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... ng emotional data). It is also dependent on the relationship between the representations of the Self and real, external, "objective" Objects. Add to this instinctual conflicts related both to the Libido and to aggression (these very strong emotions give rise to strong conflicts in the child) and a comprehensive explanation concerning the formation of pathological Narcissism emerges. Kernberg's concept of Self is closely related to Freud's concept of Ego. The Self is dependent upon the unconscious, which exerts a constant influence on all mental functions.
Pathological Narcissism, therefore, reflects a libidinal investment in a pathologically structured Self and not in a normal, integrative structure of the Self. The Narcissist suffers from a Self, which is devalued or fixated on aggression. All object relations of such a Self are distorted: it detaches them from the real Objects (because they hurt him often), dissociates, represses, or projects them unto others. Narcissism is not merely a fixation on an early developmental stage. It is not confined to the failure to develop intra-psychic structures.
It is an active, libidinal investment in a deformed structure of the Self. H. The Narcissist's family "For very young children, self-esteem is probably best thought to consist of deep feelings of being loved, accepted, and valued by significant others rather than of feelings derived from evaluating oneself against some external criteria, as in the case of older children. Indeed, the only criterion appropriate for accepting and loving a newborn or infant is that he or she has been born. The unconditional love and acceptance experienced in the first year or two of life lay the foundation for later self-esteem, and probably make it possible for the preschooler and older child to withstand occasional criticism and negative evaluations that usually accompany socialization into the larger community. As children grow beyond the preschool years, the larger society imposes criteria and conditions upon love and acceptance.
If the very early feelings of love and acceptance are deep enough, the child can most likely weather the rebuffs and scoldings of the later years without undue debilitation. With increasing age, however, children begin to internalize criteria of self-worth and a sense of the standards to be attained on the criteria from the larger community they observe and in which they are beginning to participate. The issue of criteria of self-esteem is examined more closely below. Cassidy's (1988) study of the relationship between self-esteem at age five and six years and the quality of early mother-child attachment supports Bowlby's theory that construction of the self is derived from early daily experience with attachment figures. The results of the study support Bowlby's conception of the process through which continuity in development occurs, and of the way early child-mother attachment continues to influence the child's conception and estimation of the self across many years. The working models of the self derived from early mother-child inter-action organize and help mold the child's environment "by seeking particular kinds of people and by eliciting particular behavior from them" (Cassidy, 1988, p. 133).
Cassidy points out that very young children have few means of learning about themselves other than through experience with attachment figures. She suggests that if infants are valued and given comfort when required, they come to feel valuable; conversely, if they are neglected or rejected, they come to feel worthless and of little value. In an examination of developmental considerations, Bear, Wells, and Peterson (1989) suggest that feelings of competence and the self-esteem associated with them are enhanced in children when their parents provide an optimum mixture of acceptance, affection, rational limits and controls, and high expectations. In a similar way, teachers are likely to engender positive feelings when they provide such a combination of acceptance, limits, and meaningful and realistic expectations concerning behavior and effort (Labor et al. , 1991).
Similarly, teachers can provide contexts for such an optimum mixture of acceptance, limits, and meaningful effort in the course of project work as described by Katz and Chard (1989). " (Distinctions between Self-Esteem and Narcissism: Implications for Practice ERIC database) Kohut, as we said, regarded Narcissism as the final product of the failing efforts of parents to cope with the needs of the child to idealize and to be grandiose (for instance, to be omnipotent). Idealization is an important developmental path leading to Narcissism. The child merges the idealized aspects of the images of the parent (Imago in his terminology) with those wide sectors of the image of the parent which are catheter (infused) with object libido ( = in which the child invests the energy that he reserves to Objects). This exerts an enormous and all-important influence on the re-internalization processes ( = the processes in which the child re-introduced the Objects and their images into his mind) which are right for each of the successive phases. Through these processes, two permanent nuclei of the personality are constructed: a.
The basic, neutralizing texture of the psyche and b. The ideal Superego Both of them are characterized by an invested instinctual Narcissistic cathexis ( = invested energy of self-love which is instinctual in its nature). At first, the child idealizes his parents. As he grows, he begins to notice their shortcomings and vices. He withdraws part of the idealizing libido from the images of the parents, which is conducive to the natural development of the Superego. The Narcissistic sector in the child's psyche remains vulnerable throughout its development.
This is largely true until the Child re-internalizes the ideal parent image. Also, the very construction of the mental apparatus can be tampered with by traumatic deficiencies and by object losses right through the Oedipal period (and even in latency and in adolescence). The same effect can be attributed to traumatic disappointment by objects. Disturbances leading to the formation of NPD can be thus grouped: 1. Very early disturbances in the relationship with an ideal object. These lead to structural weakness of the personality which develops a deficient and / or dysfunctional stimuli filtering mechanism.
The ability of the individual to maintain a basic Narcissistic homeostasis of the personality is damaged. Such a person will suffer from diffusive Narcissistic vulnerability. 2. A disturbance occurring later in life - but still pre-Oedipal - will effect the pre-Oedipal formation of the basic fabric of the control, channeling and neutralizing of drives and urges. The nature of the disturbance has to be a traumatic encounter with the ideal object (such as a major disappointment). The symptomatic manifestation of this structural defect is the propensity to re - sexuality drive derivatives and internal and external conflicts either in the form of fantasies or in the form of deviant acts. 3. A disturbance formed in the Oedipal or even in the early latent phases - inhibits the completion of the Superego idealization.
This is especially true of a disappointment related to an ideal object of the late Pre-Oedipal and the Oedipal stages, where the partly idealized external parallel of the newly internalized object is traumatically destroyed. Such a person will possess a set of values and standards - but he will forever look for ideal external figures from whom he will aspire to derive the affirmation and the leadership that his insufficiently idealized Superego cannot supply. Everyone agrees that a loss (real or perceived) at a critical junction in the psychological development of the Child - forces him to refer to himself for nurturing and for gratification. The Child ceases to trust others and his ability to develop object love or to idealize is hampered. He is constantly shadowed by the feeling that only he can satisfy his emotional needs and he regards. The Narcissist is born into a dysfunctional family.
It is characterized by massive denials, both internal ("you do not have a real problem, you are only pretending") and external ("you must never tell the secrets of the family to anyone"). The whole family unit suffers from an affective dysfunction. It leads to affective and other personality disorders displayed by all the members of the family and ranging from obsessive - compulsive disorders to hypochondriasis and depression. Such families are reclusive and autarkic. They actively reject and encourage the rejection of social contacts. This inevitably leads to defective or partial socialization and differentiation and to problems with sexual identity.
This attitude is sometimes applied even to other members of the extended family. The nuclear family feels emotionally or financially deprived or threatened by them. It reacts with envy, rejection, self-isolation and rage. Constant aggression and violence are permanent features of such families. The violence can be verbal (degradation, humiliation) and up to severe cases of psychological, physical and sexual abuse. Trying to rationalize and intellectualize its unique position and to justify it, the family resorts to emphasizing logic, cost effectiveness, and calculations of feasibility.
It is a transactional approach to life and it regards knowledge as an expression of superiority and as an advantage. These families encourage excellence - mainly cerebral and academic - but only as means to an end. The end is usually highly Narcissistic ("to be famous / rich /to live well, etc. "). Some Narcissists react by creatively escaping into rich, imagined worlds in which they exercise total physical and emotional control over their environment. But all of them react by diverting libido, which should have been object-oriented to their own Self.
The source of all the Narcissist's problems is the foreboding sensation that human relationships invariably end in humiliation, betrayal and abandonment. This belief is embedded in them during their very early childhood by their parents. But the Narcissist always generalizes. To him, any emotional interaction and any interaction with an emotional component is bound to end this way. Getting attached to a place, a job, an asset, an idea, an initiative, a business, or a pleasure is bound to end as badly as getting attached to a human being. This is why the Narcissist avoids intimacy, real friendships, love, other emotions, commitment, attachment, dedication, perseverance, planning, emotional or other investment, morale or conscience (which are only meaningful if there is a tomorrow to consider and to believe in), developing a sense of security, or pleasure.
The Narcissist emotionally invests only in things which he feels that he is in full, unmitigated control of: himself and, at times, not even that. I. The Narcissist's Mother - A Suggestion for an Integrative Framework The whole structure of the Narcissistic Disorder is a derivative of the prototypical relationship with a Mother. This Mother usually was inconsistent and frustrating in her behaviour. By being so, she thwarted the Narcissist's ability to trust others and to feel secure with them. By emotionally deserting - she fostered fears of being abandoned and the nagging sensation that the world is a dangerous, unpredictable place.
She became a negative, devaluating voice, which was duly incorporated in the Superego. Our natural state is anxiety, the readiness - physiological and mental - to "fight or flight." Research indicates that the Primary Object (PO) is really the child, rather than its mother. The child identifies itself as an object almost at its birth. It explores itself, reacts and interacts, it monitors its bodily reactions to internal and external inputs and stimuli. The flow of blood, the peristaltic movement, the swallowing reflex, the texture of saliva, the experience of excretion, being wet, thirsty, hungry or content - all these cannot but alienate the sellers child from its self. It assumes the position of observer and integrator early on.
As Kohut said, it has both a Self and the ability to relate to objects. This intimacy with a familiar and predictable object (oneself) is a primary source of security and the precursor to emerging narcissism. The mother is only a Secondary Object (SO). It is the second object that the child learns to relate to and it has the indispensable developmental advantage of being transcendental, external to the child.
All meaningful others are Auxilliary Objects (AO). A "good enough" SO serves to extend the lessons of of the PO and apply them to the world at large. The child learns that the external environment can be as predictable and safe as the internal one. This titillating discovery leads to a modification of the naive or primitive narcissism. It recedes to the background allowing more prominent and adaptive strategies to the fore. In due time - and subject to an accumulation of the right positively reinforcing experiences, a higher form of narcissism develops: self-love and self-esteem.
If, however, SO fails, the child reverts back to the PO and to its correlated narcissism. This is a regression in the chronological sense. But it is an adaptive strategy. The emotional consequences of rejection and abuse are too difficult to contemplate. Narcissism ameliorates them by providing a substitute object. This is an adaptive, survival-oriented act.
It provides the child with time to "organize and come to grips with its thoughts and feelings" and perhaps to come back with a different strategy more suited to the new - unpleasant and threatening - data. So the interpretation of this regression as a failure of object love is wrong. The SO, the object chosen as the target of object love, was the wrong object. Object love continues with a different, familiar, object.
The child changes objects, not his capacity for object-love or its implementation. If this failure to establish a proper object-relation persists and is not alleviated, all future objects will be perceived as extensions of the Primary Object (the Self), or the objects of a merger with one's self, because they will be perceived narcissistically. There are, therefore, two modes of object perception: The narcissistic (all objects are perceived as variations of the perceiving Self) and the social (all objects are perceived as others or self objects). As we said earlier, the Core (narcissistic) Self - precedes language or interaction with others. As the Core Self matures it can develop either into a True Self OR into a False self.
The two are mutually exclusive (a person with False Self has no True Self). The distinction of the False Self is that it perceives others narcissistically. As opposed to it, the True Self perceives others socially. The child constantly compares his first experience with an object (his internalized PO) to his experience with his SO. The internalization's of both the PO and the SO are modified as a result of this process of comparison. The SO is idealized and internalized to form what I call the SEGO (loosely, the equivalent of Freud's Superego plus the internalized outcomes of social interactions throughout life).
The internalized PO is constantly modified to be compatible with input by the SO (for example: you are loved, if the child is lucky). This is the process by which the Ideal Ego is created. The internalization's of the PO, of the SO and of the outcomes of their interactions (for instance, of the results of the aforementioned constant comparison between them) form what Bowlby calls "working models." These are constantly updated representations of both the Self and of Meaningful Others (what I call Auxilliary Others). The narcissist's working models are defective. They pertain to his Self and to ALL others. To the narcissist, ALL others are meaningful because NO ONE has BEEN meaningful hitherto.
This forces him to resort to crude abstractions (imagine the sheer number of working models needed). He is forced to dehumanize, objectify, generalize, idealize, devalue, or stereotype in order to cope with the sheer volume of potential interactions with meaningful objects. In his defense against being overwhelmed, he feels so superior, so inflated - because he is the only REAL three-dimensional character in the whole cast of his personal movie! Moreover, the narcissist's working models are rigid and never updated because he does not feel that he is in interaction with real objects. How can one feel empathic, for instance, towards a representation or an abstraction or an object of gratification?
A matrix of possible axes of interaction between Child and Mother can be easily constructed. The first term in each of these equations of interaction describes the Child, the second the Mother. The Mother can be: Accepting (good enough) Domineering Doting Indifferent Rejecting Abusive The Child can be: Attracted Repelled (due to unjust mistreatment, for instance) The possible axes are: Child / Mother 1. Attraction-Attraction / Accepting (Healthy axis, leads to self love) 2. Attraction Attraction / Domineering (Could lead to personality disorders such as Avoidant, Schizoid, to Social Phobia, etc. ) 3. Attraction Attraction / Doting (Could lead to Cluster B personality disorders) 4.
Attraction-Repulsion / Indifferent (passive-aggressive, frustrating) (Could lead to narcissism, Cluster B disorders) 5. Attraction-Repulsion / Rejecting (Could lead to personality disorders such as Paranoid, Borderline, etc. ) 6. Attraction-Repulsion / Abusive (Could lead to DID, ADHD, NPD, BPD, AHD, As PD, PPD, etc. ) 7. Repulsion-Repulsion / Indifferent (Could lead to Avoidant, Schizoid, Paranoid, etc. PDs) 8. Repulsion-Repulsion / Rejecting (Could lead to personality, mood, anxiety disorders and to impulsive behaviors, such as eating disorders) 9.
Repulsion-Attraction/Accepting (Could lead to unresolved Oedipal conflicts and to neuroses) 10. Repulsion-Attraction/Domineering (Could have the same results as axis 6) 11. Repulsion-Attraction/Doting (Could have the same results as axis 9) This, of course, is a very rough draft-matrix. Many of the axes can be combined to yield more complex clinical pictures. But to my mind, it provides an initial, coarse, map of the possible interactions between the PO and the SO in early childhood and the unsavory results of bad objects internalized. The results of this POSO matrix continue to interact with AO to form a global self evaluation ( = self esteem or sense of self worth).
This process - the formation of a coherent sense of self-esteem - starts with POSO interactions within the matrix and continues roughly till the age of 8, all the time gathering and assimilating interactions with AO ( = meaningful others). First, a model of attachment relationship is formed (approximately the matrix above). This model is based on the internalization of the Primary Object (later, the Self). The attachment interaction with SO follows and following a threshold quantity of interactions with AO, the more global self is formed. This process of the formation of a global self rests on the operation of a few critical principles: (1) The child, as we said earlier, develops a sense of "mother-constancy." This is crucial. If the child cannot predict and be sure of the behavior (let alone the presence) of his mother from one moment to another - it would find it hard to believe in anything, predict anything and expect anything.
Because the self, to some extent (some say: to a large extent), is comprised of the adopted and internalized outcomes of the interactions with others - negative outcomes get to be incorporated in the budding self as well as positive ones. In other words, a child feels lovable and desirable if it is indeed loved and wanted. If it is rejected, it is bound to feel worthless and worthy only of rejection. In due time, the child develops behaviors which ensure its rejection and the outcomes of which thus conform with its self-perception. (2) The adoption and assimilation of the judgement of others and its incorporation into a coherent sense of self-worth and self-esteem. (3) The discounting or filtering-out of contrarian information. Once Bowlby's "working models" are at work, they act as selective membranes.
No amount of external information to the contrary will alter these models significantly. Granted, shifts in RELATIVE positions may and do occur in later stages of life. A person can feel more or less accepted, more or less competent, more or less integrated into a given social setting. But these are changes in the values of parameters WITHIN a set equation ( = the working model).
The equation itself is really altered and only by very serious life crises. Reprinted with permission from: For Want of a Better Good [In process] Author: Alan Challoner MA (Phil) M ChS (Attachment Theory Researcher Counsellor in Adoption & Fostering, and associated child development issues. MA awarded by thesis on the psychology of handicap - A Culture of Ambiguity; 1992): "A developmental line for narcissism has been devised by Temeles, and it consists of twelve phases that are characterised by a particular relationship between self-love and object-love and occur in a precise order. " [Temeles, M. S. A developmental line for narcissism: The path to self-love and object love. In Cohen, Theodore, B. ; Etezady, M.
Hossein; & Patella, B. L. [Eds. ] The Vulnerable Child. Vol 1; The Vulnerable Child. International Univ. Press; Madison, CT, USA; 1993. ] PROTO-SELF AND PROTO-OBJECT As the infant is incapable of distinguishing either the self or the object as adult s do, this phase is marked by their absence. However he is competent in certain attributes particularly those that allow him to interact with his environment.
From birth his moments of pleasure, often the instrument of infant-mother interaction, are high points in the phase. He will try to avoid the low points of un pleasure by creating a bond that is marked by early maternal intervention to restore the status quo. BEGINNING SELF-OBJECT DIFFERENTIATION AND OBJECT PREFERENCE The second phase can begin as early as the third week, and by the fourth month the infant has prescribed his favourite individuals (apart from mother). However he is still not really discriminating between self and subject. He is now ready to engage in a higher state of interaction with others. He babbles and smiles and tries to make some sense out of his local environment.
If he should fail to make the sort of contact that he is seeking then he will turn away in a manner that is unequivocal in its meaning. His main social contact at this stage is by the eye, and he makes no bones about his feelings of pleasure or displeasure. His bond with his mother, at best, is now flowing and, if he is fortunate, there is a mutual admiration society established. This is not however an isolated practice for there is a narcissistic element on both sides that is reinforced by the strength of the attachment. His continued development allows him to find an increasing number of ways in which he might generate, autonomously, personal pleasure. He finds delight in making new sounds, or indeed doing anything that brings him his mothers approbation.
He is now almost ready to see himself in contrast to others. SELF-CONSTANCY & OBJECT-CONSTANCY The infant is now becoming able to know himself as me, as well as being able to know familiar others as them. His fraternization with father, siblings and grandparents or any other closely adjacent person, endows this interaction with a tone of special recognition as one of the gang. This is of vital importance to him because he gains a very special feedback from these people. They love him and they shown their approbation for his every ploy that he constructs in an effort to seal this knot. He is now at the beginning of a period when he starts to feel some early self-esteem.
Again if he is lucky, he will be delighted at being himself and in his situation. Also at this stage he can often create a special affinity for the same-sex parent. He throws up expansive gestures of affection, and yet can also become totally self-absorbed in his growing confidence that he is on a winning streak. AWARENESS OF AWARENESS: SELF-CENTREDNESS This is an extension of the third phase and he is continuously becoming more aware of himself and is adept at gaining the pleasures he seeks. The phase also coincides with the beginning of the decline of maternal feeling that he is the best thing on this earth. His activities both positive and negative have started to draw on maternal resources to the point where they may at times be sapping.
Thus at the beginning of the childs second year the mother starts to realise that the time has come when she must shout the odds. She begins to make demands of him and, at times, to punish him, albeit in a discrete way. She may not now respond as quickly as she did before, or she may not seem quite so adoring as she was three months ago. The most dynamic intervention that a child can have at this time is the fear of the loss of love. He needs to be loved so that he can still love himself. This beginning of a time of self-reflection needs him to be aware of being aware.
It is now possible for him to be injured narcissistically, for example, perhaps through sibling rivalry. His relationship with his same-sex parent takes on a new importance. It now goes beyond just a mutuality club. Because he is becoming aware of his limitations, he needs to know through this relationship with the same-sex parent, just what he may become. This allows his narcissistic image of himself to be regularly re-polished after any lapses that might have tarnished it. OBJECT-CENTRED PHASE: THE FIRST LIBIDINAL DISAPPOINTMENT This is what has been described as the oedipal period, when genital and object-directed sexuality comes to the fore.
He must continue to recover whenever he receives a blow to his self-esteem; but more, he must learn not to over-compensate. As Temeles puts it, Narcissistic supplies from both the adored oedipal object and also the loved rival are threatened as the childs libidinal investments are sporadically supplanted by negative impulses. (Idem) The child will refresh his relationships on a different platform, but nevertheless maintains and is sustained by his attachments to his parents, and other subsidiary figures. At a time when he begins to divest himself of some of the libidinal baggage he may enter into a new love affair with a peer. The normal pattern is for these to disintegrate when the child enters the period of latency, and for the interregnum to be typified with a period of sexual segregation. By now he is going to school and is acquiring a new level of self-sufficiency that continues to enhance his narcissism. BEGINNING PROMINENCE OF PEER GROUPS: NEW OBJECTS This phase, which begins sometime in the third year, is marked by a resolution of the oedipal period and a lessening of the infant ties with the parents as the child turns his attention towards his peers and some other special adults (such as teachers or other rle models).
In some respects these new objects start to replace some of the narcissistic supplies that he continues to gain from his parents. This of course has its dangers because other objects can be notoriously fickle, especially peers. He is now at a stage where he has journeyed into the outside world and is vulnerable to the inconstancies of those who now are around him in greater numbers. However all is not lost for the world revolves in circles and the input that he requires from others is shared by the input that they need from him. On an individual basis therefore if he falls out with one person then he very quickly will fall in with another. The real potential problem here is for him to be disliked by so many others of his peers that his self-esteem is endangered.
Sometimes this can be rectified by his mastery of other elements; particularly if they contribute a steady flow of narcissistic supplies. However the group-ideal is of great significance and seems to have become more so in recent times. The development of a burgeoning independence together with a sense of group recognition are both in the nature of self-preservation issues. The parental influence, if it has been strong and supportive and consistently streaked with affection and love, will be the launching pad for an adequate personality and a move towards eventual independence.
BEGINNING PROMINENCE OF SELF-ASSESSMENT: IMPACT ON SELF-LOVE This pre-adolescent phase encompasses a child who still needs the reassurance of his peers, and hereabouts his attachments to certain individuals or groups will intensify. The assaults on his self-esteem now come from a different quarter. There is an increased concentration on physical attributes, and other comparisons will be made that might diminish or raise his narcissistic supplies. His self-confidence can be strained at this time, and whilst the same-sex peer is still dominant, the opposite-sex peer starts to catch the corner of his eye. At this time, when he needs all the support he can gather, he may find to his chagrin that a certain ambivalence is coming to pass in his relationships with his parents. They in turn are discovering a rapidly changing, not so compliant, and more independent child.
They may be astounded by the group ideals that he has adopted, and whilst in reality he still needs to receive from them abundant narcissistic supplies, the affectionate ties may be strained and the expected or desired support may be somewhat withered. BEGINNING SEXUAL MATURITY: IMPORTANCE OF THE SEXUAL OBJECT At this stage ties with parents continue to slacken, but there is an important change taking place as the affectionate characteristics are converging with libidinal ones. The need to be loved is still there and the adolescent version of narcissism begins to trail its coat. Gradually the narcissistic element is enhanced as the subject becomes more self-assured and develops the need to win the frank admiration of a sexual object.
Hormonal mood swings can underlie the degree to which rejection reduces the narcissistic supplies. Where there is a blatant over-valuation of the self it is often the result of a defence mechanism coming in to play to protect the subject. Individual subjects compare themselves with others in their group and may become aware of either shortcomings or advantages that add to the feelings in self-assessment. Over-inflated ego-ideals may bring about a negative assessment, and the need arises for young people to confront themselves with reality.
A failure to do this will result in a much more severe assault on their narcissism later. RESURGENCE OF MASTER ISSUES: IMPACT OF SELF-LOVE Having now experienced the change of love object, and tasted the new relations that stem from it, there is a need to resume the issues of mastery. These are no longer childhood fantasies but are the basic requirements for a successful future. On them depend the acquisition of a successfully completed education, skill training and employment. At this stage narcissistic supplies depend upon success, and if this is not obtained legitimately then it may be sought by other means.
His culture and to some extent his peer group will tend to dictate what the criteria of success will be. Within some societies there is still a gender difference here but it is reducing with time. Temeles suggests that, if the womans narcissistic supplies are, in fact, more dependent on maintaining a relationship with the libidinal object, then perhaps it reflects a greater need to maintain more affectionate ties reminiscent of the past. (Idem) When the time comes for parenthood earlier ties tend to be reinvigorated; parents become grandparents and the cycle begins again. THE BALANCE BETWEEN SELF- AND OBJECT-GENERATED NARCISSIST
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