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It hurts; Im so cold so cold so cold right now I dont hardly know how I can be alive. Its best not to think about death, said Jimmy, some things its just best not to think about. I was chasing kitties, chasing kitties down the dirty, wet alley. The kitties always run. They run and run and run, but I think they might like to be hugged and loved and petted. I think they might.
So I kept chasing the kitties. Sometimes I get hungry, but its best not to think, said Jimmy. Dont think about what youre eating, Jimmy said. Jimmys kinda smart; I think hes the smartest guy I know. Hes half grown up. I cant wait till I grow up.
Then I wont be so cold. Grownups are never cold. Grownups live in houses filled with kitties. And in houses filled with apple juice. I really like apple juice. Its so sweet and cool and clean.
I mostly only like it in the summer. Jimmy says I was little last summer, but now, he says, Im a big boy who can get his own food, a big boy who can fend for himself. I felt good when he said that, like he liked me more than the other kids. There arent many other kids; I try not to pay much attention, because I know theyll all just go away. Bobbo went away, Jimmy said to a better place. The zoo is the best place I can think of.
I love to go to the zoo. You have to pretend youre with a school group. It usually always works. But if it dont ya gots ta run and run, says Jimmy. Jimmys really smart. There are lots of people you gots ta run from.
Mostly though, we run from the police. Jimmy says police funny, like hes talking about something that makes him really sick. ya gots ta run from the poolease says Jimmy. He says if the police ever catch us theyll throw us in jail cause wes been so bad. He says the police dont understand and that all they want to do is fill their commas. Im not real sure what a comma is, but it doesnt sound right to me.
I dont want to be part of any police mans comma. Thats all Jimmy says we are, he says were part of the comma. Last week I almost caught this kitty. I ran hard and harder and I got so close, but this kitty ran into a house. Oh, I thought, this kitty belongs to someone, this kitty belongs to grownups. How nice it must be to be able to run somewhere instead of just running away.
I almost, kinda, remember when I belonged to grownups, just like that kitty. Jimmy said most people had them at one point or another. Most people had parents. But that ours hated us, or that we were very bad to them. Sometimes I think that maybe Jimmys wrong. I dont really understand why someone would want to hate me. I didnt do nothing wrong. Why would they hate just us? I wish I could remember what I did wrong. All I remember from my grownups is how warm it was, and I dont remember much else.
In my experience though, warm things are almost never bad. My house is a big house; all of us live in the big, big house. Its filled with blankets and theres a mattress and theres even pictures on the wall in some places. The other day I found a crayon and made my own picture on the wall. I like to think that my picture is good. Maybe someone will see it someday and say my, what a good picture.
Theyd say did you make this good picture? and Id say yes maam or sir or whoever it might be, I think it would be a maam and a sir. And theyd say, well I think wed like to take such a talented young man with us and give him apple juice and let him pet his very own kitty cat, his name would probably be Sniffles the cat, Im almost certain. Yesterday Jimmy took us to McDonalds. I really like McDonalds. McDonalds throws away its food. They throw away so much it would feed ten of me, and it almost always does. Jimmy says if you arent careful about what you eat youll probably get a stomachache from eating something bad. But sometimes I get so hungry, Jimmy says its best not to think about it, its just best not to think at all.
I remember when I first met Jimmy; he said I was so little I was like a baby bird. Then he took it back and said,nah you was just a little bugger though. I remember how scary I thought he was, and how I didnt know how to do nothing right, I was sick and cold and hungry, and Jimmy said to me, Jimmy said hey kid why dontcha come over this way and well see if we maybe cant help you out a little bit and he sure did help me out a little bit, without Jimmy I dont know exactly where Id be. Id probably be shoted, by the police. At least thats what Jimmy says. Jimmy says we have to get money somehow.
We at least have to try. He says aint nobody gonna chase down a hungry little kid, but Im still scared. Nobody has the heart to do that cepting the police. The police chase everyone. We should run and we should steal womens purses and mens wallets and all sorts of things, we should learn how to steal. I wouldnt feel bad though, those people have too much, and they should share anyways.
Jimmy says wes all got to share all the time, that thats the only thing that keeps us human. Ive never been so cold as I am right now. Ive just never been this cold. Im too cold to yell for Jimmy, but I yell and yell and yell anyways. I yell and yell and yell. But Jimmy doesnt come.
I wrap myself warmer and warmer and I huddle against the wall, I curl my body into a tight little ball. I breathe into my hands to try and unthaw them. I dont know if anyone else is this cold, I havent heard them moving around. Maybe theyre asleep already. Im trying to wiggle my toes right now. I tell myself I should think, I should just think, even though Jimmy says its not the best thing to think a lot. I think I should think, to take my mind away from being so cold, I think that might help a lot, I think I think I think.
I think about soft and slippery fuzzy little kitties running and running through beds of flowers, beds of blue and green and purple and red flowers, swaying and rocking to some music I cant hear, the kitties even run through a bed of sweet sickly smelling polka dot flowers. The kitties come and hug me and tell me how glad they are that I have finally caught them, how happy they are to be with me, how we should always be together. How glad it makes them that I can now love and hug and pet the all day. What a wonderful thing the kitties exclaim, then the kitties dance and dance and dance, they dance in wide wide wide dancing circles, and I laugh because Ive never seen a kitty stand on two legs, though I always suspected it was possible. Then other people come, other people come and talk to me. Parents come and talk to me, not just any parents, but my very own parents come and talk to me.
And they tell me that the evil men cam and stole me away, and theyve been looking and looking and looking for me all over the world. In fact they were just recently in France, looking for me in the waffle tower. How glad how glad how glad they are to have finally found me, that Im their big boy, look how big Ive gotten, dont I remember my own parents? Dont I remember them? They come to hug and love and kiss me again. Then the police come, then the police come and tell my parents to move along move along move along. And Im almost certain theyre trying to hide Sniffles the cat. I think about the things that Jimmy says and I think and think and think. Jimmys so smart, I try to remember things that Jimmys said, I try to think of something that will help me now, I try to think and think and think. And I dont know.
I dont dont dont know. I cant seem to remember anything Jimmys ever said about staying warm I cant seem to remember anything. And all of a sudden, god Im hot, god oh god oh god Im hot. Think you god Im hot, I should take my clothes off, I feel like Im burning. God what if I am burning? How can I be so hot when its so so so cold outside, so so so cold? And now Im falling falling falling. Surprisingly it feels good to fall to fall down and down and down.
The world seems to swirl and all I can think is what if this is the last thing I ever feel. What if Jimmy finds me naked and dirty and hot and frozen lying on the floor of our house? All I can do anymore is stare at my picture on the wall, my picture on the wall next to my bed. Maybe, maybe this is where my parents come in, maybe this is where my mommy comes in and hugs me, maybe this is where the kitties coming and take me away to that place that place that place. All I can see is that place with the flowers thats all I can see anymore. And it doesnt make me sad. It doesnt make me sad at all. All I can feel is this inside warmth.
And it reminds me of the coldness of the days. And I can turn my back on it and I can just fly I can just flyI can just fly. Bibliography:.
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