themselves, often times leading to extreme pain and sorrow within the marriage.
Although very different, Medieval an d modern marriages have their similarities. Hundreds of years later, marriage remains a ceremony anticipated by millions. Marriage is still a very important part of life that allows many people to share happiness with someone they love. Marriage is the perfect example that life is worth living if you have someone to life for.
Works Cited Gies, Joseph & Frances. Life in a Medieval Village. New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 1991. Medieval Weddings. 8 October 2002. < web > "Medieval Weddings." Medieval Wedding Theme Planning. 8 October 2002. < web Singman, Jeffrey. Daily Life in Medieval Europe. Westport: Greenwood Press, 1999.
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