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... e age of 14 attempted to protect their mothers and 62 % were injured in the process. - 63 % of young men between the ages of 11 and 20 who are serving time for homicide have killed their mothers abuser. Does your partner? Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family? Put down your accomplishments or goals? Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance? Tell you that you are nothing without them? Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you? Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you? Blame you for how they feel or act? Pressure you sexually for things you arent ready for? Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the relationship? Prevent you from doing things you want - like spending time with your friends or family? Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach you a lesson"?
Do You... Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act? Constantly make excuses to other people for your partners behavior? Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself? Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry? Feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want? Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up? If any of these are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse will continue. How can I help a friend? - BECOME INFORMED: Gather all information you can about domestic violence. Contact programs in your area that assist abused women and their children.
These programs not only offer women safety, but also provide advocacy, support, and other needed services. Sometimes your own feelings about violence may make it difficult for you to confront the situation. Contact your local domestic violence hotline or program and talk about your concerns. Abused womens advocates can be an excellent source of support for both you and your friend. - LEND AN EMPATHETIC EAR: Letting your friend know that you are willing to listen may be the best help you can offer. Dont force the issue, but allow her to confide in you and her own pace. Keep your mind open and really listen to what she tells you.
Never blame her for whats happening or underestimate her fear of potential danger. Remember that your friend must make her own decisions about her own life. Focus on supporting her right to make her own choices. - GUIDE HER TO COMMUNITY SERVICES: When she asks for advice on what she should do, share the information youve gathered with her privately. Let her know she in not alone and that caring people are available to help her. Encourage her to seel the assistant of abused womens advocates a the local domestic violence hotline or program.
Assure her that any information she shares with them will be kept strictly confidential. Many abused women first seek the advice of marriage counsellors, psychiatrists, or members of the clergy. Not all helping professionals, however, are fully aware of the special circumstances of abused women. If the first person she contacts is not helpful, she should be encouraged to find assistance elsewhere. - FOCUS ON HER STRENGTHS: Abused women live with emotional and well as physical abuse. Youre friend is probably continually told by the abuser that she is a bad woman, a bad wife, and a bad mother. Without positive reinforcement from the outside the home, she may begin to believe she cant do anything right, that there is really something wrong with her.
Give her the emotional support she needs to believe that she is a good person. Help her examine her strengths and skills. Emphasize that she deserves a life that is free from violence. - BE A FRIEND IN DEED: Tell her youre there for her when she needs you. Provide whatever you can; transportation, child care, financial assistance, etc - SHARE YOUR CONCERNS FOR HER SAFETY: At some point, you may find it difficult to be supportive of you r friend if she remains in the violent relationship or returns to the abuser after a temporary separation. Let her know that not everyone lives with abuse. Share your concerns of the physical and emotional harm that she and her children may suffer if she stays.
Discuss with your friend the dangerous reality of living with an abusive partner. Remind her that even a push or a shove can result in serious injury. But above all, remember that your friend is making very difficult, life altering decisions. These decisions do not come fast and perhaps not the way you imagine.
This is true for all of our decisions know that she is making decisions to save her life, this is a path you may not understand. - HELP HER DEVELOP A SAFETY PLAN: Encourage your friend to plan to protect herself and her children. Help her think through the steps she should take if her partner becomes abusive again. Make a list of people she can call in an emergency. Suggest that she put together and hide a suitcase of clothing, personal items, money, social security cards, bankbooks, the childrens birth certificates and school records, and other important documents. Conclusion: Domestic violence is about control.
Abusers use the power they have, social and or physical, to establish control within an intimate relationship, They use a pattern of behaviours to intimidate, manipulate, and physically violate their partners. Abusing is a choice and solely the responsibility of the abuser. Most people have a difficult time thinking of abusing as a choice, and describe abusers as losing it. But try to remember how we all make decisions to meet our own needs. We identify what we want and all the possible ways we can accomplish our goal. We decide how to reach our goals based on what we believe is OK or what we are willing to do.
Abusing is no different. Women continually describe how their partners go from one tactic to another when they want something. Some abusers will go as far as emotional abuse, isolation, or intimidation. Some will choose to control economic resources or threaten physical harm to the victim, her children or loved ones.
Some ultimately choose violence to get what they want, and the underlying threat of physical violence affects the every aspect of a relationship. Whatever the tactics if you are forced to make decisions on how your partner may hurt you physically or emotionally, your partner has behaved inappropriately; and when violence is used, they have acted criminally. Using violence and / or other controlling behaviours is not acceptable. No one deserves to be abused.
Free research essays on topics related to: make decisions, domestic violence, make you feel, partner, abused women
Research essay sample on Make You Feel Domestic Violence
